Filiesha L Probable NDE

Experience Description:

TRUTH SEEKER.

This document was written in 1992 by Filiesha at Honolulu Community College. The assignment was to write about ourselves as an identity label. The accident happened on March 14, 1994. (Dr. Jeff note: other information provided indicates the accident actually happened March 14, 1984).

Whether consciously we realize or not, I believe everyone in the universe is a truth Seeker? It is not an identity label for a select few. What is meant by truth Not until approximately two years after my life time assignment was sent to me (and I might add in a most unusual and illuminating way) did I finally accidentally stumble on the key word truth, I found it in an old beat-up book sold to me at a swap meet for a quarter. I thought it was about fishing since the title was The Big Fisherman. Yikes! I was wrong. The book was about to be tossed, when the phrase, Jesus says, 'I am Truth,' jumped out and grabbed me, sending a chill down my spine. My search had begun. I didn't know at that time how powerful and enlightening one little word could be. What is truth?

Can you imagine floating and hovering weightless over what is supposed to be you? The feeling of detachment and repulsiveness were overbearing. Did I actually have to go back into that body? Well-being that I'm still here, the answer was undeniably 'Yes.' Truth, the reason I must return, was communicated to me like lightning and thunder. When the recovery room nurse did her wake-up call, all I saw brightly lit, flashing in my mind was the word truth. Can you imagine that? I had been given a label for life, truth Seeker? I now consider it a very special gift of Grace.

After my surgery, I began to piece all the events together. I realized a great two-by-four had literally hit me over the heard, changing the direction of my life 180 degrees. I still did not realize the full impact of the two-by-four, though, until a couple of years down the road.

I was riding my bike to work early one morning, not knowing the drastic change that was about to occur. Up until then, I was happy with my life; after all, I was doing everything I loved to do. My home was on a ranch in the middle of a crater, where almost every day I was either working or playing with horses. I was also a diving instructor and part-time Oceanarium show diver. Whew! I was going a hundred miles an hour, with not a minute to spare, not even for myself. CRASH!! My whole world just shattered around me. I lay sprawled on the ground, my bike all mangled and a truck almost on top of me. Recovering consciousness in the ambulance, I knew my head and face had gotten the worst of it.

In the hospital, on the surgery table, is where my fascinating, indescribable journey began. The doctors had to reset and wire together fractured bones in the left temple area and under my eye. The nurse, thinking I was asleep from the general anesthesia, jammed a tube down my throat. I remember not being able to breath, panicking, knowing that the nurse was too slow. Red lights were flashing all around. The next instant I was floating over the surgery lamp watching and listening to the doctors and nurses. It was fascinating to see their change in character, when they thought the patient could not hear.

I don't know how long I was floating above my body, or how I was actually transferred to another dimension. I did know that I was now Home, my (out) Real home. The nature of this Reality is so completely different; there is no language adequate to express the emotions and surroundings. Time and language, as we know them, don't exist there. Love and compassion are the only words I can think of, and they barely scratch the surface of what I felt and perceived around me. The vibration feelings are so strong and yet totally incomprehensible at our physical (or perceptual) level. It was a perfectly normal feeling not to be in a physical body. The real I AM is a Spiritual Being. The Spiritual eyes that surrounded and seemed to be a part of me were filled with an overwhelming Love and Awareness. I know without a doubt that I was where I belonged for Eternity. We are all a part of the same whole Family. We are as ONE, like a drop of water in the mighty ocean. But, alas, this drop had to go back for some unfinished business.

Where I went to next can only be described as a Huge Black Hole. It was totally empty black space, void of any type of vibration consciousness. Total lifelessness and an unbelievable sadness surrounded me. The powerful perception I received was that we, everyone on Earth, was needed desperately to fill this empty void. Not one single solitary soul was to be left behind. In order to get there we all must learn Love, Compassion and Forgiveness toward one another. We must all leave our sinful nature of unawareness. Then, the seemingly never ending spiral towards Home or heaven will be completed and we will all finally graduate from our Earth schooling.

I received many messages; some of them are cloudy in my memory. Their expression of the word FEAR is one that remains very clear, though. Fear is a very negative and totally unnecessary emotion that destroys our Eternal growth and life.

Transported back to our dimension, I traveled through the galaxies, Milky Way, stars and planets on my way back to Earth. I seemed much bigger than the stars and planets, and within me, I held all the power and knowledge of the Universe. Earth looked so tiny, like a grain of sand against all the vast sands of the world.

Suddenly I was back as an etheric soul looking down at my body of flesh, with total detachment. I felt claustrophobic knowing I had to be trapped in the physical reality once again. Soothingly, my Guides helped me transform back into my body and left me with a key, truth. Instantly, I was awakened by the nurse.

My mixed emotions kept me bottled-up about my experience for several years. The twenty-five cent book was the key clue to this big puzzle. After reading The Big Fisherman, I was starved for more material to read. The Bible was next on my list. Every time the word truth popped up, a surge of excitement would bolt through me, leaving me with Goosebumps. I still get zapped, even though I've read hundreds of books.

