Harry P STE

Experience Description

August 28, 2023

On the morning of Oct. 2, 2022, while sick with Covid-19, I had a beautiful encounter with an angelic being while asleep. She was not a winged angel from the Bible, not a dream figment, but an actual, real angel that visited me through a dream and gave me a profound message. I am now convinced that angels exist - outside our physical realm and they can communicate with us.

I am 67 years of age as of this writing. I’m not particularly religious, but I have childhood roots growing up as a Lutheran. I believe in a cosmic god force, but not in a god with human characteristics that has time for each of us individually. I do believe in a soul which comprises our being, and that 'heaven' is within one’s own mind; and when we die, our dreamworld becomes our heaven. Until now, I dreaded the thought of my own eventual death, though I realize we all must pass. I have never believed in angels (in the biblical sense), and I have doubted their reported presence in peoples’ personal lives – until my experience. It makes me re-examine my thoughts about the 'afterlife'.

I have been a vivid technicolor dreamer all my life and dream in full color with all physical senses active. I have experienced lucid dreams, wet dreams, and nightmares (I have learned how to control most of them). While sleeping with the Covid-19 virus during the am hours of Sunday, Oct. 2, I had the most profound spiritual experience of my lifetime, that went far beyond the usual dream state. The vividness of this dream was accompanied by crystal clarity, as though I was fully awake. While this started out as a typical dream, it took a dramatic turn into, well, it’s impossible to explain in human terms, but supernatural is accurate. Jumping ahead here, upon awakening from my dream and heading to my breakfast, I suddenly became quite nauseous, about to pass out, and my wife helped me take my blood pressure which was a dangerous 69/41 (pulse 46). Short of rushing to the hospital, we left a message with our doctor and in the meanwhile found a quick remedy (salt water) to bring the pressure back up. My doctor called and advised if the blood pressure did not go back up, to immediately get to the ER. He later told me the low-pressure reading was life threatening. My suspicion is that I was briefly near death in my sleep that morning due to a dangerous drop in blood pressure, quite possibly much lower than the measured reading. I immediately documented details of this dream so I never forget the details, many of which are profoundly symbolic.

My dream started as a normal dream, this time with several people in a dark living room. I was lying in a bed in this room, just outside a kitchen entrance and a girl was preparing food for me. I might have been sick in the dream as well. She came to sit on the bed with me and fed me something. After that, she parted with some information to me but I do not recall the conversation. For that brief time, we shared a deeply spiritual, loving bond that I cannot now explain with words. I then recall that she touched my hand and said she has to leave but would return for me some day. These words were very clear and I can still hear those words echoing in my head. Then she left the room - and I went into distress over her leaving. A friend from my past appeared and informed me that he will 'send me pictures and updates of her whereabouts in the future'.

Not accepting her departure, I got out of the bed to try to follow her and suddenly found myself standing on the lower interior deck of a very crowded ferry boat, standing room only. Looking out the window, I saw we were approaching land at night and the entire port was active with hundreds of flashing blue rescue vehicle lights. Something big was happening. They appeared to be awaiting arrival of the ferry that I was on. I looked around the ferry for my lady friend, and in the crowd, I saw her leaning against a post. Her head was cocked against the post, her eyes were closed, and she had the look of exhaustion. I pushed through the crowd and approached her, and she looked surprised to see me as though not expecting me to find her. I immediately noticed that three men [biblical symbolism of trilogy?] were accompanying her, sitting next to where she was standing. They were apparently some sort of accompaniment or bodyguards for her protection and were each eyeing me intently. I asked her why she left and then spoke to her, and she moved around the post out of view of the three men, and as she looked at me, she projected a penetrating sense of intense love toward me. Love that I could feel as a physical sensation.

This is where it got really strange and she revealed herself as an angel.

We spoke for a few more moments. She then said 'You should not be here'. Then she touched my arm and said it’s not my time and that she would be back for me some day. These words are now engrained in my memory. I reached out to embrace her and though she backed off slightly, we embraced. In our embrace, I could feel an intense amount of love inside her. She was the embodiment of love. She looked up at me and out of compulsion I kissed her lovingly. She was not expecting that, and in her surprise, she looked back at me, and everything around us suddenly turned into a bright glowing fog and nothing else existed. That kiss unleashed something in the angel. [Oddly I noticed her face became wet as though it was raining!] She hugged me very tightly and said 'hold me'. In that embrace, I was suddenly overcome by a beautiful, powerful, overwhelming spiritual rush or explosion of pure love and peace emanating from her into me. It was a feeling of boundless, devoted love. It was initially focused into my chest, akin to an orgasm but infinitely more intense and beautiful, intense beyond description (and now beyond my memory’s ability to recall that sensation), but this was felt deep into my very soul! It felt as though our souls merged. It is impossible to describe the intensity and beauty of this experience; words cannot describe it. This feeling was out of the bounds of normal human comprehension, even within a dream. I made a direct, intimate, spiritual connection with an angelic being in my sleep. I was experiencing the love of an angel! The rush lasted a few moments and then we were pushed apart by the crowd lunging toward the exit of the boat, and I could feel the spiritual connection between us stretching and then breaking - like a rubber band snapping; but I recall feeling a small piece of her soul remained attached inside me. I lost her in the crowd, though I could still see that she wanted to remain connected spiritually before we lost each other.

