Jeanette H NDE

Experience Description

My sister and I left the west coast of Sweden and were headed to the eastern coast. Halfway through our trip, we collided head-on at 90 km an hour in a small 1994 Honda. I had many acute injuries; intestines and spleen damaged, torn diaphragm, both my lungs were punctured. I also had crushed vertebra in my back and my right shoulder joint was disjointed. We were stuck in the car for about 45 minutes before the rescue personnel sawed off the roof and got us off to the emergency room. Luckily, we were only about 5 minutes from the big hospital where all the regular staff were still there on the day shift. When we left the car, I felt like I was dying. I couldn't breathe. I'm fighting for my life and I don't want to leave my body, but it hurt so much. I felt alone, even though I heard my sister yelling for me to calm down. When the rescue personnel came, I felt a little calmer. They were asking me questions and I answered between the crying that 'I want to go home.'

I left my body as I can hear all the sounds around me. I don't know where I am, because I'm everywhere. I hear everything, feel everything and all of a sudden I feel pain again when I returned to the body. It hurts too much and I let go as I give up and am done. That's my feeling.

Then my godmother met me. She passed away from breast cancer ten years earlier. Everything is just energy, but I know it is her. She leads me forward and into a bright waiting room. I still have a hard time describing what it looks like and the feeling of it is indescribable, indefinable, but if I try, it sounds like this: Everything is bright and clear; everything is energy. Behind the three energies that met me is an even bigger light. It is like a pillar of light, completely blinding but yet it is not. The colors were completely indescribable in that I have never seen them before or later. My godmother, Anette came first and then there were two even bigger energy beings. I would call them angels or even bigger, higher and more powerful. Everything is unconditional love. I feel IMMEDIATELY that I have come home. I am no longer separate. I don't know where I, myself, begin or end as I am a part of everything. I immediately decide that this is where I will stay. Later it was explained to me that this was just a step on my journey.

I had a choice. I could choose to step back into my broken body and heal it. I had already decided that I would stay there and going back felt completely unthinkable. But then I got to hear and see my life from the day I was born and when I was little. Then I heard all the prayers very clearly that were said from my family and friends that I should come back and not leave my earthly life. I saw and heard my then unborn children and future husband. I saw myself as old and everything happened at the same time.

Time and space did not exist or was all happening at the same time. I understood that I was not finished. In this absolutely, unconditional state there was no fear of going back. I understood many things that seem to unlock in stages. The more I increase my consciousness, the more I grow and visit this memory, and place. I also know that many things we can never understand in earthly life probably won't either because it is undefinable and completely unlimited. There is so much I can't put into words or have ever tried to do. I protected this event for many years because I couldn't cope if someone didn't believe me. This experience was sacred to me.

After the accident, I only got incomprehensible and attempted logical answers from doctors, psychologists, priests and therapists. And I now understand that is completely reasonable because how can others understand the indefinable when they have not been there themselves. I, who have been there, cannot even understand and explain in a dignified way. I can only do the best I can.

When I returned to my body, it was a painful and very unpleasant experience that I do not like to visit even in memory. And I think that's how it feels when we're all born into life on earth. It became darker, tougher and pressing in feeling. It was as if I were torn apart and going into separation from the beautiful and wonderful state I was just in. And if I'm being honest, there's probably a lot more to be found in this event but I haven't wanted to go into it. It feels very painful.

Once back in my body I could hear everything outside me. I heard nurses talking. Above all, I was aware of my mother. She didn't leave my side; I felt her and it was also very painful. I couldn't answer her. During this time, my body was numb and I was on a respirator when the doctors wanted my internal organs to float freely without too much strain. They had filled me with water and there were hardly any outlines on my hands and feet and my face was round like a football. They urgently operated on everything in my stomach and even the vertebra in my back was fixed with a titanium ladder in a rigid operation. After 2.5 days, I started breathing against the respirator as soon as the sleeping pill started to wear off. They made the decision, together with my mother to remove it.

