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Experience Description 9406 NDE I had a profound NDE as a toddler when I drowned in the ocean at Stinson Beach. One moment I was playing tag with the waves licking the shore, joyful fun with my uncle, while mom prepared our wonderfully anticipated beach lunch. The next moment I remember is falling face down into the wetness of the sea, and then at once, feeling sucked away, engulfed by blackness, by profound silence, yet wrapped warm, tender, and safe. Taken. With everything happening at once, I immediately left my body, sucked upwards and backwards at a high velocity of speed toward the heavens. It felt as if I was being carried by the scruff of my neck upwards and away (like a mother lion carrying her cub); my eyes peering downward into a black void or tunnel, as I ascended upwards and backwards at an incredible high rate of speed until I was expelled backwards out of this tunnel into endless, phenomenal skies of galaxies upon galaxies of stars, planets, and uncountable solar systems, cosmic colors, spinning universes within universes, sights so magnificent, beyond any imagination! At this point, I was No longer a human being in a body, but expanded eternal consciousness - Oneness, cosmic Awareness. I was still being taken upwards, journeying thru uncountable cosmic sights and galaxies, until I stopped, and was placed ever so gently in a tiny hole in the fabric of the universe, a tiny point of light in a galaxy of beautiful stars. I felt perfectly at Home there, as if this were my nest of origin and light! Nestled in my Home, I became aware that I too was a light star, like all the millions around me, all alive and so perfect, a part of God's perfect, magnificent creation! A two-year old experiencing life as an ageless galaxy star. Amazing! Suddenly, my consciousness was pulled back to a human reality, and I was directed to observe way, way, way down through the seas of stars, through the dark veil, a tiny shape of a toddler floating in the blackness, arms and legs outstretched, sacrificed to the sea, head down, still with her bonnet tied pointy tight. Everything overwhelmed me after that...feeling and hearing a fierce sucking sound as I traveled at lightning speed downward. Feeling my expanded consciousness contract violently, opening my human eyes in a return to earth, but now as floating awareness, hovering over my lifeless form rolled heavy on the wet sand. I watched myself vomit out the sea as my father pounded me back into existence, madly bargaining my life with God. While my drowning at the beach became our family's story, 'of which we will never speak of again,' I have found this event has had a profound (unknowable) impact on my entire life, even to this day, 60 years later, where, even now, in the most intimate of moments, I can feel the Hand of God beckoning me back. Background Information: Gender: Female Date NDE Occurred: 1960 NDE Elements: At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Drowning Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) I was swept out to sea as a two year old. How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I saw my toddler body floating face down in the sea. I clearly left my body and existed outside it How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Absolutely! But what words??? I cannot compare the feeling of God consciousness with the perspective of poor, limited human consciousness... must be experienced! i.e., can you expect a goat to learn algebra? That type of difference in awareness! At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I left my body and entered Eternal Consciousness as a 'star' Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning No words to describe since there was No time or human perspective on the moment...it was an experience of perfect cosmic consciousness Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was just a mass of fleeting feelings as a toddler, trying to learn to be human, what having a human body meant, so the difference between the two sets of awareness is one of experiencing two different worlds. Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing went from being bombarded by sounds of wind and fury at the beach, to utter thick, enveloping silence as I traveled up inside the void then released into the symphony of galaxies. I heard and felt a fierce sucking sound as I returned to my body. Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I traveled upward and backward at a high rate of speed through this black tunnel Did you see any beings in your experience? No Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain I was released into a sea of galaxies with indescribable light pulsating throughout heaven's creation. Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Was taken on a tour of Galaxies untold. What emotions did you feel during the experience? Expanded consciousness, wonder, peace, joy unbounded, at being placed in the fabric of the universe as a small, powerful, point of light. Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I saw I was a beautiful and vital point of light in the fabric of the universe, and if my star did not shine as created, the universe was made incomplete, somehow. Did scenes from your past come back to you? No Did scenes from the future come to you? No Did you come to a border or point of No return? No God, Spiritual and Religion: What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated I was only 2 at the time of the drowning, so had No concept or experience yet of man-made constructs of religion. I was baptized as a baby into Catholicism. Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain was not indoctrinated into the church dogma at the time - have always felt a connection with the cosmic universe, What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic I feel closest to God in the traditional Catholic Church w depictions of Jesus and Mary and the beautiful celebration of the Mass …not a fan of the priests and church dogma that hinder our coming to God Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience At age 2, I had No 'beliefs' so was able to experience this moment with pure cosmic awareness of life after death. Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I was a pure child at age 2, so not sure of changes, but truly, I never felt integrated into my body after viewing myself lifeless from above. I knew I was a Spirit having a human experience my entire life, knew I was made of light- and that has been both an incredible gift and incredible trial. Tried to hang myself in kindergarten because it was all too much, Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I came to understand that I am a light of God, like one star shining in an eternal sky of Light, existing always...Filled with the Light of Love, and that my light is neede to complete the perfect vision of Love/Creation During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Absolutely! I was given an incredibly powerful mystical experience, which made me realize I am not only connected with the universe but that the universe exists through and for me! A beautiful Mystery! During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain I felt the Hand of God carry me through the entire cosmic experience Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion: During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain That I am essential in the plan of God. That I am to shone as a light in the world, like a star in the night sky illuminating the void. During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain I was two, so limited in human awareness, but was given to realize that I am a powerful, brilliant light of God/Love. During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes It was so clear to me that God is All in All! The tour of the galaxies and the change in personal consciousness gave me certainty that real life awaits us after earthly death. How God's creation surpasses all imagination! And that we are all made for Love, by Love, and to Love! Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt at Home as a point of Light, shining Love for God/creation. What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? I had trauma associated with the event for many years as a child...By age 5, I would become upset by something around me, and then run alone to the mirror crying hysterically, begging out loud and tearing my face: "I am inside here! This body is not me!...I am inside, trapped inside this body looking out behind my eyes!" It was very troubling and left me feeling rejected and completely alone from my peers and family. Eventually, I couldn't connect with the Spirit behind my eyes (by age 10) and became very upset. I remember crying, 'Don't leave me!" as the sense of awareness faded. It's so hard to describe, but I was aware that cosmic consciousness lived inside me and was fading as I grew into adolescence. Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Yes, but being so small, cannot speak to change, though am certain, I was not like other children of my peers. After the NDE: Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Can you adequately describe the taste of honey to one who has never tasted the sweet nectar? It's an experience to savor! Such is the futility of trying to find words for experiencing God! How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I do not have any memories of my toddler years, except for this profound experience of drowning. Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain felt others' feelings intensely, to the point of making myself ill. Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I'm struck by how we do not suffer pain in leaving our bodies, despite the worst of conditions. That the universe is a gorgeous symphony of Love! That we are loved so profoundly by God and are an essential and vibrant part of His creation story, if we can only find our light. Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes about 60 years later, before I started revisiting it and sharing. Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Was always aware of Moody's work...always knew this was all true...the hard part is navigating our light back to God on earth! What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real So real! I was also given a new level of consciousness to help me integrate this profound experience into my life. What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I knew I drowned, verifiable, and saw the entire experience play out on the same with my family as I watched from above. At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Had a vision of light upon receiving Communion, three days after my son died. Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? That it takes a lifetime to integrate an NDE, and despite terrible trials associated with this experience, it is the greatest of gifts, a sneak peek of Home and a welcoming into what awaits us all! ...amazingly taken into Love! Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? to ask: What advice you would give to other people who have experienced a supernatural NDE or OBE? Experience Description 9301 NDE-like My life was forever taken by the experience of a Eucharistic vision that has profoundly affected my life to this day. I was given a glimpse of Heaven's Beatific Vision, a look into the beautiful Mystery of life after death, of Love transfigured, and Love Eternal. A moment when the Divine came down from Heaven to console a grieving mother. I came to God in the darkest hour for any mother, three days after the suicide of my son. Yet, God not only heard me, but blessed me as witness to the Wind, Light, Heat, and Love of the Holy Spirit, while humbled at the Communion rail. This was how the experience unfolded. When I stepped to the side isle to walk up to receive Communion, my leg fell into an abyss, as if no floor were there. Upon immediate