The dream actually continued a bit. The boat started unloading passengers and a guard at the port tried to stop the crowd and shouted that we should not be there. Another woman, with brilliant silver hair and a sparkling white gown at the front of the crowd flashed some kind of pass at him and he opened a huge rusty metal gate and waved the crowd through. I did not pass through the gate but found myself off to the side. I then found myself walking off into an incredibly beautiful field in brilliant, blinding sunlight, somehow thinking my angel might be there. I was frantically trying to find her but the field was empty. Then I awakened.

This dream experience has had an extremely profound effect on me, and I might say it was the most profound spiritual encounter of my life. For the following days, I could not clear my mind of this experience, even as the residual effect on me slowly faded. I could still, for weeks, feel a part of her spiritually attached inside me. An odd feeling in my chest like I have never felt. [I had an EKG done a short while earlier and all was normal.] I actually wept several times (in private) that I was not able to remain with her in that spiritual connection. I was ready to remain with her without hesitation. In the following weeks, I missed this angelic girl more deeply than I’ve ever missed anyone, by far, even the passing of my parents. I still miss her and wish she would return in a dream. I tear up as I write this because I miss her so much, and tear up every time I reread this. Whenever I think of this encounter, I start to tear up. She was my guardian angel or spiritual guide and she made contact.

Going about my daily business at home and around town the following weeks, I suddenly felt out of place in this world. Nothing seemed the same. I felt a complete absence of spirituality in the environment; everything was empty and superficial. Weeks later, I can still 'feel' that piece of her soul in my mid-section. I now know that she awaits me on 'the other side' someday, and I now have absolutely no fear of death, and will anxiously welcome that day!

In retrospect:

My personal belief is that the angelic girl is my spirit guide to whatever lies beyond physical death. The fact that she mentioned twice that she would be back for me someday indicates to me that she will be waiting for me when I pass. I might have come close to dying with a bout of dangerously low blood pressure in my sleep, but it was not my time. Thus, I suspect I had a near-death experience in my sleep. I consulted with an online expert on this, at the University of Virginia (who wrote a book on near-death) and he agreed that I had many elements of a near-death experience.

Interestingly, this angelic being had no angel wings. Her outfit was a soft papery black blouse and pants, perhaps navy blue. I could tell this when I embraced her. Her face, with medium/short length wavy black hair, is etched into my memory. Her eyes were beautiful, penetrating. Her gaze was powerful, she could see into me. Over the following day, her face was ingrained into my mind and I could see her image so clearly that it was a distraction while driving. For weeks, I could still see her face in my mind right in front of me.

What is interesting about this encounter is that the feeling of 'love' took on a powerful, physical characteristic. One normally does not feel love emanating from another person. The physical sensation of love in my dream was intensely beautiful, powerful, and went beyond what any human can comprehend or describe in words. Angelic love is beyond the abilities of the imagination. My soul, my very existence, was momentarily consumed by this love, while I was briefly one with the angel.

The ferry boat ride to the rusty gate at the port is symbolic of a transport of souls to the ‘pearly’ gate. I was on it but did not pass through that gate.

Addendum:

She came back(!) to visit in a dream and give me another profound message.

Several weeks later, in late November, I had another unusual dream experience, but nothing compared to the first encounter. I dreamt that I was sitting in a dark pub with family and some friends. There was loud music and much noise. My wife got up to get something to drink. At that moment, while I was sitting at the table (looking forward) all of a sudden everything (time) froze, and there was deafening silence and the world was in black and white and shades of gray. The dream was on hold. Somebody to my left bumped me and as I turned to look, it was my angel sitting right next to me. She reached over and touched my upper abdomen, smiled, and said 'you have a piece of me in you'. She then said 'I am always by your side. I will never leave you'. After she said that, I momentarily looked away and then she was gone. The dream suddenly returned to normal; color, sound and time resumed. Then I woke up.

