Johnny F NDE

Experience Description

NDE 2014

I had been very ill with Twar, a bacterial lung disease, for about a year when this happened. I could walk or be active for only about 10 minutes. I had a fever for 3 weeks. I was always exhausted and it was difficult to breathe. I had the constant feeling of suffocation. It scared my wife how I sounded when I was sitting and sleeping. It became less stressful to sleep sitting up in my own room.

My professional life up until then had been working with psychotherapy, crises, supervisors, among other things, in hospice, healthcare, social services and other things. Coming from an upbringing where there was a lot of death around me, this experience laid the foundation for a lifelong interest in the research of NDE. I read a lot on the subject. I had been to lectures and etc. I wondered what it's like to die and what happens next. After research, it may feel like I knew a little how it will turn out.

One October evening about 10 years ago, despite medication, I couldn't breathe. In the panic that followed, I took the wrong medicine and my breathing stopped. I panicked because I couldn't call for help. It was the scariest moment of my life. Then I felt my heart stop beating. There was complete silence in my chest and I gave up. Everything became still.

I was completely mesmerized by a giant face starting to appear on the ceiling. It smiled lovingly and warmly at me. It sank towards me, or I floated up towards it, I don't know which it was. Suddenly, I was in a vibrating, vivid, incredibly bright landscape. It was brighter than anything I've ever experienced. I experienced a sense of home that was of such a magnitude, it is impossible to explain it. It was as if my whole life had been a dream and I had woke up from it. Everything was so much more real and so home-like. I had come home and was so happy, even that is impossible to explain. How do you describe a Happiness that is a million times stronger than when you had your first child? It doesn't work in human language.

I felt filled with everything. In connection with that, there was a figure of light who was so bright that I couldn't see the facial features. He knew everything about me. By that, I really mean everything. He knew the ugliest thing I thought and the nicest thing I did. He knew it All. Yet, I felt loved. He asked what I had done with my life. Then everything that happened in my life was replayed. I lived it again. Since I was 57 years old at the time, it was 57 years that passed in an instant. I got to see every moment from my perspective and also from the other person's perspective. It was excruciating at times and I felt a great pang of selfishness and self-absorption from me. Despondent, I said, 'I had failed.' But the light figure said with an almost humorous warmth in his voice, 'Nothing was wrong. Everything was perfect. As it should be.' He said that I was human and as such, it is not possible to do everything right. It was about learning. That love and its consequences mean everything. I was so liberated and happy. Then he asked me if I had any questions. I asked about war, environmental destruction, evil and everything I have reflected on during my life. As the questions went along, it was as if I changed. I understood more, until it felt like I understood everything; which was that everything is as it should be. Everything will be fine. I understood that it was so. It was like I swelled, got bigger. Everything was getting brighter. My experience is that we had endless time together. Everything was eternal.

Then he told me that I was going back and I'd get well. Until then, I had thought nothing of my family or children. Then it was like being sucked through a narrow tube at extreme speed. I was lying in my body in the fetal position. The sun shone in through the blinds. I had the happiest morning I have ever experienced. I ran happily down to my wife as I felt that now I must tell everyone how it really is. Everything will be fine.

My wife was sad when she realized what had happened. She was not happy like me. After a few confusing weeks, I started to learn what I know now. That even if I know how it will be, it cannot be explained. It's like describing a destination but only getting to use two letters in the story. It has been extremely difficult to live with at times.

Now 10 years have passed. I am permanently changed by the experience. Part of who I was there in the light remains. So I'm like a double exposure. An eternal self that knows and an ordinary person like you.

So I do like most others who have experienced this, try to show a little of the love that was my home in eternity. I try to help others become a better person. And for me to be a better person. But, I know that everything will be fine in the end.

Nothing in my experience was what I thought I knew before. I didn't realize how incredibly big the difference in reality here and there really is. I also didn't understand what it's like when time no longer exists. I didn't realize what it is to be completely loved and to swim around in love. But it doesn't matter. Everyone ends up there in the end.

Additional comments:

Hi again Jeffrey,

First of all thank you for what you gave me, change to integrate and accept what happened to me. It’s like a healing process that started with your questionnaire and then continued with your warm, caring answers by mail.

Ive taken hours and hours to write down all I remember and all that I thought about it. It was I some sense a tough process having to deal with my life review again. But everything else was liberating.

Suddenly yesterday I came to a stop. My brain almost felt swollen of all that I tried to understand.

Then really early this morning this happened:

———

I just woke up. It's the change to winter time. It is far too early. The time is 04:30. But don't dare to fall asleep again. Afraid of forgetting.

