James A NDE

Experience Description

I was swimming with my girlfriend in a deep natural pool, popular due to it being the holiday season. It only dawned on me, once I began swimming, that I was much too poor of a swimmer to make it to the middle of the pool, so I swam back to the water’s edge. I was roughly 2 meters from the water’s edge and thought the water would be shallow, my body, too tired to even move, I decided to try to stand. This is when I fell under. I quickly realized that I was drowning. Even keeping my head above the surface was impossible. I told myself that, ‘It can't end here. You have yet to experience this…’ Wow, I thought to myself, that's the only desire I wanted to experience before death. I was extremely depressed before this experience.

In what seemed like a blur, I could no longer fight it and my consciousness was fading. As soon as the realization that I could no longer fight it dawned on me, I blacked out. It was so weird. I knew that the chances of me being pulled out are extremely high because there were a lot of people near the water’s edge. But it seemed as if I desperately wanted people to back off, as if I wanted some space to experience this. This desire for people to stay away was very strong.

This is where the NDE experiences occurred. I was unconscious, but still having a conversation with a feint energy, while I was unconscious. To me this feint energy resembled a masculine entity. You know when you're asleep and you don't dream how it's nothing at all? That was it. I had a conversation with this feint pull of energy on my right side. I could feel, in my heart, that it didn't force anything on me. It was there because it's a natural reaction to the situation. It felt so intimate. I could sense that this entity understood me. It was gentle awareness, slightly apathetic too. This whole conversation didn't occur in words.

It made it known that it wouldn't be deciding my fate. It would be my choice if I died or not. I felt so scared; I didn't want to die. Before this experience, I was numb and bitter, like a zombie. Now, I felt that previous passion for life I had when I was younger. This passion emerged as fear. This entity's personal desire was for me to come with it, or that's what it felt like. Like a magnet slowly pulling something to it. I expressed an automatically desire to ‘just see how things are down there’. My eyes opened briefly, as soon as this happened. I was slightly out of my body floating like an orb: it was so peaceful, the foggy green of the water, the mixture of warmth and coolness. It was uncomfortable; I had a headache. I faded again. I was urged to hurry-up because time was running out. It felt as if it wasn't my time.

I can't remember who said it, the entity, or me but all at once those words appeared, except formless. All at once, I wanted to go back to this life, I wanted to leave this life but mostly I was scared of leaving. Then I said to the entity ‘please, someone save me, I'm going back.’

Immediately, as this happened, I was pulled out of the water and my eyes opened to a person’s arm grabbing my extended hand. That weird void I was in lurked in me a bit afterwards. This energy seemed to understand and support my choice, like a father supporting his son’s decision. In retrospect, I felt much the same afterwards as I did before. I was still depressed, but the feeling of me needing to figure it out for myself, surfaced more visibly in my heart. This feeling made me extremely excited, upset and curious.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 19/1/14

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drowning Life threatening event, but not clinical death I drowned.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I could feel the presence of those in the physical world whilst I was experiencing this. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal It was like I paradoxically existed and didn't exist.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Before the drowning experience occurred, it was exactly like being asleep without dreaming or knocked out, but there was a feint awareness of this conversation I was having.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time readily lost meaning. I could paradoxically feel time in this Earth fading: me needing to make a decision because time was running out. I didn't care too much; time was virtually a non-existent concept at the same time. I also felt many things happen at once.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I blacked out. Vision was non-existent.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. A very feint sense of the external environment and a predominate sense towards my internal formless monologue.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes It felt like the being I encountered had a previous Earth incarnation.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was hard to describe, but a very bright light occurred during my minor OBE. Everything was so much brighter.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt childish fear. I felt as if I were adored. I felt loved. I felt more protected.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will The conscious decision brought me back: I had to choose. I couldn't escape the fear of death and decided to return: this desire manifesting itself as an intense fear of leaving things behind and feeling as if I still have some purpose.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths At the time of the experience I self identified as a pantheist.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths I currently self identify as a pantheist.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I really had no beliefs or care for the concept of NDE's before this. I'd read some, but always remained neutral minded.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin This voice was clearly another entity that manifested itself in my inner world. It was an energy with which I conversed.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I felt an unconditional love that made me think that god does exist.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes It felt like I was meant to achieve something only I can in this Earth - a very bewildering and confusing feeling.

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably existsá

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists Uncertain I felt this corporeal, mystical energy. This did affirm notions of an after life. An after plane of existence. It felt human though.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I moderately fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No There was an awareness that pain was very real and hell was very real. And that there were consequences.

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain I felt so ashamed for not loving myself. For shutting my doors to people.

Were you compassionate after your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life Slight changes in my life. I felt less misunderstood afterwards. By what? Just existence.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I felt less compelled to contact others afterwards.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain There's an unusual feeling my description gives too much justice yet not enough detail to the experience. It's easy however to express the conversation that occurred. The meanings shared were formless but fitted well with our language.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience That whole entire day it felt like my waking consciousness was in a trance, this measured up as the day been similar to my NDE in terms of memorability.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Two months. There was jaded reaction.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I had read up on them on this sight before but nothing too thorough.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real It was always feint but visibly beyond a level my imagination would create.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably real As above

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Merely thinking back to that day makes my mind feel wider, closer to what it was that day.