Fawn R Probable NDE

Experience Description

In a drunken stupor, I was lying on the floor. I was barely conscious and recognized that I had stopped breathing. As my brain was no longer functioning correctly, I was unable to send the 'breathe' message to my body to get it to take the next breath. At that time, I made a conscious decision to let go and die. Upon making the decision, I briefly saw colored static, felt vibration, and then I was in the black void.

I became my thoughts and memories floating in a black void. I had no body. I could think and had memories of my life. I was completely and frighteningly alone. There was no sound and time did not exist. Snapshots of my life floated by but they had lost all their meaning to me. I had to let all emotional attachment go from the individual people and memories, but I had a general feeling of being incredibly sad and very much alone. At one point, I wondered how long I had been in the void. I could have been floating there for 1000 years or maybe it was 3 minutes, but it seemed to me for about a 1000 years.

When I woke up in the morning, I didn't just wake up. I was aware of my consciousness rushing at light speed, back into my body and I woke with a start. My first thought was astonishment to be alive and to have left the void. I couldn't believe it. I was shocked and I felt terrified.

I was disoriented thinking, 'What happened? What happened? What happened? Where am I? What was that? Is that it? Am I supposed to understand something from it?'

The aloneness was so sad it was painful.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 12-01-2017

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Drug or medication overdose. Alcohol Overdose. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function)

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely distressing

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? No. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness. My level of consciousness did not appear to change.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was stunned to be conscious for all of it.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. Time did not exist.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision was normal.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing was normal, but there wasn't anything to hear. The Void has absolutely no sound.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an Unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place I was in the black Void.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt Sad, Detached, and Alone

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

The experience included: Life Review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No. I had memory of my life, but it became very unimportant. I could have started looking through each memory for another 1000 years, but it didn't hold any interest for me.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other faiths- Unitarian and other liberal faiths

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain I don't know what I'm going to do, but atheism is no longer a valid selection.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Unknown

What is your religion now? Other faiths- Unitarian and other liberal faiths

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes There is actually an afterlife.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain Yes, I believe that I went back to where I came from. I know more from this experience, but I am not able to fully articulate it yet.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably does not exist

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God probably exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes When I died, I only took my thoughts and my memories of my life with me. It would be good if they were nice thoughts and nice memories that give us a sense of love and fulfillment. Living a 'good' life is not about an outside morality code. You need that goodness, and Happiness to take with you.

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife does not exist

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I have always believed that death was just like going to sleep. I thought when our brain stopped everything about us stopped also. But this experience showed me that my thoughts and memories, (a core me - if you will), goes on.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death

Do you fear death after your experience? I moderately fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Unknown

Did you believe that our earthly lives Are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain. In the Void, my life was just a collection of thoughts and memories. The emotional charge that I get from positive/negative events in my life didn't exist or have any meaning for me anymore.

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain No. But the extreme aloneness that I experienced showed me how important, special and beautiful my human connections are that I get to have while I live.

Were you compassionate after your experience? Unknown

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Unknown I'm still working this out.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I am still unable to fully explain in words. I have just started with key words and built from there. Void, Black, Alone, Floating, Thoughts, Memories, Detachment, Sad

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I got up and told my son immediately. I told my husband and several friends later in the day.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I'm still in that period and there is already parts of me that start to say that maybe I somehow made this all up. Maybe...but I did not.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No