Joy MM NDE

Experience Description

I talk about several experiences. This first one is about my mother's account of her NDE in January 2023. She died later that same year on July 7, 2023.

I also had a few NDEs of my own, which are relevant to my mother's story, so I am including them. I am only going to talk about them briefly, but will write about them later individually.

The reason this is relevant, is that my mother always felt that my experience may have been a dream or induced by the surgery and anesthesia or some other explanation but because she had no proof of the Near Death Experience actually being something that happened, she questioned it my whole life.

After her NDE she shared with me that she now understands what I was trying express to her about God and Love most of my life.

After 50 plus years of her, constantly dismissing my experiences saying I had only the experience/memory of it, and the fact that I was near death, did not prove it was real to her. This was a source of contention between us.

But when she unexpectedly had one herself at 82, she understood completely what happened to me when I was a child and was excited to tell me about her experience, and how real it was and that is why my stories are relevant. She also said she wasted a lot of time doubting me.

This made me laugh.

My mother although somewhat religious was skeptical most of her life at the existence of God.

I often asked her why she went to church and studied religions if she wasn’t sure that she believed, in all of that. She said she’s trying to find God and she figured that’s the best place to do it.

I couldn’t argue with that reasoning, she did study a lot different religions, trying to find the answers to life. I think also because my mom led a life that was difficult she felt unloved by the world. I included the full obituary at the end of this article so you could know more about my mother and her life and her beliefs.

I think like me she wondered why there is so much pain and suffering in life. If there is a God; that he perhaps would not design humans in such a way that they had to suffer like she did … and so she questioned 'God and his existence' because of her suffering and notably the suffering of others. The abuse she suffered was so severe that she actually ended up opening many battered women shelters in Arizona. There are articles below about her life and accomplishments. She wanted to help other women not suffer like she did, which is what she taught me my whole life, to help others. This she knew intrinsically was her purpose!

I think for many other reasons too… she doubted God. She was a scientific person; her mother was a Christian scientist. Also, my mother, being a Colonel’s daughter of no nonsense kind of person was wanting to see proof, before she believes something.

Like my mother, I believe we all have questions like this, about the reality of God. However, I believe it’s our faith that brings us back to seeking the true meaning and purpose of life. Which leads to Love and God.

We discussed the meaning of life more than probably any other topic together over the years.

I thought helping her find her faith in God would help her with her depression, and maybe she could feel 'truly unconditionally loved' at some point in her life. But this never came until the last year of her life.

Finally, when she had her near death experience, she lost all fear of death, and at this point she 'knew' that she was loved. The story is quite remarkable.

My mother's NDE is the most remarkable thing that has ever happened to me; even more remarkable than my own Near Death Experiences.

I’ve always believed in heaven. I think mostly because I left my body when I was small 6-7 years old. I had my have my adenoids removed. I had developed a very high fever and I left my body. They canceled the surgery due to fever but they had already given me the anesthesia. My mom said I had a bad reaction due to the very high fever I spiked. Mom told me she thought I would die because I was so ill and so did the doctors. I told my mom about my experience after it was over.

I told her that I was with a man with a white beard who I thought was my grandfather, I sat on his lap and played with his beard. He was so wonderful! I felt safe and loved. But then the next day my only living Grandfather came in the hospital room. I became very upset because he did not have a beard. I wanted to know what happened to my grandpa with a white beard. This is my mother's account as well my grandparents also my clear memory. My mother was confused by this, as was as my grandfather because he never had a beard and we were very close at this time. So, my confusion about the beard was very telling of what happened to me. I remember flying around the ceiling looking at the cage/children’s hospital bed I was in. I could see my body writhing on the mattress. I’m not sure I realized it was me at the time. I was in that crib type bed because I was only six or seven at the time. I remember how much I hated being in there telling everybody I had a big girl bed at home before my surgery and that I didn’t need to be in a crib.

When I left my body at some point, I could see the crib and myself from a perspective above, and it was a metal cage and I was in it writhing about. I told my mom about this experience when I came out of it. I told her that I could see the maid at our house and that she was taking care of my brothers and sister while my mother tended to me. She was an African-American woman, and I never met her but I knew that she was there taking care of my brothers and sister. I saw her there at the house with them. It was like I was two places at once.

My mom wanted to know how I knew all of that, because I had never seen this woman before.

I concluded many years later that I must’ve had a Near Death Experience after reading Betty Edie’s book about near death experience. I realized that is what happened to me when I was a child. I really never found any context to put it in until I read this book. Then it was like an aha moment.

