Jen W NDEs

Experience Description

While in the middle of an emergency c-section, I watched myself flatline as my pulse slowed. I heard my mother call out.

The room got brighter. It was quiet, but I felt so much love surrounding me. I was standing in a 'room' but it was too bright to see; like standing in a long white room, with all the lights turned on. I knew I wasn't alone, but could only see shadows of the others. At the end of room was an even brighter door. The door looked more like sunshine than the bright white light in the room. One of the shadows closest to me spoke to me by saying my name. I asked her who she was, and she replied, 'Your Grandmother.'

At this point, all my grandmothers were still alive, yet one had cancer at the time.

I responded with 'but your still alive.' She responded back with 'Time is different here.' She then told me that I had something important to do, and I could not stay with her. At the beginning of my experience, I was holding my baby. But by the time my grandmother spoke, I was not holding her any more. Strangely, I was not concerned about it at the time. While I was asking her what I needed to do, the room got darker. Then, I woke up. A surgery that should have taken a few short minutes, took over 4 hours. During that time, I had no heartbeat for a bit. My daughter too also had no heart beat for a small while. But, they revived her before me. This explains holding and not holding the baby.

But this isn't the first time I was told that I had something important to do, and could not go with my grandmother. The first time was when I was 7 or 8 years old and our car went off the road. The emergency crew worked on me from the time they pulled me out of the car until the ambulance made it to the hospital. I remember most of the trip, but from a different point of view.

I was floating above the scene the whole time. When I woke up in the hospital, I told my mother of my floating dream. I told her things like the green car wasbehind the ambulance. We had picked up three kittens before the accident, I told her that one kitten did not make it. I told her where they found my brother as he flew out of the car and landed next to a big boulder. I told her about the crowd that had arrived to help us and I described the clothing of the person who pulled me unconscious out of the car. These were things I could not have known unless I was watching it.

After I woke up, I asked was what happened to the red and black ceiling? I liked it better than the boring white one. It was a nurse who told us that was what the floor looked like. Since, I was strapped to a bed, I couldn't see the floor. The last thing I remember is the room with the red and black ceiling. It had a strange light fixture that looked almost like a bed with people standing around it. The people were making noises, and they got louder as the light in the room got brighter, until it was just a room with white light. This room was filled with shadows, where an older woman took my hand and led me towards the sunshine. She was telling me it wasn't my time, that I had something important to do, and that could not stay with her. I did not ask her who she was, but could feel so very much love all around me; like the white light was hugging me.

A few years later, I came down with an illness that left me in bed with a high fever. At this point, I had step-grandparents who were Seventh Day Adventists, who had introduced me to Christianity. I'm not sure how long I was asleep, but my brother later told me, it was a couple weeks. I was so sick, they almost took me to the doctors. They gave me an ice bath to bring my fever down. During this time, I had a similar experience as when I had the accident. The room became bright; but this time there was a Male voice that spoke to me. A woman was there too. As I had been to church recently, I asked them if they were Jesus and Mary. They replied, 'Sort of... you can call us that if you like, but we are much, much older.' I could not see their faces, only shadows of their figures; yellow sunlight-like shadows. Every time they spoke, I didn't just hear it, but saw it in the form of shapes that would grow and shrink depending on their words. They told me they were here to give me a message. That it wasn't my time yet, and that I had something important to do. I asked them what it was, and they explained they couldn't tell me, but it would be my purpose. 'What purpose?' I asked them. This is hard to explain, but growing and shrinking shapes also help explain their words. Their explanation was that everyone is here for a purpose, each purpose having an intention to a bigger purpose. This is like a rock thrown into a pond, each ripple then becomes a wave that pushes little pebbles up onto the shore, to where a bird might find it, using it to aid their digestion, while they fly over a barren land, dropping small seeds along with that pebble in a field, growing flowers for the bees later in the summer. The voices went on to tell me my purpose, however small it might be was important, and I could not go yet. Again, the yellow sunlight began to fill the room, and I woke up to a very worried step mother, who thought she had almost lost me.

I'm still not sure I know what it is that I am meant to do. But, I have become the pebble who causes small ripples that later becomes huge waves. I started a small, sunflower maze 12 years ago. Since then, many more have opened, copying the idea. But it is more than that, as our place is all about love, kindness, and enjoying those moments full of love with the family. By doing so, I have inspired others to do similar things. We have more flowers in our community now. And maybe that was my purpose all along, to plant more flowers in this world.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1997

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Surgery-related Childbirth Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function)

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness. I felt like myself, but without any pain.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I met my grandmother

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was so bright, like having so many lights in a room full of mirrors

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It didn't seem any different than normal.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes From darkness to light, and then from white light to yellow light

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain She said at the time she was my grandmother, but both were still alive. I do believe it was my grandmother's mother. They looked identical.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was white light, like the lamps we use for photography.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. It was a room. filled with light. My soul knew it wasn't of this earth.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love. So much Love

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will. It wasn't really against my will. I was just told I couldn't stay, it wasn't my time, and I had to go back.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other faiths- New age

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I learned that God is only part of the equation, and that Hinduism is the closest I've seen to what the two voices showed me during that fever.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I was so young at the time, it didn't really change my perspective but molded it.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. She said she was my grandmother. I'm sure she was one of them. It felt as though the others standing with her were also Female ancestors.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes If I have something important to do, and cannot go with her - there must be a plan.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I have come so close so many times, only to be turned back at the door. And now.. my small ripples from that tiny pebble are reaching far.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes She implied that she was already existing after death, and that I would too, just not right now.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life To get to that feeling of love I must continue on the path of kindness and giving. Live not for oneself but for the others around you. So, I live with that thought always

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I know things. I see things before they happen. I dream of babies before they are born. I can see death on people before they die. I am connected to nature in a way that is hard to explain, but I know the weather before the radar does. I can feel what others are feeling, and have on occasion read a mind or two. (not on purpose) I also feel ghosts ( I don't see them so to speak, but I can describe them still the same, and not like they can communicate, but as if I've walked into memory.)

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Two. My child disappeared in my 'dream' the same time she was brought back to life in the real world. I knew she was safe the whole time, even when I noticed her gone, I felt relief over fear. and the second part was the love that I felt from my ancestors. They all were there watching me.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Uncertain I don't share it often. Most think I am mentally ill. But it did happen. The ones I have shared it to either get the chills, or laugh. It doesn't matter if they believe me, as only I experienced it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I was not breathing with no heart beat during the duration of my experience. That is a fact. How can you dream if you are not pumping blood nor oxygen into the brain.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. As it happened three times, and each time was the same or similar, I would have to say the experience was real. It is the only time I have had the same 'dream' more than once as well.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain. I do grow a field of flowers that has had the same effect as a pebble thrown into a pond.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It's hard to describe something that leaves you with knowledge without having it spoken to you.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Add Goddess questions. She's tired of being left out of everything after the divorce.

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