How strange to have a dream like that, with such profound meaning and following up my earlier 'dream'. I woke up, more assured that my angel friend is always close by, at least in spirit. The fact that, in the first dream, we were forced apart by the ferry boat crowd lunging toward the exit, and I felt a piece of our spiritual connection break off inside me; then to experience this second dream with her returning to tell me I have a piece of her inside me. How does a sleeping mind comprehend this? This is not normal, even in a dream. This tells me there is more to the 'other side', and more of a link to the afterlife than we understand. I am convinced that our dreams are a peek, a window view, a connection to that other side – our afterlife. And we can receive dream messages from that 'other side'.

When my time comes to pass, I know that I am comfortable with the prospect of death, and will again be embraced by this angel. She will guide me to the afterlife. I belong to her, because a part of her is in me.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 10/02/2022

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Illness Other Possible dangerous drop in blood pressure while asleep during Covid-19 illness. During my experience with the angelic being, my blood pressure may have reached a dangerously low level while sick with Covid-19. Details in my narrative.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal The feeling of angelic love was beyond anything I ever felt or even imagined. It was a feeling of cosmic love, godlike.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The ferry boat ride - as though I was awake. I was beyond human consciousness when the angel and I embraced and she showed me angelic love.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning The second dream, in November, was unusual in that my dream was briefly frozen. That has never happened in any of my vivid dreams. Time and sound all stopped, with the exception of the angel giving me a profound message.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Nothing compares.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Normal hearing. I could hear the angel's words so clearly that I can still hear them now when I think of it.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes The ferry boat ride carried what I believe were deceased souls. None known to me.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes After I kissed the angel, the world around us disappeared and we were within a brilliant white fog.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The feeling of love and peace placed me into a blinding white fog. Unearthly for sure.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first, I felt distress after she left during the first part of my dream. During the second part, it was love on a cosmic level. Interestingly, at peak intensity, I recall feeling peace like never before, but it actually originated from a point above my right shoulder. A focal point of peace that consumed me with the love coming from the angel. Hard to describe but the peace originated from that point.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I did not make a decision to return to life. But keeping in mind the angel's declaration ‘You should not be here’ and ‘It's not your time’, I did not pass through the gate. I found myself off to the side, in a beautiful field before waking up.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant No longer actively practicing religion, though aligned with a local bible church. Have read Bible twice.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain Not sure what lies beyond the point of no return. It is obviously a beautiful experience.

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths Bible church.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience The dream was entirely symbolic. Rather than going through a tunnel to a pearly gate, it was a ferry boat ride(!!) to a rusty gate at the port. In all respects, it as a symbolic dream but with crystal clarity (feeling awake).

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes That there is something beyond physical death. It will be a beautiful experience.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I conversed with the angel. While I could not recall most of our conversation, I could clearly recall her saying ‘You should not be here’ and then ‘It's not your time. I'll be back for you some day’. Then she said ‘Hold me’ as the feeling of love consumed me. These words were so clear, I can still hear them in my head.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes That our dream world is a peek, a connection to what lies beyond physical life.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes I trust my angel's word that she would return for me some day (when I pass). There must be something beyond, where she will take me.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes The feeling of love was a powerful physical force emanating from the angel into me. It was intense beyond description or comprehension.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life No longer afraid of physical death. I am accepting of it, when it happens.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The feeling of love was beyond description. It was a powerful physical sensation that consumed me. When I remember this dream almost nightly, it is impossible to recall that feeling. The best I can describe is an orgasm of my soul or consciousness but infinitely more intense.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience The experience was powerfully spiritual and eclipsed all other experiences I've had during my entire life. Though I only interacted with the angel briefly, I miss her more than anything in my entire life. It changed my outlook of physical death.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The fact that the angel gave me such a profound message, that it is not my time yet. When I eventually pass, I expect that she will be waiting for me, to guide me to whatever lies beyond.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Shared with two others. One did not respond but the other responded that angel spirits helped him make decisions in life.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I have read and heard many accounts of NDE's but my experience was nothing like those. No floating above my body, no winged angels, no tunnel, no Jesus, no city of light.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real The experience occurred with crystal clarity, as though I was awake. The angel's message to me was very profound. I could also see her face during my waking hours - a clear mental image of her face. It was actually a distraction while driving for a few days.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It appears that our dream state is a window to our afterlife. Angelic beings can communicate with us through our dreams.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I am curious why the angel was accompanied by three men. The count of three reminds me of biblical triology. My impression was that they were bodyguards. They reminded me of agents from a James Bond movie. One in particular was staring at me intently.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No. Covered it all.