Joseph C NDE

Experience Description

I was a heroin addict, living at a friend’s house at the time. I locked myself in the bathroom and decided to take a shot of heroin approximately three times bigger than I had ever taken before, with the intent to kill myself. I had recently relapsed because of a breakup and was very depressed. I hit the vein and pumped it in. Instead of sitting on a toilet seat I made the decision to unlock the door and go lay on the couch to be more comfortable to enjoy my hit. This decision saved my life. All I remember was walking out of the bathroom. I apparently did make it to the couch.

The next thing I knew I was in a very bright, unearthly, white place with literally no dimensions - only a door up ahead. A man had an unbreakable grip on my arm, and we were walking towards this door. He said ‘once you go through the door, you can never come back.’ All I knew was I had to not go through the door and to do everything I could not do. He repeated those words again and again.

Meanwhile, my friends were in the kitchen out of view from me. They heard me making a snoring sound, which is a sign of heroin overdose, and thought I was joking until they heard me crash through the glass table. They both ran in and saw me on the floor. My face was blue and I had no pulse. A few days beforehand I had got Narcan (an adrenaline) from a syringe exchange, and by pure luck had shown both of them how to use it. It took about two minutes of CPR on me before they remembered that there was Narcan in my backpack.

For my part, I was so close to the door and the man took a key he had around his neck, reaching to unlock it. Just as he did, I snapped back up, having Narcan injected in my system. Immediately I saw both of my friends crying their eyes out. My face was still grey/blue. I cried for a good hour or two, and called everyone I knew to tell them how much I loved them and how important it is to live life to the fullest.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 2-20-2010

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt. Drug or medication overdose Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness All I know was it was like being in a dream - you don't question how you got there, you are just there. I also remember the feeling similar to going to the Principal’s office, almost like I was about to have to answer for what I had done, and how badly I needed to avoid the door. Also, how unbreakable this ‘man’s’ grip on my arm was. It was normal, only in the sense that I was thrown immediately into this place with no recollection of how I got there. Similar to a dream, you don't question it.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything seemed brighter.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The only words spoken were what the man kept repeating - ‘Once you go through the door, you can never come back.’

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

The experience included: Tunnel

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt that it wasn't my time, and the need to not go through the door. I can't really put any earthly feelings to this, and I wouldn't call it fear.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes It was like the middle ‘room’ between life and death, and there is obviously a key holder.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience There is definitely a border between this world and whatever comes next.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes You could say that today I am a polar opposite of the person I was at that time.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists┬

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain I didn't go through the door, and I feel in order to get an answer to that, you will never return.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists┬

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Not compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Large changes in my life. Sobriety, happiness, family life, love and health are my life's basis now.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes Right after it happened I cried for a good two hours, calling pretty much everybody in my entire phone book and apologizing for hurting them/telling them how I loved them depending on our relationship at the time.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain It's difficult to remember what the man looked like, and the non-dimensional, white room. I plan on getting hypnotic regression soon to see what comes up.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience The reason I remember this so clearly is because when narcan is injected into you, it rips all the opiods attached to your brain, immediately bringing you in to sobriety, and extreme withdrawal. I quit heroin after that.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes So many - dreams foretelling future events; contact with dead friends and relatives; ghost sightings; ability to read and feel energies; and sometimes hearing people's thoughts.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Everything I have explained above, especially my psychic and spiritual awakening and loving personality, mean the world to me.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No