Johanna S NDE

Experience Description

I had been living with my adoptive mother (who was actually my aunt). She was extremely controlling and didn't like my 'natural' mother, who was her sister-in-law. I was adopted within the family and considered their home as my second home. My adoptive father died in 1963. He acted as a buffer between my adoptive mother and my own mother who was his sister. Things just got so bad that I had to move out to live with an aunt and uncle, my father's sister and brother-in-law. I had been working in a bank and had a transfer to a different branch. Three weeks after I moved there, my boss (the assistant manager) called me into his office and started saying that I was useless, that I couldn't do anything, all the things my adoptive mother had told me all my life. My adoptive mother's face and voice came over the top of the manager's face and voice and it was her who was yelling at me, telling me I was stupid and couldn't do anything. I completely lost the plot and screamed and yelled at the poor man, thinking that it was mother. I was terrified and so was he!

I went home, left a note for my aunt saying that I'd gone to bed. She came up and screamed at my uncle to fetch the doctor. He arrived, and I heard him say that if I lived the night, which he doubted, I would last a month.

I floated above my bed and remember thinking, 'you poor thing. You do look ill.' The body on the bed had absolutely nothing to do with the 'me' that was floating near the ceiling. I floated through the roof and went into a revolving tunnel. I was so tired that I sat down in the middle of the tunnel. Someone came along and said that I couldn't stay there, that I had to move to the light. He showed me a pinprick of light that seemed a million miles away. I burst into tears and said that I couldn't move.

He once again said that I couldn't stay where I was. I said once more that I was so tired that I couldn't move. He called for help and said that I had returned, but I was very tired. There were a lot of people around and I was carried towards the light. It was very bright, but not blinding. It was obvious that I was not expected. One person behind the light, on the left hand side, said I should stay because I had had a very hard life. Someone on the right hand side said I should go back because my work was not finished. A voice in the middle told me to go for a walk while they decided.

I found myself walking along a path next to a river. People were sitting on the right hand side of the river, on a riverbank, either alone or in groups, talking or reading or just sitting quietly. The feeling of peace and total acceptance was overwhelming. The colors were so bright. There's nothing like them on earth. Eventually, I was called back. They told me that I had to come back here because my work was not finished yet. I was told that when I do go back, in many years' time, I will not be returning here.

People were milling round, or so it seemed to me, asking what the verdict was. When they were told I was returning, there was uproar, with people saying that it wasn't fair and I should stay. I started literally kicking and screaming and saying that I wanted to stay there. I didn't want to go back. However, I entered the revolving tunnel once more and hovered again above my body, before I floated down and settled back into it.

When I woke up, I have no idea how long the experience took; I went to get a drink from the night stand on the right hand side of the bed. I couldn't move my arm. I thought I must have had a cramp. Then I tried to move my leg and nothing happened. I went to call out, because I was so terrified, but nothing happened. No sound came out. I had suffered a massive stroke on my right hand side. I was totally unable to move, talk or, at that stage, even think. I was terrified. But I knew that, eventually, I would be okay. I knew that I would be one day, able to walk and talk again, which I did. I lost my eldest son to suicide in 2000. He knew of my experience. I told my two sons all about it, and apparently, that helped Andrew when he went over. It was not so scary for him. I think the biggest problem that we have is in being believed.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1969

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening' Stroke.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was walking along the river bank.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The colors were so much more vivid than anything we experience on earth.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't think I was hearing with my ears. It appeared to be telepathic.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

The experience included: Tunnel

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Hard to explain. They obviously knew me, but I had no recollection of them.

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was extremely tired, on all possible levels.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I was told that my work was not finished and so I had to return. I was told that when I return, in many years' time, I will not return here again.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated I was raised in the Methodist church, although none of my family were of any particular religion. The Methodis church was the nearest.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I no longer ascribe to any religious belief.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? No comment I do not subscribe to any faith.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Although I had been sent to a Methodist church and Sunday school, etc., I had no real concept of anything that was not of this world. None of my parents discussed anything of a religious nature with me. I'm not sure I believed what I had been taught at church or in Sunday school.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Although I had been sent to a Methodist church and Sunday school, I had no real concept of anything that was not of this world. None of my parents discussed anything of a religious nature with me. I'm not sure I believed what I had been taught at church or in Sunday school. I knew that there was more to life than just this life. I knew absolutely that there is more.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I was in front of a bright light and three people spoke: one on the left, one on the right and one in the middle. The one in the middle spoke to me directly, the others didn't.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew that I was not on the earth. I knew that I was elsewhere. The tunnel revolved and was very noisy. I had been floating above my body lying on the bed, and that body on the bed had nothing to do with the 'me' that I was at that time. I was told that my work has not been completed.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I knew that I was not on the earth. I knew that I was elsewhere. The tunnel revolved and was very noisy. Also, I had been floating above my body laying on the bed, and that body on the bed had nothing to do with the Me that I was at that time.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes The feeling of love and total acceptance surrounded me.;

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Since my experience, I have read books about spiritual ideas from all types of religions. I no longer fear death. I know where I am going when I leave the Earth. Large changes in my life.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes My family didn't believe me when I told them about my experience and said I must have dreamed it all. I no longer have any contact with any of them, they live in England and I live in Australia, where I have been since 1972.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can speak telepathically to animals, but whether or not I could do this before my experience, I'm not sure. I do know that my clairvoyant capabilities increased.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Just knowing that there is more than just this experience, which we call life, that there is life after what we call death. I was once married to an atheist, which was interesting. I have also been married to someone who was bought up in the Catholic religion. Neither of them believed what I told them.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I was not believed. I still am not. I am still told by some that I have 'a vivid imagination' and that no one tells us what happens when we die. My eldest son, who died of suicide in 2000, was helped because I told him about my experience. He has come back since and contacted me to let me know he's okay. He's doing well and is now 'free' and helping his brother to become free too. (Free from what I'm not sure.) He suffered from Paranoid Schizophrenia. My younger son was a drug addict and is an alcoholic.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was so vivid that it could not have been anything else.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I have since read a lot about people who have had similar experiences and know absolutely that this happened.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It was real. The feeling of love and total acceptance surrounded me.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Everyone's adventure is different. Mine was different to others that I have read about. I don't see how you could improve the questionnaire really. Except to maybe ask, 'Did you have a Death Experience or a Near Death Experience?' There is a vast difference. I have heard of people who have been to the light and told that their time is not yet, and that they had to go back. I went past the light before I was sent back. I went to The Other Side of the Rainbow, and returned.