James M NDE

Experience Description

The first thing I remember was seeing a huge, round, and colorful opening or pathway. At the end of the pathway was a white church and other small white buildings. The sky was blue. I no longer felt anger, sadness, or regret. I also had a strange feeling that I can't explain. I don't know what love is, but I guess that this feeling was that someone loved me and forgave me. I badly wanted to stay. The emotions were so strong. There were four male figures on my left side. They were dressed in long gray overcoats. They didn't have faces as we know them. Rather, their faces were glowing with a strong, bright light shinging from their face. We didn't have verbal communication. We communicated through emotional feelings. Three other figures appeared on my right side. They looked like the other figures with the same color coats and faces of bright light. They came towaards me in a non-threatening way.

Then I woke up. The doctor told me what happened, but I didn't care because I wanted to go back there.

Before, I didn't believe in life after death. But now, I am confused. This was not a hallucination because it was so real. I can never forget the feelings, warmness, and the knowledge that I was loved. I did not want to talk to anyone about this, but I made an appointment to speak to a priest.

I am not afraid of death now.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 04/21/2020

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related. While under general anesthesia. CPR given. Other: I bled out during surgery. The doctor told me that I had only about 5 minutes before they called time of death.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I saw everything, but my feelings were intense. I was not scared. I felt at home, with peace. I felt complete and that someone knew who I was.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I entered the pathway

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. I can't find the words for this.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was getting ready to go to the gym

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was no sound. Communications were not heard, but I understood through emotions.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I was standing in a tunnel, or I guess it was more like a huge entrance. There were 7 men who had faces of very bright light.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes On the men's faces.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. It was a pathway where I had intense feelings and saw amazing colors. I felt whole as a person, without guilt, sadness, sorrow or anger.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? The emotions were very strong. I did not know what they were, but I felt as one and a complete self. All the negative emotions were gone. I felt a very strong emotion from someone who knows and understands me; someone who accepts me as I am. I have never experienced these feelings before.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. I knew who i was as a person. I felt whole and did not carry guilt from my life on earth. I have PTSD. Yet, I felt relief and forgiveness that no medicine could give me. Most importantly, I felt loved, which I felt I did not deserve because of my guilt.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will. The seven men were getting closer to me. I started to go backwards, but I wanted to go forward.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Do not know. I was Catholic at an early age. I didn't believe before. Now, I do.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes There is a higher power and he's not a bad guy.

What is your religion now? Do not know.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I learned how to forgive.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. I encountered seven men in gray overcoats with bright white light for faces.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I felt accept as myself and I was a part of something else.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes They made me feel whole as an individual person.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes They showed me how love feels

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. Guilt was a part of my life and held me back because of things that I am ashamed of doing. I had felt that I did not deserve anything good in my life. Now, I feel accepted and not ashamed for the events in my violent life.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My personality changed. I am more open and honest with myself.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I keep trying hard to remember the five days in the hospital bed and am still amazed.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Coming out of surgery, the doctor was telling about the 4 or 5 minutes left before they were going to declare me as dead. I did not care what he was telling me because I was trying to remember where I was and I wanted to go back to the place with all those amazing feelings.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I feel that I am worth something.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It was not a dream.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I had had surgery many times and never had a dream like this before. Nothing like this has ever happened to me.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No