Greg N NDE-Like

Experience Description

This happened to me back in 2003 and I still remember this as vividly as the day it happened.

On the night in question, I went to bed, it being like any other ordinary night. I remember 'waking up' as it were; only to find myself in complete darkness which I call the Void. This was no dream because I just knew it was real. My senses worked perfectly and I had complete clarity of thought. It was more real than my sitting here and typing this.

The feeling I had was of complete contentedness and an overwhelming peace. I tried to peer through the darkness, but no matter how much I strained to look in any direction, it was completely impenetrable. After I gave up trying to see something, I just stared around in wonder. Then a thought popped into my head, 'Oh...I must be dead..... Oh well....' I was rather nonchalant about it.

I sat there for between moments and minutes, I really couldn't tell. Time didn't seem to exist. All was silent and I was actually quite content to sit there forever. I was very curious about my new situation and thought nothing odd about being there. I had no sense of even having a body. I just 'Was.' There was no temperature, no sound, and no nothing. I couldn't move even if I wanted too. I didn't know how, and even if I did, there was nowhere to go.

After a few moments of this., I thought to myself, 'Where's God in all this?'

At the very moment I thought that, a pinprick of bright, golden light suddenly appeared on my right side, far off in the distance. At first I wasn't sure what I was seeing, then the light vanished after a split second and suddenly reappeared. This time, it was a tiny bit closer. It kept doing this; vanishing and getting closer and closer with each appearance. Each time it did this, there was a strange sound, like a far off thunderclap. Only it wasn't thunder; I can't really describe it. Right after the first two or three pulses, the thought came to mind, 'Ooh, That must be the tunnel! God is at the end of that; I have to concentrate on it or I might be stuck here forever!' So I intently concentrated. I also had the odd thought 'Don't think of anything bad!!!' I was worried that I would slip up and do that in front of him. Now that I've thought about it; it was kind of silly for me to say that to myself since he knows everything already.

Once the light engulfed me completely, I flew through the tunnel. It was quite fast at first, then I wondered if I could slow it down. So I thought, 'Slower', then 'Faster.' As I thought this, it happened. As an aside, the walls of the tunnel were streaked with blue 'rays' when I would look at it. Mostly, I was looking up, if you can call it that. When I looked up, It looked like I was inside a pitch black tornado. The walls twisted around themselves as I moved through it until I saw a super bright pinprick of light appear at the end. This kept getting brighter and brighter until I finally reached the top of it the tunnel.

I recall stopping at the top of the tunnel and floating towards an open opening or portal. A strange feeling came over me that told me that I had arrived. Behind me was the top of the tunnel. In front of me was a demarcation point consisting of a bright blue sky with swirling white clouds around it. In the very center, I saw a massive ball of light of indescribable brightness. I knew immediately this was God.

Although I'm using words like 'in front', and 'behind', they are really meaningless as my vision had expanded to 360 degrees. I would look behind me to focus on the mouth of the tunnel, which was swirling and darker than even the blackness surrounding it. I was acutely aware of that; however I wasn't actually turning my head to look at this since I didn't have a head, much less a body. I had a simultaneous view of all angles. I was also more aware of myself than when I was in the void. I now perceived myself as a puffball of energy, although I was completely formless.

I felt completely drawn to Him. I felt such longing to be with him that I wanted to merge immediately. This time I could move with a mere effort of will. Wherever I wanted to go, I would instantly be there.

The problem was that when I tried to approach God, I was immediately blocked by an unseen force. I can't even describe the way I was stopped. I didn't bump into any force, wall, or anything. I would just be firmly, but gently halted right where the beginning of the blue sky started.

I was neither disappointed nor angry, just intensely curious.

After trying to get through the barrier twice more and failing, I noticed the very tall silhouette of a man entering my field of vision from my right side and taking a place between God and myself. He was unmistakably Jesus.

With later reflection, I wonder if it was either my guide or God presenting that form to me to give me something with a human aspect to grasp onto that I would be comfortable with. I was reared with a Catholic background, so this makes sense to me. He had no features, but was filled with an amazing deep-blue radiance. It was a very captivating sight, but I still wanted merge with the light. I even remember being slightly put off that he was blocking my vision of the light and thinking that if he would just move over a bit, then I could see the brightness again.