I also had a second Near Death Experience when I was electrocuted, trying to unplug a pool pump at the age of 12. I was at my best friend's house, and the pool pump became erratic. I thought we would get in trouble, so I got out of the pool and went to unplug it. I was standing in a puddle of water. I was electrocuted immediately.

I immediately left my body and quickly rose up very high above the houses. I could see down Lewis Street all the way to my house. I could see the street light where we played hide and seek every night. I saw all the pigeon poop on top of the roof at my friend's house. I remember a flash of light, and it felt like somebody pulled the cord off of my hand and then pushed me backwards all at once. It was like an explosion going outside of me, not in me like electricity might affect someone.

There was nobody else outside of the pool at this time to help me. I felt a jerk/push. I had a small nasty burn on my hand, and I was on lying on my back in the grass away from the large puddle of water I was standing in during the electrocution.

I was back in my body but totally stunned and frightened by what happened. I was not afraid of the experience, but was afraid of getting in trouble. After this experience, I thought I was in trouble and I ran home to tell my mom what happened and how I left my body.

My father was an electrician, and he became very angry. This was in the summer of 1972. I wasn’t allowed to play over at her house anymore. It was kind of a big deal in the neighborhood and everybody was shocked that I did not die.

At this point, two times in my life I have had something unusual happen to me like this, I have always believed in God and in heaven, and angels for that matter. and I’ve never doubted it even before this electrocution happened. I was raised a Catholic. But I never believed everything I was taught. After I had my adenoids out I felt different, I was so sensitive to everything. That was difficult for me. Not understanding what happened to me or why I felt different. But I say now to everyone, that my religion is love. I do not believe in organized religion personally.

My mother and I always had discussions about God; whether or not he exists, is he real or do we all go to heaven? She did not believe that for sure, as her doubts were deep. Although, she was hopeful that it was true. Hope is what we must all hold on to. I will eventually write my story about these NDEs as well, but as I said, these experiences, were not deep compared to others NDEs or even my mother's NDE.

My experiences were rather simple: I did not see a tunnel. I did not see heaven. But I do believe the man with a beard may have been God, an angel, or a Grandfather I never met? I was sitting on his lap while near death. But that is the extent of my NDE experiences. These experiences definitely stand out in my memories as profound life changing and very odd and very real.

After my 1st NDE happened, just after I had my adenoids removed, I could sense things, I was very intuitive as a child, and often felt like I could hear people thinking, and feeling that made me want to stay away from everyone! I also felt like God was always watching me and I never wanted to get into trouble. I also remember thinking that God could see me go to the bathroom and that from my young perspective was weird for me.

I could feel the universe watching me speaking to me and telling me things I perhaps should not know; protecting me so to speak. I paid close attention to this. How could I not? It was very hard not to be aware of the inklings I heard that were clearly not coming from me. I never felt alone. I always felt loved by God. I have to say this special intuition that I developed after my NDE as a child definitely kept me alive, but that’s another story.

My mother was a remarkable woman who did remarkable things on earth. She helped thousands of battered women and children as the founder of the Chrysalis Shelter in Arizona for battered women. I could not be prouder of her mark on this earth of reaching her goal of helping as many people as she could. She is still helping people beyond the grave as Shelter she created, is still running strong after decades of service to the community.

We’ve always concluded in our talks that helping others and lighting their way, helps light our way as well. And this always leads to magical things. We both believed that we were born to help each other, this includes everyone on this earth. Helping one person helps millions, like a drop in the water, it spreads. This is what she taught me as I grew into an adult. She said helping others is the key to life. Having said that, her lack of faith that God and heaven really existed kept her depressed and most of her life.

I know she said she often felt unworthy, and that God may not love her or forgive her for her sins and etc. I really don’t know all of my mom's sins, but I do know she always felt like she failed as a mother. I always tried to remind her that she was a child herself when she had all four of us children. She continued to be pregnant 4 year’s consecutively and then after this lost two full term babies consecutively at the hand of my father. She was being beaten and severely abused regularly by my alcoholic father, as all of us were over the years. This contributed to the loss of her two unborn full term babies. He was finally forced to leave when I was 12. My mother filed for divorce, and I’ll never forget the violent scene the day he left. my father in a rage picked her up and threw her over railing and the bushes into the mud and rain. I will never forget the look in her eyes and face of 'strength' and determination as he packed his stuff in rage left in the rain that day.

