John S Possible NDE

Experience Description

My death experience (DE) was 2/14/1988; quite a while ago, but I remember it as if it were yesterday. I will keep this brief and get right into the transitory portion and skip how I got ‘there’.

Here goes...

I was sitting on a bench in a forgotten corner of this busy and loud place. It was a place filled with music, many people talking and laughing when suddenly there was complete silence. I was standing in warm, black, velvety darkness. In this area which seemed like a cozy waiting room there appeared to be a curtain, a giant black, velvety stage curtain like you would find at a New York theater. I could feel the curtain just by looking at it, I could feel the blackness of it, the softness of it and velvety feel of it. It was so comforting. Also, I could hear faint sounds behind me of where I had just come from, but I was drawn to what was in front of me. I reached for the curtain. When I pulled the curtain back, I stepped forward out of the darkness and onto the most brilliant green grass and the bluest sky. It was stunning. The strip of grass was about 6 feet or so, between me and a shallow stream bank. The plush grass trailed left and right along the stream bank and seemed to go on for miles. I looked at the water gently running with itself creating subtle bumps as it moved along. The water was beautiful and the grass met the water so perfectly. It was like a perfectly trimmed and landscaped yard. The stream width seemed only about 20 feet across and seemed to dip a bit in the middle, so I knew it wasn't terribly deep. I was drawn to look at the other side of the stream bank. I perceived several vague forms across the stream and more intensely, I could FEEL them. I could feel the amazing energy coming from those forms and where they stood. I was taking this all in. I knew where I had come from before being in this place, but I knew that was not where I was now. I was a bit confused, but I just felt that it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that moment, and I kept being drawn to that place across the stream. I stepped forward and made my way to the bank closest to me. It was logical to me. If I step in and keep moving about 20 feet, I’ll be on the other side of the stream bank where those people were and where that energy was stunning. Though I was not sure who was over there. I was certain they were people. What else could they be? I live in a world of people. I dropped my left foot into the water of the stream and the water just covered the top of my foot. It was cool and refreshing water and it danced around my foot as it moved along with itself. I proceeded to drop my right foot into the stream as well and stood there just a few inches into the stream. The water enveloped both feet and now it danced around both my feet as I was now completely in the stream. In this action of moving about 6 or 7 feet from where I had pulled back the velvety curtain, I could discern more, that indeed there were people across the stream on the other bank and I wanted to be there. It was then that I heard for the first time; up until then there were no real sounds that captured my attention, but that was about to change. My thought of wanting to be on the other side was abruptly disrupted by a sound that came from everywhere and nowhere in particular, it just was! It also was not a sound that I heard with my ears, but a sound that I felt in my being. It spoke to me without audible words and when I became aware of it, I intrinsically knew that there was no denying anything to it. It felt like how a masculine sound would sound if it were spoken, but it wasn’t spoken…it was directly to me, to my mind. I was quite surprised. This experience was VERY different. I hadn’t heard any 'real' sounds since I arrived at this place, but again, that wasn’t important; however, the silence was amazingly peaceful and just was. The voice was soothing and strong at the same time. I could feel the depth of the question, 'Where are you?' As a 19-year-old, I clapped back, 'I’m at The Saint in New York!' As I finished the word, ‘York’, I was suddenly aware of thumping bass and people talking around me. I was shocked at the noise, the horrendous noise, the clatter of a hundred different sounds all at once vying for my ears. My logic was being tossed all around in my brain…what was THAT and HOW am I now hearing all THIS. I remember thinking, NO! I don’t feel right! As quickly as my thought formed, I was back at the stream; hearing the sounds of bass and chaos trailing off now replaced with the beautiful silence. I was standing in the stream as if I hadn’t moved. I observed where I was in the stream and felt the draw again to move forward. To me now, the noises I just heard were irrelevant and forgotten. I needed to get to the other bank. I stepped forward a full pace into the stream, considering the depth in my pace. Another pace! I slowly paced until the water was just above my ankles. I stopped mid-stream. I began to see those across the stream a bit more clearly. It seemed that my presence had given them pause. I could see that people had turned their heads to see me standing in the middle of the stream. I thought to myself, 'they can see me, they know I am here. I want to be with them.' Now I wanted to get to the other side...something inside me was pulling me to the other bank. I could feel it in my, in my heart. It was warm and felt like it was glowing. I was ready to take more paces until the Voice rose up again. Still kind, but stronger! 'Where are you?' With a bit of annoyance in my response since being asked the same question as before I snapped, 'I’m at The Saint in New York!' I became aware of that awful noise again, but also became aware that I was lying on a floor. I sensed a couple of people close by to me. I could make out a couple of things they said. My ears picked up their sounds, 'I don’t think he is breathing!' and 'should we call an ambulance?' None of the things I heard made their way through my logical mind and it was all happening so fast, but for certain, I felt that I needed to be with those across the stream. As that thought crossed me, I was back at my place in the stream and the static I just heard was no longer relevant. As I stood in the middle of the stream, I began pacing to reach, only a few feet away, the other side of the bank. Pacing the last few feet and I could 'hear' those on the other bank saying my name, John. 'John is coming to join us!' I saw an arm reaching out from the bank; an offering to bring me to the bank where they stood. I sensed them as people I knew on a level that I only KNEW. I couldn’t make out features, but both men and women were gathering with excitement at my arrival to join them. Suddenly, I became aware of 2 of them. One of them was my Aunt Pat and another was an old friend, Lynn, from college in Georgia. The strength of the energy was immense. I could feel within myself the magnetic pull to be there and how I wanted to be there with them. I began to reach for one of the outstretched arms of a person on the stream bank. Suddenly, the Voice bellowed to me. It was stern, but not angry. It was like your dad giving you your last warning before 'the belt comes out' kind of warning! 'Where are you?' With certain annoyance in my response, 'I told you before; I am at The Saint in New York!' Instantly, I left the stream and was standing surrounded by the thick, black, velvety curtain. I felt love all around, immersed, and never fearful. As a stood there, I felt the presence of a tall being behind me. The presence was immense and though I was not fearful, I KNEW I was not allowed to turn around. As I mentioned the presence was immense, but the only thing more immense than the presence was the unbelievably powerful light shining from behind me that I knew was emanating from the being behind me. I don’t know, to this day, WHO was behind me, but in that environment of unbelievable trust and love, I really didn’t care. But, if I DID care, that care was removed with a message from the being. 'John, you are unable to turn around and look at me as you would not be able to handle the power of the Light, it would be too much for you.' I did not question! I could sense the being was neither Male nor Female. It told me telepathically, 'I have some things you need to see and understand.' The being raised its left arm over my left shoulder revealing its arm from the elbow down. It wasn’t terribly important at the time, but I was aware of it. There was a large sleeve that ended just a few inches from the wrist. The arm was slender and the hand appeared to have slender fingers. In an instant, a vision appeared and an entire movie-type set appeared out of nothing. The set included people, props, and an entire scenario out of the air. The being raised its index finger and said to me, 'you need to be aware of this?' It did not tell me what I was seeing, but rather allowed me to observe the 'play' as it created its point.

