François D STE

Experience Description

I was feeling deep despair caused by an incurable disease that was diagnosed by the doctors. It seemed to me that I had no chance to live a normal and pleasant life, filled with happiness and joy. I was desperate. My despair was so deep that every night I prayed to God to take me. I hoped never to wake up again. At the time, I thought that death was permanent and I didn't believe in life after death.

I used to live in a small studio on the ground floor in Paris. I was living from social aids and wasn't able to work because of my disease. The medical treatment was extremely tiring. Despite brilliant studies at the university and the beginning of a doctorate about a great French writer, I passed my time to wandering through the city, visiting some friends and being unable to find a meaning to existence. So it happened that I walked for hours in the city. I was trying to wear out my last vital energy and hoping every night that God would put an end to my existence. I don't know if I died on that evening, but before going to bed I was in an extreme state of physical and mental fatigue. My pulse seemed to be hanging by a thread. So, in bed I said my usual prayer. “Please God, call me back to you.”as I fell into a deep sleep.

On waking the next morning, I opened my eyes looked at my room. I felt extreme well-being, and very full of light. I realized that I was about one meter above my body. All around myself an unbelievable light was shining; white and very luminous, like a fluid. My body consisted of white, very strong light. Surrounding my light-body, there were magnificent white flowers. They smelled so wonderful, that I couldn't explore their scents completely. It was as if they was bouquets of lilies all around my body and they were also eminating light. I felt light and it was not a dream, my room was as I knew it, perfectly real around myself and behind the curtains morning dawned.

I understood that I wasn't in my body but hanging slightly above it. I felt alive and very light, happy and perfectly at ease. I had no fear, but knew that my physical heart might have stopped and that life was continuing outside of the body. Everything was so soft, so light; and so good and pleasant.

I sensed a presence at my right. This presence wasn't really distinct from me. It was a perfect, loving, sweet and pleasant, nice and sensitive part of myself. It was like an intimate companion knowing me from time immemorial, and yet was also myself. This presence that I thought was Jesus, was whispering something into my ear that I don't remember exactly. I was something like, “You/we have to go back now to the physical body, as I love you and everything is well.” Then I remember thinking, “I'm coming back.” I agreed to come back to my physical body.

My return to the physical body was so gentle and so simple. It was like a river gliding gently down into its bed. I remember that I laid down in my physical body, so tenderly, so gently and pleasantly. I was again back in my physical body when the echo of my sentence, 'I'm coming back' called for a follow-up, something like a goal about existence. Coming back why? I had been so happy and so calm. Then I remember saying, this time with my mouth in my physical body. “To love the world.” Such was my assignment. Then, I looked at my room, everything around me seemed calm and serene. Everything was as I left it the evening before, but there was an atmosphere of indescribable peace and simplicity. I saw that I was well awake and a choice came to me. I could go back to sleep to keep this experience deep down, or I could get out of bed and try to understand it. I decided that everything was ok, that what I came to experience was a gift. I looked at my room, slightly illuminated by the morning sun, and closed my eyes and went to sleep in perfect peace.

I experienced several strange experiences since, but this one remains engraved in my memory. It seems to me that I was resurrected on that morning by the grace of God. I keep in mind this sensation of peace and perfect well-being, that I try to find and/or to recreate as soon as I can by prayer or meditation, or simply by coming back towards my heart. I take very seriously my new 'mission' to love the world. As it seems to me that that's what we are here for - to learn to love.

Even though other experiences happened in my life (of which one was quite amazing), I keep this first experience as a proof of life after death and that we shouldn't worry at all. We are known, loved, supported and guided. We are loved so much, in such a gracious and gentle way, without any setbacks or suffering. If only we knew how much we are loved, and especially with this very subtle and strong quality, like the infinite scent of the flowers, like a gentle and perfect breeze. We are loved in all our details, in our tiniest aspects and everything in us that loves is called to exist for ever. Of this I'm convinced today.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 2017

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes physical exhaustion. I was physically exhausted, my pulse seemed to be hanging by a thread.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness Same state of consciousness, without any pain/ suffering.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was waking up I was out of my body, but my lucidity was the same as during a normal awakening.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning There was no time anymore, everything was actually suspended, like my body of light above my physical body. Nothing was moving, but usually nothing ever moved in my room. I seemed to be outside of time (difficult to explain).