After she was thrown into the mud, and he left. My mother cleaned herself up. She was laughing and dancing around telling us how she was so happy he had to leave. We made popcorn and watched the rain through the window. It rained all afternoon, and everyone was happy that day. I will never forget that day, I still love watching the rain and eating popcorn. It reminds me of the feeling I had that day, that we were finally 'free' from my father. Anyhow, I don’t mean to get off track. I am sharing about 'her journey' right now. I just wanted you to know my mom’s mindset before you read her NDE.

My mother's name was Joy, she talked of the angels in detail after a difficult very surgery several months before she died at the age of 82. She had to have a knee replacement because had a bad fall and shattered her knee. She already had severe heart problems. The doctors told us she may not survive the surgery but she would surely die without it from infection then sepsis which would have been an agonizing death. It was a very difficult and long surgery. Although she was quite drained from surgery, she was so excited to tell me about the angels and her trip to heaven. She talked of a place where there were no negative things only love. She said she skipped high above the universe with a little girl who she concluded during her experience, was an angel. She said she was not sure it was an angel at first and then she said to herself in this moment. But of course, it was an angel! It was so simple. Then acted like she was being silly for doubting it.

She also said it was a familiar angel that looked kind of like me. She was very excited about this experience. She was especially excited to share it with me because she 'knew' she was in heaven. This was something she would normally never 'ever' say to me. She finally knew what I have known all along and we could share this 'knowing' together.

Her doubting this stuff her whole life has been difficult for me personally. She could not understand the level of love God has for us. But I could always feel it even as a very young child. and I knew there was much more to Love, God, and Heaven than what they were teaching us in church.

Mom then proceeded to tell me more about heaven, she said the angels who also looked like regular people too, were 'trying to solve the worlds problems'. She said that everyone was very busy with this project and there was no fighting amongst anyone. There was complete unity and total fairness and a theme of understanding. Most of all she felt so loved and accepted and included in this place she perceived as heaven and felt like part of everything. This is something she never felt on earth. She also said she was seeing most of this as a spectator, but still felt included. She often felt alone or unloved by the world. I tell you this because towards the end of this experience she told me the angels unwrapped my heart (me her daughter Kathy) and showed her how much I loved her. The angels said to her 'see how much Kathy loves you'! I felt all of this was quite profound considering she was just out of a serious surgery. I did love her with every fiber of my being and the angels showed her this many months before she died. This was the most beautiful profound thing I have ever heard my mother say to me.

It was all so surreal coming from her.

I thought to myself, 'The angels know my name?' This pierced my heart and brought tears to my eyes.

She said she went to the most beautiful place she had ever seen.

Mom was struck by how green everything was and comparing it to Washington DC where she grew up as a child. Instinctively, she said she knew that it wasn't a place on earth. Mom said it looked like a large park with rolling hills and trees and flowers of many colors that were glowing and waving in the wind. She said everything was so alive. She could see and hear children laughing and playing. She said everything was warm and happy and shiny bright with sunshine. Joy said everything in this place was working in total unison. She concluded that she must be heaven because earth is not like that. She also said that earth and all its chaos does not seem as real as heaven. I wrote all of this down as she was telling me so I would remember exactly what she said in these rather spiritual moments with clarity. She said she did not see her loved ones who passed but could feel them there. This rare experience brought great comfort and peace to her restless heart.

This account of her NDE was the most remarkable thing my mother has ever said to me

What she told me unfolded over hours, and even days she had a extensive clear memory of it. She started to try to tell me when she first came out of surgery, but her words were a little jumbled, but I could understand that she was excited and happy, that she saw heaven and angels, but could not find the words as she came out of the anesthesia over a many hours and days her experience was extremely clear to her as she related it to me. She was no longer afraid of life or death and no longer doubtful about being unconditionally loved because the angels told her and showed her my 'very real' unconditional love for her. Her experience was so remarkable it’s all she could talk about. She was excited because I’ve always believed in God and that there was a heaven. Then she told me she knew I loved her a lot, but had no idea how beautiful it would be to see my pure love for her. She said she had no words for what they showed her.

But she was amazed at what she felt and saw with her own eyes/soul. As I have said, mother and I always went around the barrel about God, and whether or not he exists, or if we go to heaven or not. She did not believe all of that for sure, before her surgery and NDE although she was hopeful that it was true. To me what she shared with me was a miracle; a message to both of us from God.

That God and the Angels know us and love our love for each other. And that the Angels know our names. Every one of us on earth is known and loved deeply by God and the Universe.

