Everly M Probable NDE

Experience Description

I was hit by a car while commuting on my bike, and died. If it wasn't for CPR and EXTENSIVE medical intervention, I'd be gone. The NDE feels like a dream now, but it made me cry (really really really hard for HOURS and HOURS while in rehab) because I couldn't figure out the start of me about a month after (thank you psychologist for the advice to hold both beginnings in two hands as equal). I am an NDE-er, and what follows is my experience:

So, I fell out of space time. Like, imagine an elevator door opened, but the frame is just the universe. There were no buttons or anything, and when the door closed space was closed with it. Like, imagine a whole opening in space along the floor. If you fell in it, you'd go a direction that's normally impossible. Fill the hole back up, and you'd move across it just fine because the hole is no longer there. That, but instead of along the X axis, it was along the y and z of spacetime, and instead of dirt it was the fabric of reality.

I fell onto the outside porch of my house, but it was more ornate (like someone really decorated the exterior A LOT) and the deck was on the roof. My house wasn't on the ground. It was floating in space, but I fell on it (weird right?). All over the deck of my house there were video phones of different people's lives. The phones displayed these lives through moments or other people that the other person whose life the phone contained would recognize. I had to dig through all of them to find the one of me to be me again. Each phone had two cats attached to them. One, white cats each and every time, at the ear piece and a black cat (each and every time again) was at the mouth piece. I interpreted that as a good intention is received and motivates, but sometimes I speak evil because of my job (legal profession, conflict is abound).

I was looking for the me I was assigned to look for. There were all these me(s) on all these phones. There was a boy me, an Asian me, a Black me, and so on. They had overlapping traits too (so it might be an Asian girl me, or an Asian Black Boy me). As I looked for myself, the house floated in front of a HHHUUUUGGGEEEEE galaxy. Like, imagine the milky way, but you're looking at it from the top down. That was on the other side of my house-deck from me. It was my mom that I recognized as I looked, and that's how I found myself again. Not sure how I did it or what I did after. Just selected the me I was supposed to be, and woke up in the hospital.

Before this happened, I was a staunch atheist. This was enough to get me to redefine myself as agnostic. I think our religions are limited, and nothing was what I experienced. So, I'm not any specific religion now, but I am leaning towards there's something, whatever it is.

That's my story.

https://www.reddit.com/r/NDE/comments/14xfj2w/had_an_nde_last_december/

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 12/9/2022

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) I was hit by a car while riding a bike. https://cumberlink.com/news/local/communities/carlisle/bicyclist-flown-to-hospital-after-crash-closes-portion-of-south-college-street-in-carlisle-friday/article_010c3d96-77d1-11ed-8595-033384fe2958.html

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain It wasn't like an awareness of a news article, or anything like that. I was having to look through all the other lives to find myself again. I now am unsure if these other lives/memories/people that were beacons for the person whose life I was sorting through are real or not. I was sure they were real lives for people when sorting through all of them to find myself again, but now it seems like they were my subconscious re-asserting itself. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal It seems so now. I am a law student, and am taking my makeup exams on Criminal Procedure and Constitutional Law. At that moment, all that mattered was digging through all these other peoples' lives to find the one I recognized. So, I was able to distinguish between things that were unfamiliar to me to rule out all the not me(s) there were, but it didn't occur to me to talk to anything.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was generally alert and myself. Like, if my soul were self-aware, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that I find myself. Like, achieving the objective was my ONLY purpose then.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I wear glasses with extreme prescription. There was no need to use glasses in my NDE. Things might have been different than the real versions of themselves, but I was able to see (there is the quotation mark again) fine.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was no sound in the experience. My hearing is normally fine.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain The galaxy I saw might have been the coming out of a tunnel into an afterlife (for the lack of a better word), and the darkness around me (with star lights) might have been the embodiment of a tunnel. But it felt more like being in the universe. Maybe it was a reflection of our being of the universe?

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes There was an ENORMOUS galaxy behind the place I was on to sort through all the lives to find myself again. There were stars all around me, but they were HEAVILY concentrated in the galaxy.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I, essentially fell through space-time out of the light and onto a house with a roof-deck that floated somewhere else. I still don't know where it was floating while I was on the roof deck. The house I was on floated with no ground, but I was firmly rooted on the house. I didn't fall from the galaxy I was in front of. It was more like a service door that ran over the house. Like, imagine the walls of the universe opened in the middle-ish of your porch. The universe's service door seemed to have the ability to open anywhere, but it just happened to open a few meters above the roof deck and I fell out of the light through the service door and onto the roof deck