I recognized the main character in the scene before me, because it WAS me. I was with people I knew, people I trusted. It was a high school setting and as I faced the people I knew, it was great. These were my friends and we were laughing, telling jokes, kidding around. It was an everyday scene of any day. However, when I turned my back to walk away, it became jarring! Instantly, my friends suddenly began saying horrible and hurtful things about me, gossiping, saying rumors, he should die. I turned swiftly around and back were the glee, smiles and laughter. Turning my back again and the hatred, jealousy, and distrust all returned. It was terrible had I not had the emanating presence of great love behind me, I don’t know how I would have reacted to what I was experiencing and with that, I understood that they were lessons to be observed and acutely aware regarding human nature and how to be on guard against our nature of humanity to be aware and in order to transform these visions, humility would be the greatest internal tool against the treasonous behaviors of the human mind devised to hurt one another; delivered through each other via the human tongue. I was the main character AND the observer at the same time. This scenario vanished as quickly as it had appeared when its mission was accomplished.

The 2nd vision that was revealed to me via another scene used the very place I was that evening though it was clear to me that I was no longer in that space; The Saint in New York City. A mega club on 2nd Avenue in Manhattan. An amazing collection of stage, lighting, music to satisfy the economic thirst of some investors to make money on the backs of those who are looking to blow off steam and have an amazing night out on the town. Like the first vision, it wisped out of nowhere and the stage was set to perfection. This vignette was a bit different in that I was not a main character on the stage. This time I was the objective observer of the scene and it was an observation and learning opportunity specifically with a message of 'shine the transforming light into the darkness!' My guide again raised its finger to direct my attention to the 'stage'. Suddenly, the massive dance floor was before us, pulsing with thousands of lights creating an alluring sight combined with powerful bass and treble blaring speakers pounding out music, entrancing the crowd to dance to a rhythm of a universal beat; like a hammer rhythm with each player dancing in their own space and world. It was great fun to see the players dancing and each having their own experience and fun until the light from my Guide blossomed and engaged the players. Instantly, screams and screeching of the players began to drown out the drums and electronic music. The fears of the players were seen in their eyes and they dodged the light shining deep into their being as best they could muster. This vision terrified me for years following, as I tried to understand its meaning and having it convoluted by unqualified monsignors, antiquated church teachings, dogmas and scriptures. Attempting to project alleged meanings into and onto my mind about the depth of spiritual truths that are out of the reach of understanding by the mainstream religiosity of these topical institutions. The realization that I came to, after much pontificating on this vision specifically, took me years to understand that; in my experience, it was specifically revealed to me and in that revelation perspective, it was for me to be able to shine the light of consciousness within myself. To shine that light into the areas within myself that required work to transmute the inherent darkness within and to expand consciousness within my temple. This 2nd vision, upon completion of its presentation, vanished just as the first.

