Franciose R NDE

Experience Description

I was not living a spiritual life and I had never experienced anything spiritual.

I am a very good swimmer, but am small and slight. I knew that I had no control over the kayak and would overturn during the lesson. But, I went against my gut instincts that day. I fell behind the instructor and my boyfriend on the river. Then as I went over a small weir, the kayak flipped. I was suspended upside down, underwater and beneath it. I barely attempted to flip the kayak over, but knew it was useless. I knew that I would not be noticed by the guys ahead for a while, so I tried the rubber seal. It wouldn't budge. I remember wriggling so hard that my helmet was banging on the overturned kayak. I fought frantically for a minute or so.

Then it all went quiet. I stopped moving completely and felt total peace. I heard a small voice say that it was fine, that I would die and that is ok. I felt a lot better than ok. I felt an Incredible joy and peace that filled me. I remember a beautiful void, like an underwater tunnel, that was around me and quickly filling with bright rays of light. I was surrounded by flecks of golden, sparkling light like dust motes. It was the most serene and happiest I had ever been. I could also hear that little voice counting back from 5 and it felt indescribably good. I had willingly let go.

Then I was flipped over, and I came back to my body. I think the guys were both surprised that I wasn't angry or upset with them for leaving me alone for that long. I was deeply saddened to be back, so I walked away and said nothing.

Following that experience, I lost all fear of death. I never felt the need to question the afterlife, or to think on what that might be. The experience did not make met spiritually aware either because I still had a lot of psychological trauma to get over. In 2014, I had a mental breakdown. The counsellor recommended meditation, which changed my life. This led to some amazing experiences, regular Buddhist meditation at our local center, a complete change of career, a business of my own, continual self-development, and a peaceful confidence that I cannot put in words without sounding ridiculous. I now happily learn theosophy, Buddhism, and even Catholicism when my heart and soul tell me there is something worth learning. And there certainly is learning hidden therein.

I recently remembered that as a child I used to have many psychic experiences. I was able to foretell small happenings, wish situations into being simply through intention, see the spirits of beloved pets before finding out they had passed away. I remembered seeing my grandma's body a day after she died. I was not saddened by her death and was feeling guilty, so I sneaked into the mortuary and then I understood why. It wasn't her. It seemed incredible that that body was what had contained her on earth. A couple of years later my other grandma was dying. I was there could see that she was focused on something behind me or next to me. She was speaking to her mother. When these visions would happen, she was disturbed that physical people were still around her and she was still alive.

Now I have clients who come to me with fairly standard psychological issues. In the privacy of the clinic room, I hear many similar experiences from patients who have never told anyone else because they were afraid of being labeled as crazy.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 12.08.2003

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening. I was trying kayaking, when the kayak overturned. I was unable to flip back up and the rubber seal around the kayak would not come off. I was underwater for about 20 minutes until the instructor noticed and I was brought up.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. There was no fear, no thoughts, no worries, and no physical sensations. I existed as a flowing Being of light and joy without limits.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It was short lived, so I was conscious pretty much throughout the experience

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual. Time didn't come into it.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was perceiving without the experience of seeing through physical eyes.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Again, it was a perception rather than hearing with ears.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain. An underwater passage of sorts.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes. Beams of glowing light and golden, sparkling flecks floating around me.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place. Apart from the underwater tunnel, nothing was clear.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Indescribable joy and peace. A total sense of belonging, but knowing it as the very fabric of being rather than feeling it in the human, bodily sense.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated. I was brought up as strict Roman Catholic in a 100% Roman Catholic society. This felt wrong, so I distanced myself from organized religion.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths. I would say I am Spiritual rather than religious. I believe that at some point religions were spiritual and if read honestly with one's heart they are still full of spiritual insight. However one needs to be independently minded and not drawn in by the ego running most religious organizations.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain. It was a long time after the experience that larger changes happened. They probably would not be happening without it.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify. It was a quiet, peaceful voice telling me it was ok and counting down from 5.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes The death was a wonderful thing, leading to love and perfection.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes It was an innate perception.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists. It was unquestioned and obvious. Again a total perceived knowing.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes At the time I understood it to mean that after earthly life, comes love.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I never tried to express it in words or think about it.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably not real. I ignored it.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes. Meditation