I don't know all the medical terms but the doctors have called my survival a miracle. I heard loud and clear, a voice in myself that told me how to move the energy in the body, where to focus, and how it would feel. I also felt a lot of dissonance when someone said something I couldn't agree with. I felt clearly in me that I decide, not someone else's words would control my truth about life again. I recovered miraculously fast. Then a completely new chapter began in my life. It was a rebirth that I have been searching for for 18 years, so that I could step into the purpose of my life.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 20040702

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) I was the passenger in the front seat in a car and was involved in a head-on car crash.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I heard all the prayers that people said. I felt/heard them loud and clear. I don't think we discussed them in detail though. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. It felt like I was one with everything. I knew everything and everything was okay; held in a divine order. There was no separation and it was just unconditional love surrounding it all.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Probably during the operation. Time was a weird concept for me during this event

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. Time and space did not seem to exist. I was one with all and I saw it all play out at the same time.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I had no end and no beginning. I felt safe, loved, held and home. I understod things beyond my logical minds comprehend.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I can't really say. It's not so much the hearing, its more feeling and being.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain. I don't really see it like a tunnel, ore just light.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My god mother (aunt) Anette

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes it was wonderful, colorful, pleasant and so much more than I ever seen before or after. LOVE

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was all energy and very bright, and behind us was a even bigger and brighter pillar of light.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? It was bliss to be in the waiting room of light. No separation, no judgment, just unconditional love and present feelings. ALL IS WELL. Everything Is perfect feeling. But going back to my body was bad. I still don't like thinking about that.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. We are one, from the same source. I still feel this from time to time. No separation

Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events. I saw all of my life but I only recall small sequences. I saw my children that were not born yet. I saw (felt) myself as much older.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future. I saw my unborn children, my husband, my older self. I don't really remember specific events but I can get deja vu experiences.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life i was given a choice. I could have stayed there if I wanted to. But when seeing that I have aun important roll to play in universe, I came back.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I talk to universe and source a lot

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths. I believe that all big religions are talking about the same thing. Source and creations, there is some truth in them all. The perspective is just different culture and social structures.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I don't know what I thought before, but I could not comprehend this before

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I hear myself very clear, I KNEW we all are bigger than we think in this earthly body.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. I was met by 3 energies one was my godmother Anette that passed 10 years earlier from breast cancer. the 2 others was big and bright, powerful and lovingly.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes my children, and me as older

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes i was limetless, I felt all and nothing, no separation just oneness

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I felt 2 supreme beings and GOD is a conciseness, a light and a source that includes ALL.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I got the knowledge of self healing and self love and the importance of starting from within.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes My purpose is to be here, to be a tread in the big web, to share my true energy and truth.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes we go back to source were there is no separation and just unconditional love. No judgment or doomsday.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain It stills unlocks things from this experience

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes everything is love

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I started to search for answers to prove it all to be true. I never have been proven wrong.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I'm more true now, I lost some relationships on the way becuse I feel a deeper connection and all people can't handle that.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is out of this world; the words and feelings I know is not enough.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. It's like something that can never be forgotten or unseen or unfelt.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I hear my self (soul) clearly, I work greatly with my body and I understand feelings much better. Feel disharmony or unresonance trough my body

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? This feeling of being so big and limetless and one with all. a key player in a sea of key players.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I tried in the start but I felt like people step on it. I could not defend myself. So I stopped talking about it and hide it away for a long time until I found words and ways to talk about it and felt stronger in myself. I had to ground the experience in me first.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably not real. Every one I talked to tried to logically explain it and did not listen or understand, and it first felt like a dream because I could not logical comprehend and there was no help to get. But I could not shake the voice inside and the new knowing that I had.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I have looked for the answers since that day and not even ones have I got proven wrong of that it was real, all the knowledge about my body hand how to heal it and all the self love that came from this experience I can't deny, it is my truth. No one can take it away from me.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I can visit this place, and I have a much easier time to feel grace today. And during sometimes in my life the memory gets triggered, can be the good or the bad.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? no

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I don't really know right now; it was a big questionnaire