Gregory B STE

Experience Description

During the summer following my junior year of high school, I went on my family's usual three week vacation in northern Wisconsin. We stayed at a cabin on a hundred acres of private forest which encompassed two small lakes. I made a habit of sleeping in my tent while my two brothers and my sister slept in the cabin along with my parents. Such isolation proved to be an excellent opportunity to further my spiritual practice, which continued to focus on transcendental meditation. I would sit formally while concentrating on repeating my mantra (sacred sound or word) or just repeat it wherever I went. I could have easily engaged in this repetition 6-8 hours a day.

After the three weeks were over, my older brother Chris and I headed for home on what would be a 300 mile drive on highway 45 to Waukegan, Illinois. Chris was driving as we had taken a separate car of our own on the trip. This allowed me to passively watch the landscape go by. It was during this time I was suddenly seized by the fact that I WAS LEAVING NOW. There was absolutely no question about it. I had the feeling that I was rising or going vertical. I immediately saw my life in review and all that was important to me. As each item would arise, I would let it go because I was LEAVING. I watched everything pass including my home, my friends and family. My last attachment was that I would bring harm to my brother who was driving for he would have to explain my sudden and complete disappearance. I also had to let that go.

I do not know how much time passed. I left the old mind and bodily sensations though not the location as a passenger in the vehicle. Awareness beyond comprehension arose. I could see the world without the eyes of man. Everything looked both large and small at the same time. Houses for example, looked smaller than trees; but the trees looked like small hairs on the 'face of the earth'. The world was a vibrating force of energy. Crystalline particles of energy pervaded and connected all things. Life was a joyous dance of pure energy singing from every cell or atom. The elation was overwhelming and I laughed with joy with every sensation.

I began to realize that I had not really perceived anything before; only each things' relative nature. The words and thoughts and names that applied to individual objects before had no application here. I simply saw things as they were in their being. I tried to put together a thought but I could not. I had the distinct impression of trying to formulate a thought in front of me over the hood of the car. It was like trying to split the brain into two halves and then join them together again. It could not be done. I then remembered the body.

I looked down and noticed the body was in some type of shock. There was a giant knot of pain in my abdomen and many of my muscles were trembling. I fell into fear. I begged God to stop the revelations because I thought the body could not take any more energy. I vowed to return when I was better prepared. My wish was granted and I was left with a peaceful self-assurance that death was not an ending.

I would not mention this experience to anyone for three years; not even my brother Chris. However, it changed the focus of my spiritual practice and gave it new direction. I found a book on my father's bookshelf titled Cosmic Consciousness by Richard M. Bucke. It described many individuals who could see the world from a larger perspective commonly called enlightenment. These were happy, creative individuals who radiated love and truth. Surely this is what I wanted to be; fearless of death, permanently blissful, enjoying profound insights into the simplest things, infinitely above blinding desires. I began buying many more books written by enlightened individuals who offered various techniques for awakening, and whose experience matched my vision on Highway 45 in northern Wisconsin.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: July 10, 1978

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. After weeks of intense meditation Other Started to leave my body

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I observed the landscape around me and the car. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I went from an individual state of consciousness and knowing to some type of cosmic perception that perceived from an absolute reference of understanding.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? After I had let go of everything I knew or was attached to and accepted that I was permanently leaving. I was in an altered state of bliss consciousness and perception.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. I do not know how long my experience lasted.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was ordinary awareness as a limited self or ego. A type of limited knowing which was not knowing anything at all.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was like music.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Everything was shiny and sparkly with pulsating energy.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The ordinary world became extraordinary. Alive.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Pure bliss and then anxiety and pain when I could feel the body again.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe My mind had been transformed into seeing from an absolute frame of reference. Unlimited understanding. I saw how I had seen things from the reference of identifying with a human body. From this reference point what was called tall was relative to the size of a human body.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic I was engaged in an intense daily practice of Transcendental Meditation.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I keep growing and changing and seeing things differently. Constant flowing and changing.

What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age I have been studying many and various teachers of Spiritual Enlightenment since the age of 16. Some of the teachers are: Jesus Christ, J. Krishnamurti, Thomas Merton, Ramana Maharishi, Alan Watts, Dr. David R. Hawkins, Adyashanti, Eckhart Tolle, Ken Wilber and Buddha.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I experienced that everything was made of a God substance; even the air. My human mind did not see things as they were in Truth.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I will never die. I can see things differently.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I perceived a sparkling energy that pervaded all things and connected them.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I was seeing things how God sees them and not man.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes I knew I was leaving but I also knew I was not dying.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life It began a lifelong dedication to spiritual growth and volunteer work as a spiritual counselor. I understood and could relate to other person's spiritual experiences.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I love and care for people particularly through my volunteer spiritual counseling.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The experience was so profound and beyond the usual I had no words for it at the time. It was also so sacred that I dare not share it with anyone because it might be not be understood or questioned.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of th The experience and vision has stayed with me ever since and I cannot forget it.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Empathy. Caring for others. Ability to relate to others personal experiences. Periods of psychic abilities of all kinds. Awareness of other worlds and dimensions. Being in other dimensions. Duplicating others awareness and pains in my body. Spiritual counseling. Understanding others differences at valid.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The size of anything was hilarious. is it large? Is it small? Who knows?

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I first shared it with my spiritual advisor in the Catholic seminary three years later. He loved it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I felt like I was seeing things for the first time.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It has always felt like Truth Awareness.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I have been subject to altered states of perception ever since. They come and go. It is like I became open to them.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I think a lot of people that are afraid of sharing would quit sharing due to the length of the questions and type of questions.