Jacqui L NDE

Experience Description

I was in the hospital to deliver my baby. Labor was induced because I was ten days overdue and showing signs of pre-eclampsia. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, but about an hour later, I became very unwell. I developed eclampsia which is abnormal after delivery. I had terrible chest pains and started to have a seizure. There were several doctors and nurses working on me. I was in terrific pain!

Suddenly, I became aware of a tunnel. I started to move towards it, almost floating. I saw the most beautiful light and was being beckoned by someone or something. I knew instinctively that I was dying. I told the nurse 'I’m going to the light.' She panicked and kept shouting at me, 'Stay with me! Don’t go to the light!' I started to make a decision whether I should stay because my baby boy needed me or if I should go into the tunnel of light. I felt rational and knew what choices I had. I got to the tunnel and really wanted to go into the light. I felt guilty that I would consider going to the light over being with my beloved baby. I still feel guilty about that even now. Any parent will know how massive a mother's love and sense of protection is for a newborn infant, but the light and love was even more intense than that feeling. I can’t honestly say what made me return and I’m not sure whether I had a choice. All I know is that I still had job to do and that was nurture my baby boy.

The nurse came to visit me five days later, since I had been in an induced coma in Intensive care. She said, 'You totally freaked us out, as we thought we’d lost you. The nurses tell me that most people who talk about going into the light die. Do you remember it all?' I said, 'I remembered it all.'

This experience has released me from any fear of dying. It was a beautiful experience and not frightening. I went back to school into nursing soon after and believe this was due to this experience and wanting to help others. I’m still trying to enhance my spirituality. I kept my NDE a secret for 30 years because I believed people would think I was crazy or was hallucinating at the time. I’m so blessed to have had this happen to me and want to share it with others.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 5/3/1988

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth. Life threatening event, but not clinical death. I had eclampsia and started to have a seizure with my organs shutting down. I ended up in an induced coma in Intensive Care for five days afterwards.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes, I was aware of love and light and being welcomed by it. I cannot describe whether it was a person or a thing that was welcoming me. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. Everything made sense to me! I knew exactly what was happening and felt I had a choice to make, but that choice seemed to elude me at the end.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I got to the light.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. I lost touch with this World and still struggle with time.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I seemed to lose contact with this World and see another World just beyond a veil.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was aware of the nurses talking to me, but I was too interested in going to the light.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I got to the entrance after floating about 20 feet towards it.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was like any light I have ever seen, warm bright and welcoming.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt intense love, safety, and separation from physical pain.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. Everything made sense. I knew what was happening to me and knew I was dying.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will. I had just given birth and knew I had an infant to care for. I wanted to go, and I still feel guilty about this. I felt that I had no choice but to return.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I feel more spiritual and wasn’t to explore this further.

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Atheist

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I never believed in an afterlife or reincarnation or a God. I now have to challenge those beliefs. I am now trying to enhance my knowledge and spirituality.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I now believe in life after death and reincarnation. I believe that spirits are around to help us.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. I was aware of something or someone welcoming me.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain I knew that this other place or universe was waiting beyond the tunnel but I was stopped from entering.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain I knew something Godly or Spiritual was there, but just outside my grasp.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain I believe I was given this experience for a purpose. I went in to nursing to help others as a result.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife probably exists. I knew that I was dying and there was another World just outside my reach.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life. I went into nursing to help others and I want to become more spiritual.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am more in touch with people's feelings. I have more empathy

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes. How can people understand something so profound if they not experienced it?

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. It was so profound that I remember it vividly but tend to forget day to day things because my memory is normally terrible.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I think I am more in touch with spirituality and wasn’t to learn how to enhance this.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes because I no longer fear death and believe there is afterlife.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It was so real that I believe it. I know it was not hallucinatory because I was weighing up the situation. I was trying to make the best choice of what to do.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It has never changed for me and now reading if others similar experiences has confirmed it as truth. I had never even heard of NDE before my experience happened.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No