Holly P NDE

Experience Description

After separating from my husband and experiencing a reoccurrence of my painful, undiagnosed illness, I fell into a deep depression. I took a fatal amount of my medication and within half an hour, I was gone.

I slipped in and out of consciousness and was no longer in pain; in fact, I felt a sense of relief. I was pulled from my body, not swiftly, but rather slowly and entered what can best be described as cold, heavy darkness. I was drifting there in this indefinable place for an unknown length of time, aware that I was somewhere else, no longer bound to my body. There was no fear, but a sense of calm. The darkness felt like a pervading weight holding me there and I wondered if this was where I was meant to stay and began to feel restless, as though I didn’t intend to linger, this was not where I belonged.

Then a flood of light enveloped me and I had the sense of being pulled up and transitioning somewhere else. It was very bright, and I entered a field. Vivid green grass and blue sky, all of it rendered with such ethereal brightness, yet it was the feeling while there that is indescribable. Pure love, contentment and complete acceptance. This was home, I wanted to stay. I was at peace. But for whatever reason, I was sent back, it was not my time.

I descended to the limited perspective of my body and overheard all that happened when I was found clinically dead; cold and not breathing. When I was resuscitated, I recall a profound sense of loss. It took days before I felt like I’d completely returned and adjusted to what feels like another life. I can’t articulate how I am now compared to how I was before I died. While I still experience bouts of depression due to witnessing much suffering that happens in this world, I recall the love I felt and I have no fear or anxiety. The unknown illness I had for six years also completely disappeared, a miracle, much like my return, as I had no side effects or organ damage despite the large amount of medication I took.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 3/5/2017

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt. Drug or medication overdose. CPR given Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) Intentional medication overdose that was fatal.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I felt as if I were experiencing a multitude of emotions and thoughts that became too vast to take in.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? While I was in the field and after I left it.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time had no meaning, it felt very limited.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Within the field, everything was sharper and perceived in a very altered and expansive way. It was beyond my limited perspective and very dream-like.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything I overheard from when I was found to when I was resuscitated in hospital seemed detached and distant.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain There was darkness, whether there was a tunnel or not, I can't recall.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I think there were two beings with me - my grandad and a beloved pet, it's still very vague.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Very bright and beautiful. I felt safe within it.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm A heavenly field, very bright and warm.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love, not that any words feel like enough to describe it! It was heavenly.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I understood myself very deeply, but it's hard to explain. I learned much more than I can remember now.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have a strong spiritual belief, and I know I'm not confined to a physical body. There is much more beyond what we perceive.

What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I never believed in an afterlife or religion of any kind, so to experience that was incomprehensible.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I fully believe we exist after death and there is a greater being/God. We are all souls inhabiting a physical body.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin There was something indefinable there, I have trouble recalling it but maybe I'm not meant to.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain I felt aware of something there, but it's hard to describe.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain I know there's much more than I can comprehend but maybe I'm not meant to remember.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain I had a strong feeling I was returning for a reason, but don't know what it is.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists Yes An afterlife without a doubt exists.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I did have the sense I would no longer suffer physically upon returning, and that everything would be okay.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes To live with love, I remember that very strongly.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I experience a sense of peace I never had before. I feel a very strong love that can be overwhelming at times, and I'm much more sensitive. I don't fear death, but am concerned about leaving those I love behind.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I became closer to some of my family, and drifted away from others. I no longer talk to my ex-husband.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I can explain what happened, but as for describing the feelings, it's difficult.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can sense certain people and know dates/times I'll hear from them. Because of this I also don't open up to many people.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes The day after it happened, I shared some details with a few family members, but they seemed reluctant to believe it. A month later I told my lover, and he was accepting and intrigued by it. I haven't told anyone else as they'll probably freak out about it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Shortly after it happened, I felt very dissociated from being back and felt a huge sense of loss. I never doubted that it wasn't real, it was far too complex and vivid not to be.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It happened, and it was amazing, yet I know I will return there when it's time to. Recalling it brings peace and love when I need it.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No