Jule L NDEs

Experience Description 6483:

My first near death experience (NDE) was vague. I remember coming out of the anesthesia feeling very frightened.

The second experience I had was more intense. I remember the void, the light, my failure to reach the light and then the horrible ‘falling away’ feeling. The dentist seemed somewhat concerned afterwards.

In my third experience, I was familiar with the void because I had been there before. I knew the tunnel and the light would appear but again I failed to reach it. This time the horrible ‘falling away’ feeling woke me during the medical procedure. The dentists were so concerned over my reaction that they discontinued me as a patient.

Before the final experience, I had studied religion, philosophy, even meta-physics in quest for answers. There was no information available in 1971. I did not have a clue about what had happened to me.

My mother took me to a different dentist who was totally unaware of my history. Now I was familiar with the process: The void, the light, speeding toward it, being unable to enter it and then the horrible falling away feeling. This time however, when the light appeared it was different. Along with the light, I had these two thoughts: ‘What is it that I can do to be with you?’, and ‘how can I serve you?’ I was instantly taken into the light. I remember laughing hysterically, not physically, but spiritually and repeating over and over, ‘Is this what it is all about?’ At the same time, the dentist was frantically and violently shaking me by the shoulders, pleading with me to open my eyes. My mother and others in the waiting room could hear his yelling. To me, his voice sounded like a sonar that distracted me from where I was. It warbled and eventually cleared and then I could hear the dentist's pleading. I was happy where I was. He was a very shaken man. That was the last time. I never went back.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: '1971, 1972, 1973, 1974'

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-relatedAllergic reaction. While under general anesthesia 'Not sure. After the third experience, the first dentists refuse to treat me. They didn't explain as to why or what happened to me. Just told my mother to take me elsewhere. The fourth time, the dentist was to shaken to discuss it. I think I stopped breat Other 'Not sure. After the third experience, the first dentists refuse to treat me. They didn't explain as to why or what happened to me. Just told my mother to take me elsewhere. The fourth time, the dentist was to shaken to discuss it. I think I stopped breathing.'An allergic reaction to anesthesia.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal It was a spiritual revelation. Everything changed for me after that.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was taken into the light.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual I can only assume that time became transitory. The first sonar sound I heard while I was in the light was distracting, like a buzz. As it warbled and cleared, it realized it was the dentist pleading with me to open my eyes. That always puzzles me. Perhaps I was in slow motion which made his first pleas sound sonar like.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Did your vision differ in any way from normal? Vision through human eyes is just so very different from vision without a body. For example, I could not see my hands in front of me. I had no physical body at all, just a feeling of self, floating in a grey void, all alone.

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? Hearing without ears. It was a totally alien sound and is very difficult to describe now.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

The experience included: Tunnel

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The tunnel experience happens after the void.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes. No religious icons, no past family, just me and the 'light'.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes At first, I thought that my curiosity drove me to that light. Later I realized that I was drawn to it.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Three separate stages actually.

The experience included: Hellish imagery

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? In the void I felt a stark loneliness. There was nobody there to ask the many questions that I had. I felt great anxiety in the tunnel, speeding toward a light and not knowing what it was or having the time to make a decision about what to do.

The experience of ‘falling away’ was horrible and very distressing. I felt I had failed to enter the light because of my own doubts. In that moment, I felt the loss of spirit for an eternity. It was like being offered my one and only chance to be with God, I blew it, and that is what woke me during surgery.

Once in that light I felt love. Everything was revealed to me. It was a truly wonderful feeling. To explain what was revealed in that split second is difficult. I can only say now that I see the same light in everyone I meet and the golden rule applies: ‘Treat others as you wish to be treated’.

In essence, no one is judged; the decision to believe what that light represented to me was very personal. My thoughts could not be hidden without a body.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I just cannot remember much now. Maybe I was not supposed to.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes The light and the tunnel represented a boundary. I could not proceed to be with that light if I could not enter it. There was a sort of test.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will The light and the tunnel represented a boundary. I could not proceed to be with that light if I could not enter it. There was a sort of test.

This was a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was ‘sent back’ against my will.

The light at the end of the tunnel always presented that border. As I was speeding toward it, I had so many questions; ‘is that death?’, ‘If I go there, can I get back?’. For me, the border started there. Always a questioning 'doubt' in my mind.


God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic I was just a typical farm kid sent to a Catholic School system

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have no desire to join any particular organized religion.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated "Wouldn't join any organization that would have someone like me as a member".

