Esterlein B NDE

Experience Description

Before I talk about my NDE, I must begin by saying that when I was very small, just five years old, I was in bed with a high fever and became delirious. Suddenly there were four young girls dressed in white around my bed. They were talking to me and singing to me, as if they were the Sirens of Ulysses or something of the sort. Their faces were unclear, so I don't really know what they looked like; but I do remember that they had long hair and seemed very nice. I cried out and my mother heard me and came quickly to my bed; and right then, they disappeared. I then felt very fearful, and my mother thought that I had had a nightmare.

Then, when I was nineteen, I woke up one morning feeling a bit dizzy. I went into the bathroom, shut the door, and there I fainted. Here is what I remember:

I was suspended in a kind of starry sky which had the form of an ellipse, and around me were those same 'women' that I had seen many years before when I was in bed. They were holding hands and circling and circling, singing to me. They took me towards a very distant light; it was as if I were floating in space. Since then, I've read that others sometimes go through a tunnel, but that is not what my experience was like.

I felt very good. I cannot describe the state I was in, because I had never felt that way before, and have never felt anything like it since - so I have nothing to compare it to. I just let myself be carried and I was very, very happy. I had no fear at all.

Suddenly I heard some banging and voices shouting, and immediately I felt an immense force 'sucking' me in and bringing me back to my body.

I awoke on the floor of the bathroom, and at first, I couldn't remember anything at all of what had just happened. I did notice that my head was really hurting and I had a bump on my temple, and I supposed that I had hit my head on the washbasin.

I got myself off the floor and opened the door, and my sister and mother, who had been trying to get in, tumbled onto me. They were crying, because they hadn't been able to open the door with my body blocking it. They had heard a very big noise; and then when they had tried to get to me, they couldn't; and I had not been responding to their shouts, either.

When they joined me, I began to cry and suddenly the whole experience came back to me. I had an incredible collapse of morale. I could not stop crying; I was inconsolable. The extreme sadness I felt lasted for quite a few minutes.

When my family witnessed my sadness and crying, they became even more alarmed; they didn't know what was going on. They thought it must be the blow to my head that was causing me to cry. They were worried about whether I was all right or not.

That's my story. I have never again felt anything like it. And I'm scared to think that it might happen again.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: junio 1994

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Direct head injury Desmayo en el baño por bajada de tension y golpe en la cabeza con el lavabo. 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening'

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I heard my mother and sister banging and shouting at the door. Up until then, nothing.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Completely. At times I believed I was turning for a long time, but other times it seemed that I was only conscious for a few minutes.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Where I was, my field of vision was not the same, I was merged with the 'cosmos' (in a manner of speaking), and saw in a different way, not with my eyes.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I did not hear in the normal way. One could say I heard their singing with my whole body.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain It was not a tunnel, it was like the cosmos in movement, circling around me. They drew me towards a very distant light. But I did not manage to get near it; I saw it in the distance.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I don't know who they are, they were women - I think four of them, but I'm not sure - dressed in white and just full of light. I could not see their faces; they had long hair, and seemed like elves or nymphs, speaking in song, in a spiritual way.

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes From far off, the light drew us towards it - me and also those who were around me. We kept circling, approaching, and singing.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Si, una especie de cosmos con forma eliptica que giraba y giraba.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Difficult to explain, a feeling of extreme fulfillment, extreme wellbeing, joy, and all the good feelings we can have, all at once. While in that starry ellipse, with the women circling and singing, I had no memory of anything or anyone in my world, nor did I remember who I was.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Sometimes I have the feeling of intuiting things which will happen, bad things. Then I feel bad, very sad. I don't know if this bad feeling is a product of my apprehension or of the fact that something bad really is going to happen. At times, I have been right.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The feelings I had, I have never felt anything equal to them, or even similar to them.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain At times I seem to notice something of a paranormal nature, but I'm never sure whether it's just my imagination.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Some believe me and others think I have made it up. I think that only my mother and sister completely believe me, as they were the ones to see my reaction when I began sobbing after I woke up.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain It may be that I had heard about all the wonderful light in an afterlife experience, but even so, in no way would I have expected the women that I had seen when I was little, and even less the same song.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real The experience and sensations were completely convincing. What I am less sure about is why they occurred; I don't know if it was a mystical experience or just a hallucination, very well orchestrated by my brain. In spite of how sure I feel that it was real, I can't help that my mind produces doubts.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was completely real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No