Esteban FR NDE

Experience Description:

I had gone up to Madrid on work-related business and there, in my hotel, I started feeling ill. I had never been sick (expect for the classic flu and colds) but I knew from the first moment that my heart wasn't working right. Pressure in my chest and rapid pulse. I took an aspirin and felt better, but I decided to go to a specialist as soon as possible when I would be home the next day. But when I returned to my office in Granada, at about noon, I started feeling ill again. They took me to the emergency room and hospitalized me right away because they diagnosed me as being on the verge of a heart attack. Because of the apparent seriousness, they took me to the intensive care unit at the hospital and it was around six in the evening when neither the Nitro drip nor anything else helped me. It wasn't an intense pain, it was acute distress and my heart was firing in increasingly rapid bursts. I remember having to shift around in the bed to get comfortable - but I immediately realized that the time they had warned me about had arrived and the heart attack was happening. When I realized I was going to die, those first moments were painful thinking about the grief my family would experience at such an untimely end. But I am a man of faith and I began thinking that the serious moment of death had arrived and I centered my thoughts on my inner self. I was afraid of the unknown because although, as I said, I am a man of faith, faith is not certain and there is always a degree of worry about what is going to happen after this life. At a time of intimacy with God, something that helped me at that moment, I noticed that the heart attack had arrived and my heart stopped - and I wasn't even aware when this happened as I fell back on the bed and my back hit the mattress.

At that precise moment, at an instant so brief it can't be measured, I disconnected from my body and was overflowed with a sense of fulfillment and weightlessness. I clearly understood that I had died and that I was free from all bother and heaviness, and I found myself alive and feeling wonderful with a sense of peace and incredible wellbeing. I was in a place of calm where I felt happy and euphoric to find that, yes, there is another life where death is no more. When images of my wife and children came to me, I wasn't bothered by them, neither did I feel sorrow nor anything - because if what awaits them is this eternal wonder, of what importance is pain and suffering in this life if afterwards there is only peace and wellbeing? Such earthly problems and joys are seen as very insignificant from that realm. There is nothing to disturb the peace, and one feels love for all beings since there is no possibility of any rancor. It's a perfect state. So there I was, happy and awaiting events knowing that someone would come to get me to enter into this eternal life, when I felt that I was returning to connect with my body and I began feeling the illness I had forgotten about. The first thing I heard was a woman's voice with a Valencian accent saying, 'He's coming back, he's coming back!'

'I know I'm coming back,' I said to myself, and felt both grief and courage on returning here once again. It was clear that I had returned! If I left with much pain, I returned to my body with much more anguish. I didn't want to return, and I was filled with sorrow for having left that marvelous state where I had been immensely happy!

When I regained the ability to see with my eyes, I observed that doctors and machines, among them the defibrillation paddles used to bring people back to life, surrounded me. But I didn't feel anything. I returned to my body through the paraphernalia of instruments and medical personnel surrounding me. And here I am describing this, 'my great experience,' that happened eleven years ago although it seems like I am reliving it anew it is so fresh.

I wrote a little book about this experience but it won't fit in the space allotted here, although I have no problem sending it to supplement my story since my only objective is to make known what there is in the next life before leaving this one.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 5 de Febrero de 1905

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) They put me in the intensive care unit because they suspected a heart attack.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I knew what was happening to me at every moment and I understood my condition with absolute clarity. I awaited events that were going to happen next.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the whole time I felt lucid and awake like I have never felt here.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Neither As I said before, as a theoretical physicist, not being subject to time or space was a great surprise.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Neither

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I waited completely at peace to see something concrete since I had heard about the 'tunnel.' But as a professor of physics (I'm a theoretical physicist) what surprised me most of all was having the sensation of not being connected either to space or time.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. As I said, my senses were of no use to me. It's like floating outside time-space. It's a new and strange situation.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Neither

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? Neither

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? Neither

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Clearly mystical or unearthly realm

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Incredible peace and wellbeing, moved by immeasurable love for everything and everybody, bound by enormous joy and confirming the existence of another life. It is now knowledge where before it was only faith. It is by far the most powerful experience of my life. I now have no fear of death.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? Neither

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? Neither I was so happy in my new state, that all the good and bad I had experienced in this life was insignificant. I remembered my family and acquaintances with immense love and without worrying about them knowing what awaited them when they left this 'life.'

Did scenes from the future come to you? Neither Well, I think I'm more aware of spiritual perceptions. I consider this normal since being disconnected from my body. It was, as they say, pure spirit and I know one feels it this way.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? Neither

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate católico

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Moderate católico

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? Neither

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? Neither

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I understood everything with a special clairvoyance. It's like knowing that you know without previous knowledge.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes In that state I discovered that the only important thing is LOVE. From that moment, on I love people much more intensely (since the experience I created a charitable institution which is now a foundation). I also love my self very much, something I had completely forgotten to do during my intensive professional life because the only luggage we can take with us from this life is what we do out of love for others and ourselves. Our soul is made for LOVE, and from that realization, I understand we are happy here when we love and unhappy when we practice 'unlove' (hate, rancor, envy, etc.) As I said at the beginning, I am a Catholic, and after coming to this conclusion following my extraordinary experience, look how the new pope, Benedict, in his first encyclical has corroborated my conclusion. The title is, 'GOD is LOVE' and so if the soul is made in His image and likeness, it has evidently been made for LOVE.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Everything was an unforgettable, powerful discovery that is always with me.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I wrote my experience in a little book under the scientific heading of theoretical physics since the Theory of Relativity explains what seems inexplicable to our senses, this special state of not being subjected to space-time. It's something entirely new. Last year I gave two conferences in Madrid about my findings, the last was 6 October 2005 in the Real Casino of Madrid. Based on the interest exhibited by the audience, it was a great success.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I had heard about the famous tunnel - but my enormous dedication to my work and profession did not permit me to pay any special attention to this topic.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I was without breathing or heartbeat for more than two and a half minutes and our brain loses activity after ten seconds without blood flow. So, measured by real time we experience in this life subject to our body, I should have noticed a decline in memory and understanding - as if my mind were extinguished. But that's not what happened. My memory and understanding remained always CONSTANT and at a far greater level than exercised here in this life. Not even during my best times as a student was I more quick and lucid.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was a true experience, not a dream nor the void of being unconscious. I perfectly understood my disconnection from my body. It was a real experience, unique and unforgettable.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I had the good fortune to know that life continues after this one, that it is a state filled with peace (there is nothing to disturb this peace) and well-being. That God is love and that our being, our soul, is not subject to space nor time and, as a result, consists of another type of energy than that of the universe. It exists in other(s) and in other dimensions. It is made for love, we are made by Him, and we have nothing to fear from love. (It pained me to return.)

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? It is already very comprehensive and touched on enough aspects so that whoever fills it out can present his experience completely. It has been worth my while.