He apparently heard me, because he moved over just enough to give me a quick glimpse. Then he moved back again. I tried four more times to zoom directly through him and directly into the blue sky. The same barrier blocked me at every attempt. There was no way I was going to be allowed to pass. I can only assume it wasn't my time. I finally gave up and backed off enough to sit there and have a staring contest with him, with neither of us addressing the other. The only thought that kept coming into my mind was, 'I wonder why he's not saying anything?'

I just sat there waiting for him to say something. It never happened. Regardless of this, I was still overwhelmed with peace and super-curious as to everything going on.

I never felt any infinite love nor knowledge being transferred to me in any way. I guess that wasn't on the menu.

After about a minute of this staring contest, I found myself backing away from the light and towards the top of the tunnel. I tried to stay but it was clear that I was being gently directed back towards the tunnel, whether I liked it or not. Before I realized it I was rocketing back down the tunnel at the same speed as before. The light grew smaller and smaller until only a crack of it remained. I tried to keep it in my field of vision but it vanished after that. After I reached the bottom of the tunnel, I ended up being dumped into a normal, earthly dream.

After I woke up, I found the aspects of my regular dream to be fading quickly as I would expect. My journey to God, on the other hand, left me with complete recollection. There is not one detail that I cannot remember even to this day.

After thinking about it, I assume I was in the Void for the purpose of giving me the choice to either ask for God, or to return to the world. It occurs to me now that whichever scenario I picked would have been honored.


Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 2003

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. OOB Experience while asleep. Other sleep state

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal.There was a clarity to my thoughts and feelings. I can't really describe it better than to say that it was an amazing experience to just 'be', rather than being in the body. It was extremely freeing to be lighter than air.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was at the height of consciousness during the entire experience. It was more real than my sitting here typing this right now.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. There was no time, nor any concept of time. Everything that was happening was in the present moment with no future and no past. The present just 'is', for the lack of any qualifying term. There really is no way to describe the infinite now other than to say it just 'is'.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I found that my sight worked amazingly well, I had 360-degree vision and was crystal clear. I wear bifocals now. During my experience, my vision was amazingly better. Everything I saw had a clarity that we just don't get here on earth. My vision seemed to extend forever. I had the feeling when I was in the void, that even though I couldn't see anything, I was also seeing infinitely in the process.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing was enhanced to the point where I was 'hearing' the colors streaking by my on the walls of the tunnel. That's the best way I can describe it. I could also hear the clouds and wind beyond the portal. My everyday hearing is average. But I can in no way 'hear' colors in my body.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The tunnel would best be described at first as a pinprick of light that appeared then vanished repeatedly while I was in the void. Each time the light vanished, it got progressively closer until it engulfed me completely. It only showed itself to me after I asked the question 'Where is God in all this?' They say that love is the key to leaving the void. This confirmed it to be true. At this point, I found myself inside the tunnel, rocketing upwards and toward a point of light off in the distance. The walls of the tunnel were streaked with blue colors which I could hear while passing by me at an incredible rate of speed. Looking up revealed the tunnel walls to be twisting around themselves , I felt no fear or danger. There was no way I was going to bump into the walls accidently or otherwise.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The only way I can describe God was as a massive light that was brighter than all the light in the universe put together and times infinity. In comparison, in the body and trying to stare at the sun for more than a second or two is an incredibly painful experience. Here, I didn't want to stop looking at him. He is EXTREMELY easy on the eyes. Words really fail here. The brightness is just beyond any explanation.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt complete with a calmness and a peace that I've never experienced or known before or since. I also had an intense curiosity and a carefree attitude about everything that was happening. I was completely at ease with the idea of being dead. It felt like Earth was the alien environment and that I was truly home.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. Though I did not receive any infinite knowledge, I finally understood what 'I am' means, in the most intimate way. That simple phrase sums up all existence. I've been trying to recapture that feeling to no avail since then. We are all one and interconnected through him. What hurts one of us, hurts us all. When we help others, we help ourselves and him.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will. I not only hit a marshmallow barrier when I tried to cross the portal to the sky beyond, but I was also sent back against my will, much to my disappointment. When it came time, I found myself backing away from them and headed back to the top of the tunnel to begin my journey back to my body. There was nothing I could do about it, no matter how hard I tried. The ability to move of my own accord had been overridden. If they hadn't done this, I would never have returned of my own accord and would have gladly spent eternity there.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic I was just a garden variety Catholic who didn't (and still doesn't) take any religion very seriously.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am far more spiritual than before and try to reach out to God daily through meditation. I am no longer religious.

