Jennifer K SDE

Experience Description

I had known of Near Death Experiences for a long time, but I had never heard of Shared Death Experiences until just now while reading John Hagan III, MDs book 'The Science of NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES.' I think this is what I had experienced. This was not the death of a human, but of my horse. I had worked for several years for a Veterinarian and I have had many animal companions that were closer to me than my human family. So, I have been present at the humane euthanasia of many loved animals, but this is the only time I have had an experience like this.

Kiowa was my first horse. She was an older mare when I got her, so I don't know much of her early life experiences.I suspect that some of them must have been unpleasant because she really did not like tall men in cowboy hats. I could not catch her if she was lose in a pasture. She did not like humans very much. But over time, I won her confidence and she trusted me. The last year I had her, she developed an ovarian tumor and started to lose weight. Her health was failing. My Vet said she probably would not make it through the coming Winter or at best it would be very hard on her. The kind thing to do would be to euthanize her before that. I kept her and loved her until I knew that the time was near and I needed to do what I needed to do. I called my Vet to come out and put her down.

The Vet administered 2 syringes full of euthanasia solution into her neck. She looked up, flehmend, then folded her legs and laid down. As soon as she was down, I threw myself across her body, sobbing. That is when I had a vision as clear as looking at a large movie screen. I saw a green hill with grass and flowers, with the blue sky beyond. Then I saw Kiowa galloping up over the crest of the hill. Her mane was flying and she looked joyful! And I heard in my head these words, 'I'm FREE! I'm FREE! I'm FREE!' And then she was gone.

That was 34 years ago, and I still cry when I remember this. I have been present at many euthanasias but this was the only time I had experienced this. Why this one? Maybe because all of the other creatures had not wanted to leave the humans who loved them. But for Kiowa, this was an escape from humans she did not want to be around. But before she left she let me know that she was happy that I let her go.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 10/31/1986

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. This was a shared death experience. It was not my death my horse. l was traumatized by her death.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness. No change in my level of consciousness or alertness

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? the whole time

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was seeing something that only I could see, but it was transitory

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The words I heard, 'I'm FREE!' were only in my head

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes The deceased being was my horse who was then dying

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was filled with grief for losing my friend, but seeing her so free was beyond words

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I am nonreligious but spiritual. I believe that everything is 'alive' and filled with life force. Sometimes I think I feel the presence of my beloved animal companions that are no longer living. I believe that if there is an afterlife for humans there must be one for animals as well, we are all composed of the same DNA and share the same evolutionary history. We must all go to the same place, where ever and what ever that may be. I believe (hope) that we will all be together again, across the 'Rainbow Bridge'

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify. It was not a mystical being, but the spirit of my horse leaving her body. I heard 'I'm FREE!' She was not speaking these words, but I heard them nonetheless.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? I am uncertain if an afterlife exists. Yes, I saw her looking alive when I knew she was dying /dead. She appeared alive, well, and happy

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life. But I continue to adopt and love more animal companions even though I know that each one that I love will result in heartbreak someday. They do not live as long as we humans do, unfortunately

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain. I can tell the story of what happened, but I can't describe how I was feeling at the time

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. This was a very traumatic experience in putting down my first horse. The events of that day are still very clear in my mind, from the arrival of the Vet to finally burying her body on my property.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have shared this many times over the past several years, all with people who know me well, and also love animals. They have all accepted my story as I tell it

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I have had an interest in NDE for years, and have read everything I can about the experience.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. This experience has become a part of who I am. I have never doubted the reality of this experience, and it comforts me every time I have had to say goodbye to another animal companion

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. This was a very real event; As real to me now as it was all those years ago

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Uncertain