Ildiko SL NDE-like

Experience Description

I carried my child several weeks post-term, so labor was induced. At first they only gave me homeopathic substances, then they gave me an intravenous oxytocin solution.

After 30 hours of labor, my cervix had not opened at all. The child was in distress according to cardiotocography, and I was totally exhausted.

Since I was shaking uncontrollably, I was put under general anesthesia so that the baby could be delivered via caesarian section.

I awoke in a wonderful setting, filled with light and warmth. I felt as light as a feather and totally free.

All I could think was that I'd made it, I'm free, and the pain has stopped. I felt safe and loved. I wanted to stay here and linger like this forever. I've never felt so good in my entire life. I was jubilant and thought, 'So this is what it's like to be free.'

But then I heard a female voice. It explained to me very lovingly, but also very decisively, that I could go no farther. It told me I had to turn back, because my task was not yet completed. I have a responsibility that has to be met. I knew that she was talking about my baby. At this moment, I knew a lot of work would still be awaiting me.

All of a sudden, I was very sad that I couldn't stay. I regarded it as unfair to ask me to suffer further.

But then I got very tired, heavy, and fell asleep.

Then I heard the doctor calling to me to open my eyes. I was in my body, and my newborn child was next to me.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1/23/2002

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Childbirth While under general anesthesia. Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening. I was in labor for more than 30 hours, but my cervix was still closed and couldn't dilate. I received oxytocin intravenously for more than 10 hours. The child was in distress according to cardiotocography.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Sixteen years later I can still remember it perfectly. I felt as though my consciousness was enormous and could understand anything I wanted to.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I realized that the light isn't just warmth, but also love. And when the voice spoke to me.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. I felt as though where I was, time was irrelevant.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I didn't have any unusual visual experiences.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard the voice, but somehow not through my ears, but with my heart.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was bright white, but not like the sun. I didn't have any problems seeing the light. Normally my eyes are hypersensitive and I can't keep them open during bright sunshine. But the amazing glow here was very pleasant.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Bliss, being loved, being free, perfect peace.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. I became aware of my task of why I'm here.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. While I'd already done meditation and yoga for many years and knew about unusual experiences, I thought I would experience such things during mediation. When I went to the hospital, I expected to have a child. I was focused on my body, the baby, and giving birth. I had previously undergone operations that proceeded in a completely unspectacular manner.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I became much more mature and responsible. I try to understand other people and not to judge them when possible.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify I heard a voice I could not identify. It was a Female voice. I couldn't identify it. It was soft and loving, but also very decisive. It explained to me that I could go no further. I had to turn back, because my task was not yet completed.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I was told that my life henceforth had a purpose, that I had to take responsibility for another being, and that this task had to be completed.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I came back knowing that my only task is to give as much love as possible to other beings (mainly to my child).

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists. I knew for a fact that I was free 'there' and that I no longer needed to be concerned with my body.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I became aware that love is unlimited, it permeates everything.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my lif. I accept responsibility. Before, I tried to avoid responsibility.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I'm more sympathetic and caring than before.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I can no longer remember anything about the first days with my child in the hospital, but what happened during the caesarian section is still as clear as things that occurred yesterday.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? When I'm discouraged or sad, I think about the unlimited love I experienced 'there' and try to reactivate the feelings I experienced 'there.'

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes With my husband, my mother, and my child. I've read about NDEs but was very skeptical about them. My experience was so intense to me that it's irrelevant what other people think about it. It will always act as a source of strength for me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I heard about it in my yoga group. I don't think that knowledge about NDE influenced me, because there was no need to reflect on death. It was a birth.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Because it had had a lot to do with emotions. It changed my consciousness, my life, and my behavior.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. After 16 years, I can remember it better than things that happened to me a week ago.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No