The 3rd vision that was revealed to me was a wonderful vision of completion. It was not until recently (and I am talking the beginning of 2020) that I was finally able to integrate this into my experience on a personal level. My Guide’s finger rose once more upon my shoulder for what apparently would be the 3rd vision of understanding. This was a beautiful and joyous vision and, to me, serves as a bookend to this personal journey. Like the last, it took me until recently, year 2020, to better understand its context related to my experience. The scenario unfolded as one and two, and in massive scale. The foreground set with the smoothest stage of pure gold with steps on either side of the stage. Again, as the recipient of the message, I was in the scenario as the main character. I was in line with others in preparation for walking across the stage. The clarity of the achievement for which I would be commended evaded me for 30 years. Though I remember it as if it were yesterday, there are a FEW days that have passed in this clock driven ‘reality’ that I have not attempted to intellectually dissect the reason for this exciting yet puzzling scene. Also, it’s purpose in the visions, sequencing, the whys of it, the true meaning and other human thoughts that allow for humility while being bestowed with such honor in a realm that I was honored to experience my place in its unique operation. In my 'religious' rearing, it was vanity and sinful to post oneself above others, let alone be the object of value and adoration, with church’s teaching that ALL adoration is saved for the religious Christ who suffered his life taken for the sins of each man How could it be that a vision revealed to me that included myself receiving adulation from the many as well as the hosts of heaven on this golden stage, clearly designed for many. What had I done to deserve this? This caused me much emotional pain for many years as my young religious upbringing would consider this entire event and subsequent thoughts related to MY place in it as heresy and lunacy. However, the end of religious authority begins in actual realm of the timeless. It was my experience, walking with my fellow brother and sister souls across that golden stage of graduation and completion of our earthly time, not just for completing deeds for others while here on the 'learning' plane, but completing the more challenging work of transforming within; and of finding death before death finds you. For me, stopping mid-way across the stage and turning my head left was a poignant moment in this 'graduation' ceremony. Seeing all the billions and billions of souls; a sea of souls, of countless souls acknowledging that we had concluded the tasks that we had set in our soul contracts before the world began. This was a moment to stop and turn to hear the beautiful song that was sung in unison and in such beauty, something our physical world will never conceive to understand is something that stopped me and humbled me. The simple words echoed by one of the greatest masters to grace our planet, Jesus, rang true to me, 'It is finished!' All the events during my experience have come to this…to get my soul through the tasks that I agreed to complete in elevating my soul. The vision as a bookend is a huge relief in that whatever happens between now and the day of graduation supports the phrase spoken by Him. It is finished.

When I came to, I hopped up and felt reborn. I don't recall anyone helping me, but within a half an hour we were leaving the location. I did not need any medical attention. When I walked out of the front doors, the world looked completely different to me. I could look at people and see their pain. It scared me and I struggled with it for almost a year until a dream I had to the same date the following year. As I laid in bed at college. Then a white light appeared at a great distance from me in my dream and then I could see it zooming toward, enough for me to feel that I needed to wake myself up, which I was able to do just as the light hit me and permeated every fiber of my being. I was sure that I would be physically glowing. I laid there for a minute to just FEEL this and then I went to mirror certain that my vibrating body would be physically glow. It was not, but I stood there for minutes just looking at myself in the mirror. I believe that LOVE was helping me as a confirmation of my experience.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 02/14/1988

