Experience Description

It was October 29, 2005. I was still upset about my cousin's suicide in 1999. My stepdad Keith had just died of Lou Gehrig's disease. I was arguing with current boyfriend. I went to bathroom and took all my mental health pills, all sixty of them. Then had a knife to my throat. My boyfriend came into bathroom to continue the arguing. I then told him I am going to complete killing myself. He called 911 and battled the knife out of my hand. Shortly after the cops show up. That is when I said I overdosed myself on my psych medications. The police called a ambulance and I was taken to a research medical hospital. I was fine on the ride to hospital answering the emergency medical technician's questions. When I realized that they were going to keep me in the hospital, I tried to leave and got aggressive with the staff. That is when staff decided to put me in restraints. Once I was laid flat on the bed, I noticed I could not breathe. So I was fighting the staff to sit upright but they thought I was trying to fight them. So they kept me down. I continued to struggle to breathe and then I was making gagging, choking sounds. At some point, I thought I had passed out.

That was until I realized I was standing above my body. I saw the staff working to intubate me, but one of the pills got stuck in the tracheal tube. Then I left the room and was traveling down a tunnel with a bright light. As I went further up the tunnel, the light got bigger and brighter. Then I was in the throne room of God. Jesus Christ was seated next to God. The throne room was pure white. Then I stood there in absolute awe at the beauty of Jesus. Jesus was wearing a white robe with a purple sash and had flames in his eyes. His golden crown had many bright jewels in it. The jewels were purple, green, and red. I looked back at Jesus and his sash. Then the sash turned red. I was looking into His eyes. I saw forever in them: He was so beautiful. Then I remember bowing before Jesus and God. They both spoke to me, but I do not remember what was said by them.

Then I woke up with a machine breathing for me. My mom was standing next to me crying. When I woke up my mom got the nurse. I asked to write something down so the nurse grabbed an erasable board and pen. First, I asked, 'What happened?' The nurse said that I coded in the emergency room. They had trouble getting me intubated because the pill was stuck in the tube that goes to my left lung. The nurse said I was lucky because they almost had to cut a hole in my throat. But finally, the pill gave way and they got me breathing. To this day I have that pill still in my left lung. After all that, I wrote something else on the board, 'Jesus was beautiful and he talked to me.'

I was so frightened when I first entered the throne room but this over whelming love took over my body. It was a love that no human could ever give. It comforted me and let me know it was all right. I know to this day that God forgave me for doing that. I also know that purple means faith. At first his sash was purple and then it turned blood red as if He forgave me. To this day, I believe He sent me back to serve Him in some way some day and I am willing and ready. That is my experience.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: October 29th 2005

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) Suicide attempt

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I heard the doctors talking while reviving me. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Very high

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The whole time

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Cannot explain

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision is somewhat blurry but not when I had my near death experience.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I am partially deaf in my left ear. At the time of this, I could hear very well.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

The experience included: Tunnel

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No See above

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The throne room of God.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Awe, loved, scared

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:


What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian Just christain

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Told already

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Jesus and God talking to me

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes Jesus

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:


During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain Do not remember

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Uncertain Do not know

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I greatly fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt the love of God surround me

Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? I got closer to God. I got closer to God.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:


Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes When I touch some things, I see past events of multiple things. I also see paranormal activity.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Knowing Jesus is real.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My mother, earlier this year.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Mind-blowing

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real There is a God and try to teach others about him

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Not so many questions that are repeated