I was awakened by the voice I recognized from the light figure whispering in my ear:

- Don't try to understand, accept. Don't try to understand, accept.

It was like a mantra that was whispered over and over. So I woke up to the sound of it, but like in my NDU it was in my head it sounded.

I answered within myself that I wanted to understand.

The voice laughed softly.

- A child can understand the only rule that you bring back with you. Everything is love. It's all about love. Love is the goal of all that exists regardless of where and how it exists. When you try to understand what you experienced through your mind, your logic, you limit it. When you try to understand what you have been through through your emotions, you hold it. Accept it. All decisions in life need to be tested by the only valid question: Am I doing this out of love?, if you follow that rule, you follow what your life is ultimately about. Then you do what you were born to do. Everyone who comes here experiences this. They experience love. That is what they will take back with them. It is the origin of all that exists.

Then it didn't become a book, I say back.

The voice says with a smile:

- You knew that from the beginning... Your story contains basic human behavior. You want to understand. Many will recognize themselves in your own oscillation between reason and feeling. What you need to understand is that the mind has a built-in weakness. The mind confuses emotions that lie in the primitive drives of man with emotions that originate in your origin. That is, you, all of you, are a part of me. Love is the origin and the goal.

I feel a soft, loving caress on my cheek.

Joins even wide awake. Goes up, rests the dog in a dark Västerås (my hometown in Sweden) and gives him food. I sit down at the computer and write down what I experienced. Feeling a deep peace and joy.

———

So now I am at peace. I can rest and I now know how to do with all that happened to me. I will try to follow that one rule by saying am I doing this out of love. So simple :)

Have a really good day Jeffrey. I see you and your NDERF as a savior for me. It made me whole contacting you.

Warm regards

Johnny

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Hi.

I trust you and your organisation completely.

You are free to use whatever i tell.

You have given me a great gift wile listening to me and asking questions. So its both joy and relief.

An after effect is that my memories get clearer and more complex now when they have been expressed finally. Its lika a healing process. And while more at ease i get more memories.

Just one thing more:

It’s about our conscience and about fear.

What i experienced after a while there in the light and after remembering my life and becoming something more than just Johnny was that some emotions was absolutely absent, non-existing. It was all kind of fear and all feelings that are related to fear. It was like it was a feeling that belonged to my world when i was in my body. It couldn't be found there at all.

Next was our conscience. Here conscience is in the background in our mind and sometimes hard to reach in some situations.

But there conscience is always a part of our soul and always absolutely active on a level that is unimaginable. So there its never hard decisions. Doubt is also totally nonexistent. You know, you will, you are.

So when you asked me about my questions and the answers i got. It’s important that the feelings i mentioned isnt part of the process at all.

So when you look at lives where you choose a life in sickness, in war, in abuse its chosen from your soul without any kind of fear, doubt. You just know what you shall do.

So the determination you feel when you start to become the bigger self is impossible to understand.

Its strength at a level that is beyond understanding.

And this strength is there hidden in our daily lives. This is one of the most difficult things to accept. Even if i feel like a coward sometimes and are ambivalent thats my and your souls true essence.

Kind regards

Johnny

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Hi Jeffrey,

Your answer makes me both honored and happy. I will try to answer in English. I hope that makes sense.

Having this kind of experience deep inside and having to keep quiet about it for so long is very exhausting. By telling your organization and now you, if it is such a relief. To finally be met with respect and interest is a liberation. It's like I've been holding my breath for 10 years and now I can take a deep breath for the first time.

I will try my best to explain more.

But the very memory of this experience is like an extremely large zip file and I only have an old DOS computer to unzip it.

So if I try to access this memory and understand what I'm accessing, it's almost an impossible thing to do. The trick is not to try to understand it and relax. Then fragments of these memories begin to surface in my mind. I have been a teacher of mindfulness for 40 years, so I am trained to observe thoughts and feelings. I think that is an explanation why my story might be perceived as easy to read and understand. But that's just my guess.

I noted that in the example of my text you sent me, the luminous figure I was talking to was not a "female", it was definitely a "male". I guess my spell check or google translate changed his gender.

I know what his voice sounds like. When I think of him, his voice is soft, lovable yet deep and beneath the surface strength and wisdom beyond all limitations, yet as kind as a friendly lovable child. With humor and easy to empathetic laughter. I did not hear it with my ears but in my mind. The sound of his voice alone gives me strength every day. It makes me remember how our conversation started.