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Completely clear, almost too precise ( I'm short sighted and I saw clearly).

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No physical noise at all, but a message came to me, what I would call emotional or sensitive.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes My body was surrounded by light and was also this light, and my physical body was below me completely normal. I saw flowers of living light all around my new 'body'.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Lightness, calm, serenity, well-being, amazement, simplicity.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? No comment At the time, I strongly believed in God but have not been affiliated with a religious institution.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain They changed with time but not immediately after the experience

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian Given the presence of Jesus Christ during my experiences and my dreams, I consider myself a Christian and my belief in Jesus became stronger since those experiences.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Even though I had a vague idea/belief in God, I thought that death of the body was final and that it indicated my complete disappearance, as well as my consciousness. I never had been hearing of OBEs or NDEs nor the survival of the spirit/consciousness apart from the body.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I found faith, I reconsidered the notion of God and Love and today this is what is the most important for me. I want to learn to love others and myself better, more accurately, until I'm leaving. I believe in a stronger way in Jesus, I believe in angels and spirits, I'm surrounding myself with good spirits/angels through prayers and acts of faith.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I sensed a presence directly at my right - my angel? Jesus? I believed it was Jesus, and this gentle presence that was so calm and compassionate, whispered something like: “you have got to come back now”.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes I'm not a 100% sure, (but nearly), that the presence at my right was Christlike - so tender and gentle, like a perfect classmate knowing and helping me totally, filled with compassion and love. I'm sure that this presence was also made of light.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes When I found myself surrounded by light I actually saw my luminous body and the flowers all around and I actually detected a being on my right, but it was very clear that despite their distinct existences we (the luminous body, the flowers and the loving being) were made of the same light, in this way we were united, in the end like the same being within different manifestations.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes It's important to love the world as much as possible, only love will subsist. What you have been loving will be magnified in the other world.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes It seemed to me that only love was important, as if only love was carrying the whole universe, and also our world.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes My physical body was below my luminous body, like sleeping, while I was awake and could see the surrounding light, those flowers and this loving presence. Therefore, I concluded that my spirit/my consciousness continued after death.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes It seemed to me that what my spirit conceived did manifest in front of myself under a luminous form - those flowers, this presence, were like representations made of light and love, of forms that I always cherished in the past and during my experience. My own love manifested in front of myself, seemingly emanating from my body and being one with it/me in those particular forms (I hope that this is comprehensible...).

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I was light and the light was love. The flowers were love and the presence was the same infinite love, perfect, intelligent and remarkably good and serene.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I grasped that life is precious because it is the product of love. It's very simple. That life and love are infinite/indestructible/eternal and that we are made of this.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience This memory is today much sharper and more precise than my whole life at the time, and it happened several years ago - and lasted probably but a few seconds in world time.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes When I now open this 'window' I can see the silhouettes of luminous spirits around myself or other persons; I'm conversing easier with my ''guardian/angel/Jesus"

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The whole experience

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Several years ago. Response was skeptical or even mocking, and even fierce. Today I hesitate to talk again about.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I was considering it as a perfect memory of my real life, like a source memory. I never doubted it's reality (or very little).

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Everything around was normal, except this light although at the moment everything what happened, in the normal and usual frame of my room, seemed to be in the natural order of things - perfect and beautiful, almost as if a wish came true before me, without being shocked in the least.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It's a tether for my memory and a source of unchanging comfort until today.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? There are a few repetitions but it's a pleasure to share this experience within an open environment.