Religion was not introduced much to me as a child, nor did I have any interest in it as an adult. That's probably why some time passed by before I was able to connect truth to my experience. My beliefs about Life, Religion and God have changed drastically. Church was not exactly my idea of a good time. To me, church attendees were all a bunch of weak kneed, denominational hypocrites, who follow like sheep worshipping a manmade god. My feelings have now been reversed, similar to those of Saul? When he changed to Paul (Bible). I am beginning to see now, that we are all striving upward to Heaven, God and the Light. We are not all at the same level of awareness therefore each of us has our own path to follow. Some organizations have different beliefs from others, differences that throughout history have caused fear, ending up in destruction and war.

Enlightenment and awareness are expressed in many different ways, but these are all headed in the same direction. No matter what name you give it, when you are ready, somehow the doors will be opened and the veil lifted. And sometimes, as is the case with Love, it may happen when you least expect it.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 3/14/1984

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Accident Surgery-related Direct head injury 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening' possible accident and cessation of respiration during anesthesia. I had what was called a tripod fracture of the left temporal area. The bones had healed together incorrectly; therefore, surgery to re-break the bones and set them correctly took place. I remember feeling very panicky as the anesthesia was being administered. I remember the distinct feeling of not being able to breathe as the nurse was shoving a tube down my throat. I remember flashing red lights flashing and then I was out of my body.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I had within me all the insights and knowledge. I perceived myself as being much greater this universe. (Again, as will happen throughout this questionnaire, I cannot find the words to convey what I truly was or knew.)

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Not sure what is meant by highest level of consciousness and alertness. Do you mean in this physical reality? If so, it would have to be when I was headed back to earth. (Not in the dimension, I call home.) This is where I perceived myself to be larger than this physical universe and all knowing.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Neither

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Neither Space and time did not exist.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more so

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision was different depending on 'where' I was. When I left my body and was floating above it my vision was normal and totally different than when I was at HOME, where things can only be explained as vibration, not physical. However, I did perceive etheric eyes of compassion all around me - actually, I think I was a part of them. (There were no boundaries.) But again, nothing physical - and very difficult to explain. When I read what I have written I know that it is not an accurate description, but it is the best I can do.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Words were not used to communicate. Hearing is a physical thing.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Neither

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I don't remember passing through anything before I came HOME. I do remember traveling back and that is when I passed the black void and passed through the universe (stars).

Did you see any beings in your experience? Neither

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain They were not beings in the sense of human beings or any personalities from earth that I knew. There were two clearly different forms of beings (and maybe even more). At HOME they were a type of essences. However, I knew or was a part of them. When I was back at my body, it seemed like I had guides or other etheric beings with me. We communicated but not through words. The only word that transpired between us was 'TRUTH'.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain A type of light that is not like any light we know of here. So - I don't even know if I can call it light.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Clearly mystical or unearthly realm see above #8

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Very mixed emotions. Fascinated: when I first left my body and was hovering over the surgery table. Totally blissful and complete: when I was HOME. Very sad: when I experience the black void. Repulsed: when I saw the body I had to enter back into.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? Neither

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? Neither Learned that we are much more than human beings. We are not alone no matter how much we feel alone here. Not to fear. I needed to come back for 'TRUTH'. That key word most definitely changed my life.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Neither

Did you come to a border or point of no return? A barrier I was not permitted to cross; or 'sent back' to life involuntarily

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal none

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I read the Bible and have come very close with Jesus. His truth and spirit fills me with a very real sense of peace and joy. Jesus is also a wonderful teacher.

What is your religion now? Moderate follower of Jesus Christ but no denomination. have attended several churches

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I read the Bible and have come very close with Jesus. His truth and spirit fills me with a very real sense of peace and joy. Jesus is also a wonderful teacher.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? Definite being, or voice clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? Neither

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes We must learn compassion, love, and forgiveness towards one another. We are all needed back home, none of us are to be lost. I had to come back for 'TRUTH'. Fear must not control your life. We are not alone. We control our destiny. Our thoughts and prayers are very powerful and our perception becomes our reality. Life is a gift beyond comprehension.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I view people much different. I also feel somewhat of an outsider and I don't get as excited about the social experiences. I care less about what people think about me and more about what message they need to hear. I don't really have much 'relationships' with people anymore. I enjoy being out in nature and my aloneness. Of course, I work at keeping my life balanced. I also can feel people's happiness and sadness much more acutely. I cry very easily and feel others pain and sorrow. I am especially sensitive to animals and love to be around them.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes You cannot put into words something that is not of this reality. Words cannot barely begin to touch what was sensed and what took place at what I can only describe as HOME.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have taken Reiki and other healing courses. I have had the experience of being used to heal others.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The whole experience was especially meaningful and significant. However, I feel that I have been given a key to unlock something. That key is one little word 'truth' that has come to encompass so much. I really feel that I have my homework cut out for me. I feel very blessed, but also I always have this haunting feeling I should be doing so much more. I guess I have to learn patience and know that things are happening the way they are supposed to.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Eight years before I finally wrote about it. I think I tried to verbally tell a couple of friends but felt frustrated. I felt too defensive and unable to explain correctly what happened. I also understood how people felt that it was probably a dream, brain damage, trauma, etc., and that I would never be able to convey to them that this is not reality nor who we really are.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real The experience is as real today as it was right after it happened. My life and relationships with people will never be the way it was before.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real See above.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes, I could go on and on but I won't.