Experience Description

My near death experience happened after I gave birth to my third son. After giving birth to my son the nurse and doctor could not remove the placenta and manual extraction was required. Before I went into the operating room, the anesthesiologist gave me nitroglycerin under my tongue.

In the operating room, I was given general anesthesia and the two combined caused me to have an adverse reaction. I remember being wheeled into the operating room on the gurney and thinking to myself how sterile and cold the operating room looked. It didn't look how I imagined it would. It was all stainless steel and very small. As the anesthesiologist was placing the mask on my face to administer the anesthesia, my only thought was that I needed to stay awake.

The next thing I remember is waking up in the most beautiful warm, golden white light. I was bathed in it. The warmth I felt was indescribable. I remember when I was little staying at my grandma and grandpa's house. When I slept over at their house, I always slept the most soundly and peacefully. I felt safe, warm and secure. The light and warmth felt like that only a million times more wonderful. I felt like I was wrapped in Angel wings. I had no physical body I just was. I was surrounded by loved ones and other beings, they felt like angels and saints. I couldn't see them but I sensed they were there surrounding me.

I kept receiving three messages telepathically. I kept hearing that I was unconditionally loved, that things are always the way that they are supposed to be and that everything would always be all right. I knew that my husband, family, friends and my babies would be okay. I knew that they would always be okay. I knew that if I didn't go back everything would be fine that everything was always the way it was supposed to be. The love, peace, contentment, happiness and unconditional love I felt were indescribable. I felt like I was home. They are no words or emotions to articulate what I was feeling and experiencing. The next thing I remember was the doctor angrily telling me to wake up. His voice was stern and loud. I remember feeling cold and irritated with the doctor. Once I was back in my body and fully awake I was angry - I wanted to go back home. The next morning in the recovery room, I told my ex-husband about the experience and he rolled his eyes. I decided in that moment not to say anything about what happened to me. A hospital administrator came into my room that afternoon looking official in his suit and tie carrying his clipboard; he introduced himself and asked me if I remembered anything. I told him no, he took some notes, told me thank you and left. I had a new baby and two other little boys to take care of and love. I was happy but at the same time, I was sad and angry because I wanted to go back. I wasn't given the option to stay or come back and I wanted to go home. I felt guilty but knew that everything was exactly the way it was should be and went on with my life. It wasn't until nine years later and many major life changes that I realized how profound and special my experience was. It was a gift from God.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 05/29/2004

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related. Childbirth. While under general anesthesia Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening. After giving birth to my son the nurse and doctor could not remove the placenta and manual extraction was required. Before I went into the operating room, the anesthesiologist gave me nitroglycerin under my tongue. In the operating room I was given general anesthesia and the two combined caused me to have an adverse reaction.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal When I was bathed in the warm golden light and surrounded by my loved ones, angels and saints. When I had no physical body and just was. I had complete understanding that we/our soul lives on that we are all one. We are all connected with each other and are unconditional love. Everything is always the way it's supposed to be.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time lost all meaning.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was more vivid, colorful, and alive - again the light I was seeing and sensing was/is indescribable.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard everything telepathically not by spoken words. The thoughts would pop into my mind. As soon as I had a question - actually while I was forming the question in my head - the answer would be there.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I saw and was bathed in a warm, golden white light. I was a part of the light.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I woke up in the most beautiful warm, golden white light. I was bathed in it. The warmth I felt was indescribable. I remember when I was little staying at my grandma and grandpa's house. When I slept over at their house, I always slept the most soundly and peacefully. I felt safe, warm and secure. The light and warmth felt like that only a million times more wonderful. I felt like I was wrapped in Angel wings. I had no physical body I just was. I was surrounded by loved ones and other beings, they felt like angels and saints.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt warmth, contentment, peace, happiness and unconditional love.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I had complete understanding that we/our soul lives on that we are all one. We are all connected with each other and are unconditional love. Everything is always the way it's supposed to be. We will always be alright, we are unconditionally loved and we are never alone.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

The experience included: Awareness of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:


What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am on a spiritual path. I'm trying to live as my authentic self and speak my truth. I love meditation and surround myself with positive, like-minded people.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age I am a Spiritualist.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I believed in God but at times I would lose faith. I also struggled with organized religion and if the devil really existed. I believed in "heaven".