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Purpose. All that I was there to do was find myself again. There was no joy, sadness, jealousy, etc. I was only there to achieve a specific purpose.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I had to have the knowledge to find myself. The knowledge I had wasn't something like E=MC2, but I had enough understanding to find me. Like, I could distinguish all the people who weren't the specific me I was looking for and had the knowledge of who my mom was or who wasn't my mom to help verify that the life I found was the me I was looking for.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events I'm not sure if the lives I had to sort through were actually other people or ways to interpret past lives. All I was there to do was look for the me I am now, and these other lives weren't the me I was looking for.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life Imagine being on a mission to find someone, and all you have are videos or pictures on phones to find that person. The phones that you looked through were limited to one specific life of the person whose pictures and videos you looked through. I found myself to return to, and made decisions of what wasn't me to find the me that I am (like a process of elimination). But I wasn't making a choice to continue to exist or not. All I had to do (not sure who gave me this task of what. It was just the task in front of me) was find the me to be me again.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist I was a staunch atheist. 'You go in a box in the ground' was what I thought.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain Whatever the truth of the universe is, it's more than we could ever imagine. So, I don't believe in any specific religion (Christianity, Buddhism, Scientology, etc.), but for right now I am an agnostic.

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic Now, it's agnostic. No specific agnosticism (like maybe Jesus exists). More like, whatever the truth is, it's more than we could ever imagine

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Before the incident, I was a staunch atheist. It was enough to push me into agnosticism. I might not be right, but whatever the truth of the universe is, it seems beyond our current comprehension.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin There were many beings (the cats). They seemed to be the goodness of mind, but the badness that has to be said in life. I literally thought the white cats were manifestations of good, and the black cats were manifestations of evil.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I knew who my mom was, and she is who I still credit as being the beacon for me to find myself. I definitely knew the details of my life too. Like, as an illustrative example, you're looking for a specific barbie doll or a hot wheels. With what I knew about myself, I could think to myself no, not that one... nope not that one... and such. But once I found myself and could recognize myself, I woke up in the hospital pretty quickly (like. Yep, this is me. Then woke up).

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain It didn't come up, and the task before me of finding the me that I am was the information I had.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain There were the cats, their placement on the phones, and their meaning that I've already explained above. I knew the huge galaxy was a massive truth or existence (like god or maybe just the connection everything has to everything else). Maybe it observed me(?) or was it the general direction of something that was tangentially aware of me (whatever it was, was too massive for me to comprehend then and now), but the cats were the company I kept as I looked for myself.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes All I had to do was find myself to continue existing as I am now. Not sure if there is any other way to exist. My purpose was simply to find the me that I am.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Uncertain All I know was that I fell out of the light onto the roof of my house. Maybe the light I fell out of was everything being connected or maybe it was a divine light. I am uncertain.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life Before the accident, I was a staunch, dead-set atheist. Now, I don't know what happens after we die. Our bodies decay and all that, but what happens to the us that we are is now to me. I haven't changed my purpose in life. All I can and could do is make the lives of people around me better. I fear death as anybody would. I hope it isn't gruesome. ^.^ I do fear losing my mom. I'd hate for her to stop being a part of my life, but that's a fear that is beyond the scope of this inquiry.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I'm out-patient rehabbing until ~December at this point. My mom is my only social circle right now (I have friends, they even visited me when I was in the hospital). She says I'm kinder (I was always kind, but expressing it wasn't something I was good at), and funnier. It might be her being unfamiliar with me after I moved out ~10 years ago. It might be a change.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I used quotation marks around words in my experience that would be unintelligible as what they were. The words with quotation marks are the best translation for what they actually were.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience The nature of the accident definitely cause amnesia. When the accident happened, my mom flew out to where I was, and when I woke up (don't remember the first wake up) I'm told that I'd always be surprised to see her (like, Mom how'd you get here so fast? when she'd been there for weeks). My amnesia has been clearing up (like a lighthouse in the dark and what the light illuminates I then remember from then on, but I don't know what I forgot), so my memory for about 6 months before the accident is spotty. Before 6 months it's pretty accurate. Like, I well remember visiting a friend's house for Thanksgiving and watching a specific show, how her house was decorated, and meeting her sister. So, this event I remember it as accurately as what I can remember. It feels like a dream now though, but I remember it as well as what we'd define as major life events.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? It was the finding myself to be myself, and how it was done to the people I recognized. I heavily credit my mom as the person I was looking for, but my friends were the tangential confirmations that I found the me I was looking for.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared what happened pretty quickly with my mom while I was in the hospital (what else is there to talk about) and it was about a month after I woke up when the psychiatrist gave me the advice to hold both beginnings in two hands as separate but equally true truths.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had a general awareness that people can have them, and I know that people take DMT. I've never died before, and I've never drank ayahuasca or consumed DMT at all before the event occurred.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real To me, it occurred. I wasn't sure if my soul was the same soul to take control of me as the one that was in control when I died. Still not. It was enough of a dramatic shock I needed some psychological advice for what to make of myself. It worked, still does.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably not real It feels like a dream today. A well-remembered, dream, but a dream.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? This questionnaire helped me process the experience. You asked questions that would never have occurred to me, and it helped.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? None that I can think of.