concern for this odd feeling, suddenly I heard a Swoosh! and felt my right side lift up about three feet off the ground. I heard the powerful clink of armor to my left, like hundreds of feathers made out of armor rubbing together - lifting me up by my right shoulder. Very powerful presence! Then I heard and felt to my left, a smaller Shoosh!, and found my left side being taken up three feet above the congregation. My awareness was about three feet above everyone's heads, as I became very aware of men's balding domes, and was embarrassed to look. I saw the line ahead of me to receive Communion. About 8 people. My body was very heavy, I felt as if I was being carried by my shoulders while my body dragged like a dead weight on the ground. At one point, a heard another loud Shoosh! behind me, and felt my back being pushed roughly like an old rag doll. I heard a woman's voice behind me impatiently cry, as I was pushed, 'Hurry Up! We're gonna miss it!!' When I finally made it to the Communion rail, I felt my body drop like a sack of potatoes to the kneeler, and the Presences evaporate. Suddenly, the scene dramatically changed! To my amazement, I beheld rolling, sweeping clouds (more like waterfalls of billowing clouds) rushing toward me, enveloping everything in sight, faster and faster, with incredible intensity, until the Host was held before me and everything transfigured into unspeakable brilliant Light! Bam! I left my body in that Beholding. No longer did I feel any burden of grief, no longer did I feel pain from my 40-year chronic spinal injuries, no mourning, no memories, just absolute release into the Light of Love! Home, as I now realize it! Incredible Love! At that point, I was only consciousness, taken before the Light of Jesus. Words fail to ever capture the Vision of His Glory, but the experience now is more real than anything I could ever realize on earth. Everything was so beautiful and healing! I felt as if I were dissolved into the Light, with no words to ever capture the experience. Just a falling down in awe. At one point, I was instructed to look upwards to witness a small triangular gate being carved into the Light…It was a door as for a gate, with two massive hinges on the left side. The door slowly opened to reveal a glimpse of Gold inside so intense and so beautiful, my soul all but left my body to witness it. As I watched in absolute awe, I observed a vapor drift upwards from the bottom of the vision into the Gate. (I now realize, this was the soul of my son ). While it ascended, I beheld a partial, but intense yellow-orange Flame licking slowly from the right side of the opened Gate, beckoning the soul as well as my own attention…I could not stop looking at that Flame, even with all before me! …and as I began to feel my soul internally rise toward the Flame, I heard the most thunderous, roaring, intensity of sounds, a rushing Wind, a fiery Heat, a thundering, so intense yet not scorching overpowering me, coming from inside the gate - Such sound! Such fury! As the Eternal Spirit of God fell upon me. I was absolutely overcome by the Wind and Heat enveloping me, as it rushed upon me through the Gate (I liken it as if standing in the opening of a powerful jet engine on full blast! yet, knowing that power and rush was pure source, Love)…and then as intensely as it began, the Vision snapped shut violently, and I was thrown back 25 feet into a sea of people behind me, almost hitting a pillar in the back of the church, as I felt my 'self' return to my body; clumsy and awkward, as if sliding into home base. Bam! I was afraid that people would think I was drunk at 10 in the morning because I was staggering and confused…unable to stand or walk properly. The only words coming from my gaping mouth were, 'Did you see it? Did you feel it? Did you see it? Did you feel it?' Yes, again and again as I tried to walk, while staring at the ceiling. Coincidentally, I came later to find out that my experience happened on January 25, the feast day of St. Paul’s Conversion, his own experience being stuck down by God's Light. Six years have since past. In the process of grieving and Becoming, I have found such a mission to write poetry and songs from God to invite others to fall into the blessings of The Holy Spirit. I have learned to be silent and hear His Call and to find the Eternal Life of Mercy, Peace, and true Union with the Beloved. In sum, I learned how to be touched by the Divine. Since 2016, I have written over 500 poems (or more accurately, have served as a scribe to the Voice of the Spirit). My friends at the parish have found my poetry moves hearts in the same Spirit as they were written. One example, I was watching a small waterfall on a morning walk, and heard the opening line that impelled me to put to paper: THIRST I seek the Thirst of a sinner-saint. No difference between the two. The Thirst for rest, to feel so blessed, The Thirst for Ever-You. We drink of everything but Truth, And for a time it seems, The world and all her oysters, Fill every hope and dream. Until the cup of bitterness, Turns our Thirst to silt, The taste of shame, the taste of blame, The taste of human guilt, Brings us to drink, Thy Chaliced Heart Of Waters ever pure. Of Bread and Wine, Thy Cup Divine, My Thirst now ever Yours. Every word I write is my testimony to that moment where dark became Eternal Light Background Information: Gender: Female Date NDE Occurred: 01/25/2015 NDE Elements: At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. receiving Communion Other: Three days after the suicide of my son, I had a profound out-of-body experience upon receiving Communion. How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was consciousness itself! - without the drag of the body or human memory to define or taint the experience. So vivid. God meeting God...looking out from behind mine eyes. At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? at the Beholding of the Light Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning there was no linear time as here on earth...all at once, all perfect Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. night and day difference in Vision...I saw Christ Transfigured, then sent back into this world of misery Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. the Vision was all silent except for hearing the Swoosh of angel around me, and then, the thundering sound of the Holy Spirit overpowering me with its might Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes the soul of my son rising to Heaven Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light Did you see an unearthly light? Yes a brilliant, bursting white Light enveloped me upon receiving the Host Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm it was the Beatific Vision What emotions did you feel during the experience? AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No Did scenes from your past come back to you? No Did scenes from the future come to you? No Did you come to a border or point of no return? No God, Spiritual and Religion: What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic before the experience, I was a fallen away Catholic, unable to reconcile the scandal and hypocrisy of the Church. I was molested by a Catholic priest as a child, and so have always struggled with my Faith...irresistibly drawn to God, yet repulsed by dogma and power. Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes would receive Communion every day if I could What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic After being consumed by the Light of Jesus in that incredible moment of His Coming to me, a poor grieving mother, I have now been able to look past the infliction done to me as a child because it was a human who hurt me, not Jesus...and today, I feel a Union with God that transcends all human pain...in fact, it makes for a great story of returning to God! Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience beyond any belief or description...yet, more real than this poor existence we lead Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes very strict with my moral standards now, fighting self love on every turn Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes Jesus came to me at Communion During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I saw how we are souls having an earthly experience and when our journey or lesson is complete, our soul returns to God During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes The Light, the Intelligence, the Love...All God...what we've been searching for always Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion: During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes just the Awwwwe of seeing the Beatific Vision During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I saw the incredible Beatific Vision and how souls live on Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes take Communion in a sober, pious state....that is really the Body and Blood of Jesus you are consuming. During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Dissolving into God's Eternal Light of Love is the ultimate experience...real Life begins after death What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I've gotten the wake-up call and now realize we are here to experience the full depths of Love and through that Love (charity, piety) return our hearts to God, to Home...and in return, live Heaven on earth, before we die Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes much more spiritual After the NDE: Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes oh yes, there are no words to describe, yet, your very soul aches to tell!! Even Saint Paul said, 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard what God has prepared...' How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. This was the most profound experience of my life...and has led to a transformation that could only come from God Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I am gifted to write poetry I also hear on occasion answers to a future issue, such as getting a job offer Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? after falling into the pit of hellish despair three days earlier upon news of my son's death, I was blessed to witness Gregory's soul rise into the Gate of Heaven, an incredible gift of Love to a grieving mother. Secondly, My own soul Dissolving into the Light of Love. How can one return from that?! Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My husband witnessed it and it has profoundly affected him as well. I've come to regret telling anyone else because I've been shamed and mocked. Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I was familiar with Moody's work and have always believed we are souls having an earthly experience. What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real More real than sitting here typing an answer. It is like the difference between a cartoon mouse and a real one What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real More real than even my life today...in fact, it is very challenging integrating this experience into my daily life because I feel as if I were picked up and thrown out and away from this world At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I drowned at two and was taken up into the galaxy and became expansive consciousness, seeing my tiny body floating on the surface of the sea. It was like a 3-D world compared to our singled line existence here. It reminds me of the same level of consciousness as when my soul was taken up at the Communion rail Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I would love to talk with others who have also been shown the Beatific Vision or with other experiencers with a similar story. To receive support by validating my experience and the gifts bestowed Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? what would you advise others who have had an NDE?
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