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I grew as a person and my beliefs changed. I do not believe in the devil or organized religion. We do not cease to exist after death - we do shed our physical bodies but our being/soul goes 'home'.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I was surrounded by loved ones and other beings, they felt like angels and saints. I couldn't see them but I sensed they were there surrounding me. I kept receiving three messages telepathically: I kept hearing that I was unconditionally loved, that things are always the way that they are supposed to be and that everything would always be alright.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I was surrounded by loved ones and other beings, they felt like angels & saints. I couldn't see them but I sensed they were there surrounding me. I kept receiving three messages telepathically: I kept hearing that I was unconditionally loved, that th

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain I was surrounded by loved ones and other beings, they felt like angels & saints. I couldn't see them but I sensed they were there surrounding me. I kept receiving three messages telepathically: I kept hearing that I was unconditionally loved, that thi

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I was surrounded by loved ones and other beings, they felt like angels & saints. I couldn't see them but I sensed they were there surrounding me. I kept receiving three messages telepathically: I kept hearing that I was unconditionally loved, that thi

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably existsÂ

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I was surrounded by loved ones and other beings, they felt like angels & saints. I couldn't see them but I sensed they were there surrounding me. I kept receiving three messages telepathically: I kept hearing that I was unconditionally loved, that things are always they way that they are supposed to be and that everything would always be alright. I had complete understanding that we/our soul lives on that we are all one. We are all connected with each other and are unconditional love. Everything is always the way it's supposed to be. We will always be alright, we are unconditionally loved and we are never alone.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:


During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I had complete understanding that we/our soul lives on that we are all one. We are all connected with each other and are unconditional love. Everything is always the way it's supposed to be. We will always be alright, we are unconditionally loved and we are never alone.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I was surrounded by loved ones and other beings, they felt like angels & saints. I couldn't see them but I sensed they were there surrounding me. I kept receiving three messages telepathically: I kept hearing that I was unconditionally loved, that thi

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably existsÂ

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I had complete understanding that we/our soul lives on that we are all one. We are all connected with each other and are unconditional love. Everything is always the way it's supposed to be. We will always be alright, we are unconditionally loved and w

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain I know that when I had a question I received the answer immediately but all I remember are the three messages that I kept hearing over and over again. We are all unconditionally loved, that things are always they way that they are supposed to be and that everything will always be alright.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I was surrounded by loved ones and other beings, they felt like angels & saints. I couldn't see them but I sensed they were there surrounding me. I kept receiving three messages telepathically: I kept hearing that I was unconditionally loved, that thi

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I was surrounded by loved ones and other beings, they felt like angels & saints. I couldn't see them but I sensed they were there surrounding me. I kept receiving three messages telepathically: I kept hearing that I was unconditionally loved, that thi

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Large changes in my life. I grew as a person and my beliefs changed. I realized that I deserve to be loved fully and that I need to be true to myself. I need to speak my truth and live authentically. I feel my life purpose is to help people.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes As a result of my personal growth and beliefs I did get a divorce. I try to see the good in everyone. Don't get me wrong, I'm not friends with everyone. If someone is not good for me, I chose not to be around them.

After the NDE:


Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The experience is/was indescribable. They are no words or emotions to express what I was feeling or experiencing.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I can remember my near death experience vividly, more so than when I actually gave birth to my son.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have always been an empath but didn't know what that meant until a few years ago. I also just 'know' things. I believe in energy healing as I can physically see the white light shining down from heaven/God and I can physically feel the light/energy working in my body.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I had complete understanding that we/our soul lives on that we are all one. We are all connected with each other and are unconditional love. Everything is always the way it's supposed to be. We will always be alright, we are unconditionally loved and we are never alone.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It was nine years before I shared the experience with anyone besides my children. Reactions are very positive and I do feel that sharing my experience has helped.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I 'knew' it was real. I had no doubts that what I experienced was real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I recently questioned why it happened to me but that was a fleeting moment. I know we are given what we need. Again, I know the experience was real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes When my mom passed away. When I'm feeling down, I remember my experience and know that I'm never alone. I know that I'm unconditionally loved. When I mediate I can vividly remember the experience as well.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? My NDE was/is beautifully profound, beautiful and real.