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Accident Drug or medication overdose Life threatening event, but not clinical death Not sure how to answer this as it was my decision to follow the crowd with the drugs, leading to my OD.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes In my explanation I mentioned I returned to my body 2 separate times...when I did, I was able to hear the physical people around me, but then with my mind, I was able to return to the eternal realm. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was a kid basically, but after my experience everything changed...the innocence of me was gone.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? All times during the experience were high levels of consciousness.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time was irrelevant. All things happened at the same time like whizzing down a highway at the fastest speed possible, so much so that it became irrelevant. All things were just there. All answers of the Universe were available to me; all questions anyone who ever lived were available to see, but the answer was just one answer. EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED. There is only LOVE.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Things were much more vivid and truly real in the new realm. I felt it was more real than living on earth.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. All communication was telepathic.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I specifically remember seeing my Aunt Pat and my friend Lynn from college who were both alive at the time of my experience...I believe now that due to the aspect of NO TIME or simultaneous experience that that is why I saw them.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes There was a light with a being that was very tall who stood behind and it told me I would not be able to turn around, but I could see the light shining from behind me.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I was clearly a place where thoughts can create instantaneously. I was able to move from one location to another just by thinking about the place.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Joy, NO fear, Bliss

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I understood the complete Universe and my place in it. I knew that time was irrelevant. I understood EVERYTHING and it made complete sense. There is only ONE and it is the encompassing all of LOVE.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will The barrier I came to was the other side of a stream bank from where I had arrived. I was not sent back against my will per se, but the very action of not answering the question that THE voice presented to me, I believe, was my acknowledgement that I was not ready.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I no longer believe in religious dogmas of any kind with the exception of the big message which is to love. That is the only part that matters.

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated A complete shift in my understanding of religion.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience As a 19-year-old, I did not think about things like this. I was taught at church about a man on a chair, but this was COMPLETELY different. It helped me realized that all religious information is inaccurate and that earth does not understand the spiritual realm.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I no longer believe religion or the illusion of deception that is in our 3D reality. I understand that I must live here, but I do not have to take part in that part of THE WORLD. I can discern deception much easier than before and I have spiritual skills that were not there before my experience. It completely changed my life.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin A very emphatic voice came from nowhere and everywhere and it was loving. I intrinsically knew that I could tell nothing but the truth to the voice. It asked me the same question 3 different times and in between I returned to my body, but my thoughts had great power and I was able to return. I believe, however, that after the third time that the voice spoke to me, it was my answer as to return to my body and not to stay...something I regret, but I was clearly not ready.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes All questions of all people that ever existed materialized before me at various distances and then all came together in massive tapestry. The tapestry was AWE inspiring and it was then that I realized that the UNIVERSE was intelligent.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes All questions of all people that ever existed materialized before me at various distances and then all came together in massive tapestry. The tapestry was AWE inspiring and it was then that I realized that the UNIVERSE was intelligent.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes In the following vision it was revealed to me that nothing matters but love of all humanity and everything on the planet and our earthly plane...All questions of all people that ever existed materialized before me at various distances and then all came together in a massive tapestry.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes That LOVE is the only thing that is real and that the illusion we live on earth is not real. I felt this in every fiber of my free and light being.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists Uncertain I would say that the very experience itself was, however, at the time, I did not FEEL that I knew I was upon a permanent transition. An afterlife definitely exists.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes What was shown to me by my guide was that things that happen are all lessons to push us to evolve to our spiritual maturity. I also understood that reincarnation happens all at once in the timelessness of the eternal.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love was the strongest theme and it permeates everything. There is no getting away from love. In the following description this was revealed to me. All questions of all people that ever existed materialized before me at various distances and then all came together in massive tapestry.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life My experience changed the entire trajectory of my life. It continues today as I work with hospice patients and a level of compassion for human beings, I never thought imaginable. I have since come to understand that I am GOD CONSCIOUSNESS and that everything I do matters in every aspect.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I prefer to limit small talk and gossip is very disturbing to me as it can damage others so badly, so, though I may meet people who like to gossip, I don't stay close to them, so my circle is small and I am ok with that. I have a lot of acquaintances, but the REAL people who understand what is going on in this illusion of 3D- life are the people I most like to surround myself with.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. It has been over 30 years and this is the MOST impactful experience other than being born to earth.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes After my experience and over the years, I have noticed that I’m much better at being able to connect with people's energy and that I can accept or leave it. I have better sense perception of people and intentions.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? NO

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It was probably 5 years before I shared what had happened due to the nature of it. I thought I would be judged and my experience would be marginalized because it was drug overdose related. That it would be easy to write off as a hallucination, so I kept it to myself and struggled with it greatly until that dream the following year. That helped. I did also continue to not claim my power and judged myself for years, but it subsided enough for me to share with close people or if it came up organically.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was probably 5 years before I shared what had happened due to the nature of it. I thought I would be judged and my experience would be marginalized because it was drug overdose related. That it would be easy to write off as a hallucination, so I kept it to myself and struggled with it greatly until that dream the following year. That helped. I did also continue to not claim my power and judged myself for years, but it subsided enough for me to share with close people or if it came up organically.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It has proven to be completely legit. I can see it all around me always though the ego would like to say differently.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No