The other thing I you need to know while you read this incredible story is that my mother always felt unloved and unwanted; not by her parents but unloved by the world. She was very overweight, almost 300 pounds for most of my childhood and people were cruel to her about this. She was also a battered women at a young age of 16, having six pregnancies in a row, and being abused by my alcoholic father. This gave her a very low self-esteem, and she struggled to be a mother to us because she was a child herself. So, she was often suicidal and depressed, and didn’t believe that anybody loved her. She didn’t believe that God loved her. She didn’t believe anybody loved her. I think she knew I loved her and my brothers and sisters loved her the way you have love for a mother. But she didn’t feel accepted by the world I do not think she ever felt 'truly' unconditionally loved by anyone.

I wanted her to know that she was loved by me. But it never penetrated the way it did until after she had this experience with the angels After her experience she shined with love in her eyes and her fear was gone. She had seen heaven and she knew it.

The way told me her experience was so touching and genuine. It also sounded to me something an angel might say and do if they're trying to convince somebody that they are loved. It was all so surreal coming from her. I did love her with every fiber of my being and the angels showed her this right before she died. Again, this was the most beautiful profound thing I have ever heard my mother say to me.

She said she went to the most beautiful place she had ever seen and that she knew without any doubt it was heaven. This made me so happy for her. Many months later and many surgeries later mom died a week after a massive stroke.

After the stroke, she could not speak very well and was not completely lucid. She became more aware a few days before she died. She attempted to sing a few lines of the song Beautiful Dreamer.

At the time I did not know what the lyrics for the song meant. Then right after she sang this, she told me she thought she was going to heaven soon. Mom touched heaven and shared it with us. My mother was quite skeptical of life after death. When she had this experience with the angels, it changed her life long belief. It was beautiful to see how this experience changed and eased her heart. Mom's fears about life and death then completely faded like she had a knowing of things to come. All things to come would be beautiful. I could see this and the love in her eyes as she parted from this world. Mom said many times how heaven was so indescribably beautiful. It comforts us to think of her there with her husband of 30 years, her daughter, her parents and other loved ones, while she is skipping through the universe with the angels. We love her dearly; and will treasure the memories we have with her.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: January 2023

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Surgery-related. Life threatening event, but not clinical death . My mother shattered her knee from falling. She had severe heart problems. The doctors said she would die without the surgery from infection and sepsis, and also they thought she would die from the surgery.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal She said It was more real than this life

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Mom said when the angels unwrapped my heart and showed her how much I loved her.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. She said everything seemed to be happening at once.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. She said everything was sparking, full of colors, glowing and alive.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. She could hear children laughing and other soul chatting and talking.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes She said everything was glowing.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm She told me she knew it was heaven.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love, understanding and acceptance.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. She said after her experience the was and understanding and knowing of things.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Select My Mother studied religion but did doubt the existence of God

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes She no longer doubles s Gods existence.

What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience My mother was no sure God, Angels or Heaven existed, after her experience She could no longer deny the very real afterlife place called heaven. Because she saw it with her own eyes and soul! She had the proof she needed to believe it was real.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I now believe in the afterlife, God, Angels and Heaven are all very real.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin My mother saw angels, and other souls.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes She said that love is all that is important. That the angels/people in heaven are trying to help the world with its problems. And that God, human souls and angels in heaven is working on this by raising the vibration of love on earth.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes She was shown that everything and everyone, everywhere is connected. We are all connected to each other and to God.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes She said she could feel God and his love through the angels. She felt the angels were of God.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew helping people was my purpose. That raising the vibration of love would bring peace to the world

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Yes, she explained she learned that we are here to help each other and love each other.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes She was very certain there is an afterlife. When before NDE her entire life she doubted there was and afterlife.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes She said she suddenly knew that we are all created with love. in that place she called heaven. That everyone and everything is made of and for love.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life She no longer feared death, and truly felt loved for the first time.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? She now finally believes that I had an NDE too. This gave us an opportunity to share this experience together. Instead of going around the barrel with each other. I no longer had to convince my mother. Yes

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes She said there are no words to describe the beauty of this place.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience My mother explained everything was very clear. That this experience changed her entire belief system. She no long doubted the existence of God, heaven or the angels. For the first time in her life, she 'felt' truly loved by God and me for that matter. This love penetrated her heart for the first time in 82 years of life.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? She said when the angel unwrapped my heart and showed her how much I loved her… this was astonishing to her. This was the highlight of her experience.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes She shared it with me and my brother.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes My mother and I went around the barrel about God and the afterlife. I had two near death experiences as a child… she always doubted my experiences were real until she had her NDE. Then after her NDE … it was clear they really did happen to me. She finally believed me!

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real She said it was more real than the chaos of this earth.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real She totally believes she went to heaven, saw angels, and felt Gods love for her.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? She believes love is all that matters now.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Not that I can think of.

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