Jacob J Probable NDE

Experience Description

My experience occurred about 8 months ago.

I was a functional opiate addict, using drugs ranging from pharmaceutical painkillers, all the way to illicit fentanyl. Over the course of three years, I had never overdosed, except for the last time I used fentanyl.

It was about 95F degrees on a sunny June day. I did it in my parked car outside of my apartment because my girlfriend was unaware that I was using. I wanted to avoid her finding out at all costs; especially because she had found her mother dead from an overdose at a very young age and was hyper-sensitive to opiate use. I was in my car, cutting up a pill and crushing it so I could measure out a line that was approximate to the ones I normally snorted. I snorted the line; sat there for a moment and put everything away.

Suddenly, everything went dark. I felt a complete absence of matter, time, and any other objective measure of existence. I was floating in a black void. I could not think. I had no concept of self or space. There were no conscious thoughts going through my brain. I just intuitively knew that I was dead, or at least somewhere between death and life.

It didn't feel I was sleeping or like being unconscious from an injury. Going to sleep or getting knocked unconscious has a timeline that I can attach myself to in order to understand what I am experiencing. Here, I was somehow aware that I was stuck in a void, but not in a way where I could have an internal monologue such as lamenting over how I had gotten myself here. Time was irrelevant, all my thoughts and memories were gone. My concept of language, or understanding of anything was gone. The only thing that I could tangibly sense, one way or another, was an acute sense of peace. I wasn't thinking about my family mourning me back on Earth, or my regrets and missed opportunities. It was the most nothing-nothingness that can experience.

It is hard to describe this in words. I don't think the English language, maybe even any language, can explain what it's like to be in that void. As humans, we create a roadmap of our reality based off of time, our five senses, our ability to rationalize and feel emotion, our memories, our aspirations, and this holding vessel my soul was stored in was absent of all of that. The ONLY thing that existed there was peace. The best way I can explain what it was like there is by asking someone, 'How did it feel before you were born?'

I existed in this void for a while. It could have been 2 seconds; it could have been 2,000 years. The ability to calculate time is impossible. Suddenly, noises started to fade in from the distance. Just as fast as I had left this plane of existence, I was rocketed back into it. It's like someone turned on an old CRT TV; it started as as tiny white dot of light in the center, and instantly expanded the entirety of my 'vision.' Although, I can't really call it 'vision' because I didn't have bodily senses like on earth. I was sucked back into my body, accompanied by a quick dull thud of pain.

I later learned that I was unconscious in my car for about 45 minutes before my girlfriend had come to check on what I was doing, and found me slumped over and unresponsive. The painful thud was my torso smacking the ground as she desperately yanked me out of the car, trying tod resuscitate me. I never needed Narcan; we never called an ambulance. I came back to life right as she pulled me out. I had amnesia for about three hours after that. Everything that happened between me being pulled out of the car and my dad arriving later that night was wiped clean from my memory.

My girlfriend broke up with me a few months after this.

The experience was so profound, and paradoxically underwhelming at the same time. I spent most of my free time in silence, trying to consider what it all meant. When I was dead, was I in hell? Was I in purgatory? Was I in some sort of jail, holding-cell for souls who God is considering giving a second chance? Is there a God in the first place? I've never been particularly religious and that experience didn't change much there. Unfortunately, encountering the greatest mystery, I will only solve once my demise sends me back there again. It wasn't scary, bad, or good. It was just the next step, and I was at peace with that. I'm sure I will in that position again.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: June 2023

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drug or medication overdose Other Potentially clinical death, never confirmed Overdose from fentanyl

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal Amnesia and confusion persisted for a few hours afterwards

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I came back from the void

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time was irrelevant

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No vision, just a general feeling of calm.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Couldn't hear anything, let alone my thoughts.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Serenity

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I figured darkness was a possibility; but never none of my human senses would be retained in said darkness.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Our time here on Earth is just a tiny blip. It's a miracle we can experience anything at all.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Lost the person I cared most about in the entire world. Yes

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The void is so empty that no human experience outside of death could possibly explain the absence I felt there.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it the next day with my ex-girlfriend. No one so far has expressed any sort of emotion about it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes The classic 'life flashes before your eyes and you enter a white light' trope.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? If you feel fear towards death; don't. If that's the worst case scenario, if that's Hell (described in the Bible as being 'far from God', it's honestly rather peaceful. I'd prefer a heaven over that, but when you die, if you make it to that void, it won't bother you at all.

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