Groucho Marx

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I had just a typical christian belief.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Large changes in my life. Again, simply, the golden rule as explained above.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No. No religous icons, no past family. Just me and the light.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No My experience with a previous life was during a small pox vaccination. I have a defective gene on my mothers side of the family. I always passed out on shots. This was different. It happened in 5th grade. That's another story though.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Just that golden rule thing.

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes The Feeling of being 'love' is very self explanitory. It's not just oxygen shut off to the brain.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain Fifteen or so years ago, I fell twenty five feet from a grain bin. This did not result in an NDE. I was unconscious for a while. Just as I regained consciousness, I heard a voice saying that ‘it would be a shame to not to take this information with you’. I believed this to mean that instead of almost dying without sharing what I learned, I should, somehow help other people cope when facing death. Since then I have shared what I know with just a few. Mostly with people who are terminally ill. I think I have helped. I still think that my knowledge about the negative experience could be helpful to some people.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I've always wondered about my 2nd question to that light. How can I serve you. I feel that having both the negative and positive expereince, that I can in someway help others that have had the horrible experiences to understand that it's not falling for eternity. That the fear of death over that event can be overcome. We are given more chances than just one.

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists After many years of reflection. Humility is extrememly important. And the true question of how to attain 'heaven' is so simple as not to be understood by most. Just treat others as you wish to be treated.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain Just this desire to help others if possible

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes When my baby daughter passed away in our arms, the knowledge of knowing where that little spirit went was a great gift. There's a comfort in 'knowing'. It was very difficult for my wife, as one could understand.

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain The light is love.

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Many changes from religious beliefs, to curiosity about human behavior. I have no current religion, but my spirituality is strong in the hope of helping others. I think my wife would agree.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I can express and explain the stages of getting there. Once there, it just is too difficult to describe in human terms. It would be like describing what it is like to be God.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience The experiences were life changing.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Just that I feel very fortunate having had that last experience. If it were not for that, I could quite easily be terrified of dying.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I talk to terminally ill people. Family members have thanked me for helping to ease their anxiety about dying. I have explained my experienced to people who have lost a loved one. I have not shared with many people though because it is a difficult subject to initiate.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. Every experience was exactly the same and events happened in the same order. I have had years of quiet reflection, out in the fields, sorting the whole thing out.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It still guides me in my life decisions.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain When I lose consciousness over a shot or other medical procedure. This makes me think about the familiar, comfortable numb feeling of the grey void, while still aware of people around me. I experience a loss of blood pressure at these times.

I think that I may have had a previous experience at 13 months old during a hernia operation in 1955. The surgeons told my mother that they had 'lost me'. She fainted.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I participated in this NDE research many years ago. A book written by a woman concerning a negative experience re-ignited my interest in possibly helping them to understand why it happened.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Not that I can think of.


Experience Description 2241:

I’ve spent years trying to condense the experiences. The first experience was brief and vague and I didn’t remember much. I had some dreams of light but they faded. I remember coming out of the anesthesia very frightened.

The second experience was traumatic and more intense. The early stages were strangely familiar as I remembered the grey void, the sensation of movement, having no human form, and feeling very alone. This time there was the light, the drawing to it faster and faster, but I was not prepared for entry and experienced the terrible rejection and the horrible falling away. I felt total loss of spirit. I had scared myself out of the drug during the surgery. The dentist noted what had happened and seemed somewhat concerned. The experience caused me to have an intense curiosity of religion, philosophy, metaphysics, and ESP etc.

The third experience, I was again familiar with the grey void, the alone feeling, and having no human form. I had been there before. I knew the light and the tunnel would appear, but again, failed to reach it and still could not enter. As I was drawn closer and closer I could not control my thoughts about just what the light was, and I had doubt, fear, the terrible falling away again.

Once more, the horrible experience woke me during the medical procedure. The dentists were concerned about my reaction enough to discontinue me as a patient. Before my last experience I studied religion, philosophy, even meta- physics in a search for answers. There was no information available in 1971. I didn't have a clue as to what was happening.