All these questions and answers were first as on an easy level. Then it became extremely complex, fast and accelerating in all directions. So the process he was talking about was (as I understand it) that we are all part of Him/God/Oum or whatever we want to call Him/It. And that we are all like explorers to explore and develop love in its deepest nature. We all have like a GPS within us that always knows which direction Home is. We know the direction but it's up to us to figure out how to get home. At the beginning of these extremely long processes, we long to (I know this sounds strange, but we long) to face even the opposite of loving in order to fully understand the true nature of love. And as we learn more and more, life after life, we encounter more and more complex discoveries, which makes us seek more and more complex challenges. The more we develop, the closer our spiritual self and our material self become to each other. In the end they become one. Matter and Spirit react alike. The road there has then gone through joy, pain, happiness, violence, pity, mistakes and tragedy until one day we fully understand what love is by understanding what the opposite of love is. Because we have experienced everything.

What I learned there on the other side is that there is no fear. Fear only exists here. So therefore there is no fear of being born into a difficult life as it means more learning and closer to light and love.

We are incredibly brave loving explorers about to experience all the mysteries of life in our journey to understand the true nature of God.

That's where my brain likes to stop and now my ears are smoking from overheating :) So I'll probably stop there. This was just a small, small fragment of our discussion.

So this was a simplified version of the pep talk that was given to me. I love being an explorer.

Kind regards

Johnny

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 10/17/2014

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Illness Allergic Reaction Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function)

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. Almost impossible to explain. How do you say that you are 1000 times more aware than normal? The difference is indescribably great.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As soon as I left the body and during the time that the experience unfolded

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. The time is not there. It feels like I was there for an eternity and a moment at the same time. That state felt completely at home. It was so homie that time feels strange now that I'm not there.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. 360-degree vision, hyper-sharp; both near and far.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was more telepathic in thought. But "knows" how the voice of the light figure "feels"

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes There I slipped "through" a big smiling face. Back to the body through a narrow passage at extremely high speed.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The magnitude of the light was incredibly bright but not blinding, colors were vivid, energizing

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. It was otherworldly beautiful beyond all understanding, I somehow knew what it all looked like. a beautiful valley, mountains in the background, a bright light between two mountains that was the way further into this world. But, it was for those who would stay there.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Euphoria, peace, stillness, togetherness, Happiness, security, liberation, closeness and everything times a million ie. beyond any normal scale.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. I got the question from light being or god. Do you want to know something? I asked all the questions that had been inside me since I was born. As I asked further, my inner knowledge grew and I somehow got bigger and bigger until I understood everything. There were no restrictions. I felt the light being so happy from all we shared. That it was important.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control. I got to experience my whole life from birth to date. Both from my perspective. Based on the other people. I became them and could feel everything they experienced. All they thought. extremely painful at times. It all felt like my entire life (57 years) and at the same time in an instant. Events rested longer in some decisive situations.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future. Hard to explain, but know that everything works out in the end. I've seen it happen. Impossible to explain. But the bottom line is that I know that (however unlikely it may seem now) is exactly as it should be.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Buddhist

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have moved between Christianity and Buddhism, also New Age when I was young. but today the religions feel like a simplification and I don't recognize myself there in the distance that is expressed towards God and the universe. so today the contact between God and me is close in everyday life. simply my best friend.

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I have been very interested in NDU since the NDU concept Raymond Moody's book was released. Attended lectures by Elisabeth Kübler Ross and others. So I had an image of what it would be like when I died. But it turned out not to be true at all. I didn't understand before how reality is there, how alive everything is, how happy you are, how love works, how deep beyond all understanding it is there (and here), how much you understand and how fun God is. How much humor and laughter there is. Had no idea at all. I have had to revise everything. So the view of everything that is around me I now see god in. Can hear his warm, slightly mischievous laugh when I see that he is in everything. So there is also a lot of wonderful things here. I didn't see that before.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I don't drink alcohol anymore. I've become a vegetarian. I'm kind and benevolent to those around me to the best of my ability. Enjoying everything beautiful around me that oozes with God, so to speak. But if I were to say everything I claim to know and fully accept the consequences, it would scare my wife, children, friends. So I'm kind of unhealthily quiet about this. I want to change that.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin a figure so intensely luminous that I could not see the features. The voice was warm and kindly humorous even though I heard it inside me, all communication was directly transmitted

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes The person talking to me was definitely something immensely more than me. not an ordinary person. He knew EVERYTHING about me knew everything about everything there was to know about everything forever. It felt like God.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I knew there that I had always been in many lives, but to my surprise after this I was not at all interested in it when I was there. What was and will be is the important thing. Not what has been. So I understand it now. Almost as if I would take the time to look at clothes I threw away. Not so fun, right?

