Irene H Possible NDE

Experience Description

I have not really had a near-death experience. Everything was dark because I was deeply sedated by an overdose of a drug which I had taken. What has later influenced me is the change I have been experiencing. Before my attempted suicide, I was a shy youngster who had, among other things, suffered heavy depressions and had been hospitalized several times. After a prolonged hospitalization and dialysis, I woke up in a private ward of a psychiatric hospital.

I emerged as a changed being. It has often astonished me. I rejected further treatment and went to the countryside and worked on a farm, and slowly a transformation took place. The next many years I was like a mental atomic bomb and full of life with many projects that I took on without hesitation or fear. Since then I have been obsessed with learning, reading, and research. My life quickly became involved in helping others to express themselves. Although I did not have an actual education, I became a guide and role model for children, young people and adults. I insisted that it was necessary to follow the path of life. I am a pianist and I have often been able to play without a score for hours.

Since my suicide attempt, I constantly have been meeting death in the shape of traffic accidents. One accident especially stands out in my memory. On a dark highway, I tried to revive a young girl who had been killed. I could feel her right above me. Unfortunately she stayed dead, in spite of my attempt. Next day there was a book accidentally exhibited in the window of a tiny local bookstore. It was Moody's, 'The life after life.' My life continues to be influenced by the fact, that I without knowing how, that death was not an end, but a transition. I have often felt that somebody was looking out for me. Maybe it cannot be categorized as a near death experience, but I am convinced that I have been sent back with another attitude towards life and with an instruction to learn.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: marts 1969

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drug or medication overdose. Life threatening event, but not clinical death. I tried to kill myself at the age of 22. I took an overdose of medicine. I spent approximately 48 hours in in the dark. I slowly regained consciouness with my entire family gathered around my bed. Nobody thought that I would survive. This took a while because my kidneys had stopped functioning. I sank into darkness until I was put in dialysis.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No No

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was sedated - saw nothing.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I had no vision.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I had nothing hearing.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt nothing because I was deeply unconscious.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated. I grew up in a Jehovah's Witness environment but was strongly opposed to dogmatic religion at a young age.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes From being directly opposed to religion, I began looking for answers in religion and philosophy. I started to understand when I read about near death experiences and how they transformed people. Slowly it occured to me what life was actually about.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant. I regard the Protestant Christian church as a natural place for my religiosity, but I am far from agreeing with all their teachings.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have become keenly aware that I myself am responsible for my development. Ever since my attempted suicide, I never thought about it as a possibility since that time. It is completely out of the question.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I changed from a timid and depressed youngster to a glad and energetic person, full of initiative. I was possesed by a wish to learn and have since then been reading eagerly, especially non-fiction and the like.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes. Today I cannot deal with violent, aggressive and unfeeling people. It is also difficult for me to be around people that do not focus on the spiritual side of life.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes. Even today it is difficult for me to explain the change that overtook me. It is also difficult for me to understand it. Before and after are two completely different things.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events as I cannot recount anything except the marked change that came over me after some dark days in sedated/unconscious condition.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I experienced an ability to improvise, especially in music. Each time, I felt that all I had to do was to open up and then it would come by itself.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Not really. But the next 40-50 years of my life became a long energetic process which I still enjoy.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. The person that was hospitalized because of a suicide attempt and the person that left the hospital were two different people.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I have always known that this meeting with death changed me.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes a traffic accident, where I tried to revive a young girl. Apart from that, there have been several situations where I have felt that there was somebody with me who was helping me. I have thanked them many times.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I do not describe an actual near death experience. But I think that the changes one is experiencing without being able to remember anything specific, nevertheless are astonishing. I might just as well have sunk into a yet deeper depression, but I came out of this experience with renewed energy and later on, with lots of smiles and laughter.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Maybe also give a place to people like me, that have a darkness, some lost days and nights that I do not know anything about, which has nevertheless become a landmark in my life.