My mother took me to a different dentist. He was totally unaware of my history. I myself was unsure what was happening as, at that time, I had no knowledge of NDEs but I felt somewhat prepared this time. Everything was expected and happened exactly the same - the grey void, the light, and the tunnel. I failed again. This time the light reappeared. With much humility, and a great feeling of being honored just to be in its presence, I recognized it as God. I was taken immediately into the light. This is where the words are hard to come by in the description of being one with the light. It's as though I can describe in human terms that which happens before, but words fail in the description of oneness. I can remember the feeling of hysterical laughter, not physical, but the pure energy that would make one feel that good, and repeating over and over 'is this what it's all about?' and ‘what is it that I can do to be with you?’ (after my failures), and, ‘how can I serve you?’. It was wonderful.

At this time, the dentist was frantically and violently shaking me by the shoulders and pleading with me to open my eyes. I heard it as a sort of sonar sound that distracted me from where I was. It was just a bleep but slowed to a warble and eventually cleared to the dentist's screaming. I was happy where I was but it seemed the dentist was frantic and very scared, and the nurse was hurriedly pulling the needle out of my arm. My mother and others could hear the dentist yelling from the waiting room. That's the last time as I never went back and haven’t been under anesthesia since.

I’ve spent many hours in the fields sorting out these events. It took many years. I now feel that I understand how it works. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s so simple as not to be understood by most. We simply ‘judge' ourselves in the ability to trust totally in that light. That it is good. Without that trust, or faith, there is a negative NDE and I’ve had a few. With this knowledge I’m convinced that we are given many chances, not just one as it seems with the falling away. That is my knowledge of the negative NDE. God is all loving, and forgiving. My knowledge of the positive NDE is as simple. I now feel I can see that light in everyone that I meet. The golden rule is treat others as you wish to be treated. I will add that were no religious icons or beings. The only two things that were there was the light and me. My goal in life is to return there.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: '1971,1972,1973,1974'

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-relatedAllergic reaction Other Allergic reaction to anesthesia Allergic reaction to anesthesia and I stopped breathing during surgery.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I remember the experiences more accurately than other life events that occurred around the same time. The experiences were a spiritual revelation and life changing. Being one with that light is the highest level of consciousness that I can attain. Not comparable to everyday life.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As soon as I entered the grey void, and when I was taken into the light.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster than usual I can only assume that time became transitory. Time seemed not to matter. The first sonar sound while I was in the light was distracting, like a buzz. As it warbled and cleared, it was the dentist pleading. That always seemed to puzzle me. As if I was so slowed, that his first pleas sounded sonar like.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more so

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I think the vision through human eyes is different than vision without a body. As an example, you see no hands in front of you, no body at all, just a feeling of self and floating in a grey void all alone. I wasn't viewing through human eyes. I was very aware of having no human form. In effect there was no way to hide your thoughts.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Hearing without ears. The sounds were totally alien and cannot be described.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Neither

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The grey void did not last long. The tunnel experience happened after the void. When the light appeared, I was immediately drawn to it faster and faster and had to make a decision then on what the light was. It was much like moving through a tunnel with the light growing larger and larger. I was not given a lot of time to decide.

Did you see any beings in your experience? Neither

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain It's of my feeling that any human decryptions such as beings or religious icons, means that you're still in the physical world but that seems to be an unpopular belief. There were no religious icons or past family. It was just the light and me. Once in that light, all is revealed and it's a truly wonderful feeling. To explain what was revealed in that split second is difficult. Personally, I only remember that theoretically, but I now see that light in everyone that I meet and the golden rule applies.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes At first, I thought that my curiosity drove me to that light. Later, I realized that I was drawn to it.

It was as though I was in a deep well, looking up to see just what that light was and what was 'out there'. 'Feeling' the love happened after I was taken into it. They are just my personal experiences of course. The horrible falling away happened when I failed to enter the light. In essence, one is not judged; the decision to believe just what that light represents is very personal. It seems thoughts cannot be hidden when we have no body.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Clearly mystical or unearthly realm The light can only be ddescribed as the ultimate location to be.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first, in the void, a stark loneliness. There was no one to answer questions such as where I am and why am I here. The tunnel gave me great anxiety as I was speeding toward the light not knowing what it was, and I experienced an unsure, uneasy feeling as there was not much time to make a decision. Then I became curious when the light appeared, and then doubt followed by the falling away and torment. It was very scary stuff and reminiscent of the biblical wailing and gnashing of teeth. I suffered a horrible feeling of failure and feared a loss of spirit for eternity. It was like I had been given my one and only chance to be with God, and blew it. It was so distressing I awoke during the surgery. The oneness with the light was ecstasy.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? Neither Not so much as a picture review, but condensed as a thought of is the light good or bad. I learned of absolute and total love and an absolute accepting of the end of my human life. Therefore I have no more fear of death and that makes life so much more enjoyable.