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes In that phase of my experience where I had to ask questions and after a while understood everything. Then I now know that everything is connected. Everything is equally important; universe, animals, people, plants, suns, planets. Then there are endless other worlds, dimensions and they were just as important. Everything was loved as much as you and I. everything belonged together. But of course my brain can't put all this together that I know.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes all I experienced were different aspects of what we call god. I knew that. I was a part of god. You who are reading this are too. The power that God radiates is immeasurable. It is so caring, loving, unchanging, constant. We use all of this when we feel love. Love is the essence of God. So simple, right?

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes It feels like I got the hang of everything and it's hidden inside me like a gigantic treasure. My brain can't handle it at all. But sometimes when something happens in life, it flashes and then suddenly I remember. So everything is in there but it doesn't fit in my brain. I understand that it sounds illogical, but that's how it is

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Love, to love everything, to be governed by love in all its aspects. Love is our origin, our abode. That's the point of just about everything. The only meaning. The only rule.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes. Nowadays, it's not about believing anymore. Now I know that everything goes on after death. There is no death. What we call death is an even more vivid life.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Since the light figure let me ask everything, I did. War, violence, tragic deaths, natural destruction and everything else that I wondered about. Then and there I understood the meaning and significance. So it feels like we talked about a billion questions in an instant or forever. I remember how I laughed when the end of it all came: I thought, this can be understood by a child. How to explain it? Well the answer to everything is what a newborn baby knows. Love

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes The difficult thing is for us to discern the nature of love. Anything unpleasantly painful, evil is an opposite. So in our world, we still need it. Because we easily forget to love everything.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Oh yes. It was central to everything I got to experience. Love is the one, the original, the breath of God, that which governs the entire creation of all that exists. A baby already knows that. then we forget it.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life The crucial difference is between believing something and knowing something. Now that I know how it is, there is no longer a questioning from logic and feeling. So this inner brooding is over. The conflict is over. The difference between fantasy and reality is now abysmal. The difficulty that I didn't have before is that other people are usually not interested in my story. It sometimes feels difficult to behave normally in the eyes of others. It is in collaboration with society and society's values that it becomes difficult. Most often, it is not love that is the goal. It can feel extremely painful that others do not see that life is simple. Try to love everything and yourself as much as you can. Then the future is on the right track. It is not more difficult than that. Animals are simpler than people so nowadays dogs, cats and other animals like me much better. So the neighbor's dog sometimes escapes to come to me. I'm not so popular with the neighbor, but am with the dog.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? My wife wants a normal man who doesn't stand out. She doesn't have that today. So she doesn't really like the depth but likes my warmth. After telling a few and noticing that they stiffen up after a while and seem to tense up and shut up, I've kept quiet about this more and more often. But that behavior makes me unhappy, so I need to change it.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Everything was more complex, alive, multi-layered that words become so limiting. So to describe a trip to March with only two kinds of letters and a maximum of one sentence.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience The difference is huge. This experience feels like a mental tattoo. I think about it from time to time. It is as real today as if it happened a second ago. Like it's happening now. It's really the most wonderful thing afterwards. A piece of me remains there. So today I'm like a double exposure. Who I am today and who has always lived. It has taken 10 years to put together the unimaginable.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I often know how others think and feel, feel other people's pain and suffering, their concerns. Am now vigilant so that it should not be noticed how much I understand. They may find it scary. So I mask it so as not to stress others.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Then it will be a whole book if I have to explain. The experience affects everything in my life. Everything we do is equally important. How I think, feel, act has consequences. It is not an easy truth to deal with. But then I remember the basic rule. Everything is love, to love myself as I am loved, to love other animals, people, plants. When I remember it, it will not be heavy but light.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Told my wife right after. She was shocked and cried. My three children listen, are shaken and introverted (they are adults). So almost no one has asked for more knowledge or been curious. I think people get a little scared and back away from me or look up to me, which actually feels even worse. I just want to belong together and show love. Don't mess with their lives. People get scared or at least unsure if I tell them openly. It's about the fact that death as a concept scares them. So they get blocked after the word death is mentioned.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Via books, lectures, etc. Have read everything there is in the subject, research and other things because there were a number of deaths in my family when I was a child. But as I mentioned earlier, getting an NDE was nothing like I thought it would be. So my imagination didn't match reality

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It is exactly as real today after 10 years as it was then. there is no difference

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real immensely more real than the everyday reality I experience here. Everything lives there and oozes love and reacts to you. Here everything is a pale slightly stiff copy.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? For now, that's enough. Otherwise, it takes several years to tell and then it becomes a book.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Not that I can think of right now.

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