What is your religion now? Buddhist. I'm primarily an Agnostic, but Buddhism and meditation tends to fit with being a more spiritual person than I was previously.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I had always had the idea before my experience that God was more of a man who was dressed in a robe sitting on a throne in some antiseptic corner of the cosmos and ruling with a scepter. When I saw him as he really is, it gave me complete clarity. He just 'is' as are we. The image of the man on the throne that was completely made up in my mind was completely wrong. We are made in his image, though not of a bipedal human being that most people envision. We are all of spirit.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I now know for certain God exists and that earth is nothing more than a tough school designed to teach us through the life of 'hard knocks'.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. I encountered not only the light, but also the silhouette of what I believed at the time to be Christ. I was a Catholic back then, so it would make sense that God would be projecting the form of a concept that I would be comfortable with. This Being was over 100 feet tall compared to me, and was a deep blue color. There were no features. Yet, I instantly knew it was him. I tend to shy away from religion, yet I cannot deny what I saw. To this day, I'm convinced it was him in a form I would find comforting.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes As per my previous comment, I perceived Christ as a silhouette with a deep-blue radiance within. He had his own illumination.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes Even though I had a Catholic upbringing that had been drilled into me as a kid whether I liked it or not, I still had no real proof that God existed at all except by what I felt was wishful thinking by myself. This new awareness changed everything.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes It was revealed to me in no uncertain terms that we are all a part of the 'I am.' That which is, we are of. We are all interconnected in the most intimate way. Unfortunately, we cannot perceive this in our earthly bodies. Hence, we are all at odds with each other. If your average person had the same experience as those of us who have seen 'him', there would be no wars, hatred, hunger, etc.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I encountered the creator directly and felt my oneness with him. It doesn't get much more personal than this. I can only describe him as 'I am' is 'here.' Keep in mind that my recollection is no longer from a religious standpoint as I may have percieved at the time. Even remembering it after nearly 17 years I have perfect recollection of even the smallest details and I still feel the same about the experience now as I did then, save for an enhanced perspective where I've had sufficient time to process the experience.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists Encountering God himself is the ultimate awareness of life after death. We do NOT die. Only our bodies do. We are NOT our bodies. We are spirits clothed in a physical-self so that we can interact with this three-dimensional plane. I was outside of the boundaries of our three dimensional existence and knew it with absolute certainty.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Earth is a school. It's for us to learn our lessons before we return. When we 'die' then school is out. I realized this as I was being forced back down through the tunnel and unfortunately knew I was not going to be allowed to stay. It was not my time.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I seem to have an effect on electrical equipment. Lights tend to flicker. Sometimes I hear the hum of electronics, even when they're off. Television screens and computer monitors will occasionally blank out and come back on for seemingly no reason. Twice the TV has turned on merely by my entering the room. I am less sensitive to pharmaceuticals since the experience. Medicines that worked for me before now don't. My intuition has become far more developed than before the experience. Before, logic ruled my actions. Now, I follow my gut instinct.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I'm more compassionate and caring than I was before. Our relationship has grown in the intervening years.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. There is not one detail that I cannot recall to this day regarding this experience. Anything else that happened during that time period, I can't tell you the first thing about. Most of the time I couldn't even tell you what I had for breakfast yesterday.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I seem to have an effect on electrical devices. Lights flicker regularly, occasionally hearing the hum of electrical current in devices when they are off, etc. I have massively increased intuition and gut feelings. Animals are more drawn to me.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared the experience with my wife years later. Fortunately, she accepted it at face value without thinking I was completely crazy. However, she was not influenced by it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It was more real to me than existing here, day in and day out. Everything was hyper-real. It's the only way to describe it.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. The fact that to this day I am able to remember every single detail without fail and experiences since then have confirmed for me the reality of the experience.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I've had two instances where I've made contact with my guides. They are experiences within themselves that were also more real than being in this body.