Did scenes from the future come to you? From personal future

Nothing of importance, just little things and I don't spend much time on the substance of it. It's another unpopular theory of mine this connecting a true NDE to future events and faith healing, etc. I feel it's transitory to the event. The message is all that's important.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? A barrier I was not permitted to cross; or 'sent back' to life involuntarily

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate 'Catholic, but non practicing'

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Many changes from religious belief, to curiosity of human behavior. I was raised catholic but don't belong to any organized religion now, and have no desire to join one. My spirituality is strong in the hope of helping, and I simply follow the golden rule.

What is your religion now? Moderate None

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Many changes from religious belief, to curiosity of human behavior. I was raised catholic but don't belong to any organized religion now, and have no desire to join one. My spirituality is strong in the hope of helping, and I simply follow the golden rule.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? Neither

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? Neither

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I understood everything about the universe but I just can't remember much. Maybe I'm not supposed to. The light is love. The feeling of being 'love' is very self-explanatory. It's not just lack of oxygen to the brain. Everyone has the capacity of love. God is on the inside and not 'out there' anywhere. After many years of reflection I realized humility is extremely important and the true question of how to attain 'heaven' is so simple as not to be understood by most. Just treat others as you wish to be treated.

When my baby daughter passed away in our arms, the knowledge of knowing where that little spirit went was a great gift. There's a comfort in 'knowing'. It was very difficult for my wife, as one could understand.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes This might be a better question for my wife. We were dating at this time and she knew me before and after the events. It can be difficult on a relationship and my wife is very aware of the changes. Marriage seems to be difficult at times directly related to my experiences.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Previous to the light experience, it took years to sort it out. It took longer to describe the experience of light itself, as the words were hard to come by in describing it. I can express and explain the stages of getting there. Once there, it is just too difficult to describe in human terms. It would be like describing what it's like to be God.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain Uncertain. I was operated on at 13 - 18 months old for a hernia, and that may have been my first NDE. That was in 1955.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Just that I feel very fortunate for that last event. If not for that, I could easily be one that would be terrified of dying. The whole experience is significant to me.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes After a few years I shared it with certain friends, and also when talking with the terminally ill. Family members have thanked me for helping to ease their fear of dying and so have others when I have explained the process concerning a loved one's passing. I haven't shared a lot though as it's a difficult thing to bring up. As I grew to understand, I shared more openly. Some showed interest and others didn't.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Since there were a number of experiences I viewed each one differently as it occurred. As each experience was exactly the same, in the same order, I spent years of quiet reflection out in the fields trying to sort the whole thing out.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It still guides me in my life decisions. They were all exactly the same but each time more revealing and more progressive. It was years before I read Moody's first books, and realized the similarities.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I always had problems with injections. Just when I would lose blood pressure then consciousness over a shot or other procedure, it would involve that comfortably numb feeling of the grey void, but I'd still be aware of those around me. My niece wrote a college paper on my condition, as she is a dentist. I have a defective gene on my mother's side of the family, so my niece won't treat me. One incident, when 10 years old and during a small pox vaccination, resulted in a traumatic previous life event but this was a different type of incident from the NDE's.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I think that I may have had a previous experience at 13 - 18 months old. During a hernia operation in what would have been 1955, the surgeons told my mother that they had 'lost me'. This resulted in her passing out. Apparently, I recovered.

I've contacted NDERF some years ago. I guess this question seems to press at me. Theoretically speaking, if one knew what was important to know about dying, and what happens after, what would one do with that knowledge? Also, just before I was accepted into that light, I remember asking first, 'after all the failures, what is it that I can do to be with you?' and 'how can I serve you?' It's that serving part that's always puzzled me. I now feel that if I could help just one person who is struggling with the negative experience, and reassure them that all is well and that you get another chance, then that would be my service. I do remember falling 20-25ft from a grain bin once. This did not result in an NDE. But I do remember thinking/hearing a voice just before I regained consciousness, making me realize it would be a shame not to have shared this knowledge before I died. I wasn't thinking about my family or myself but about this knowledge. I think that was a 'wakeup' call. Since then I have shared it with just a few (mostly those who are terminally ill) and I think I have helped. I still think that my knowledge of the negative experience could be helpful to some.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? None that I can think of.

Experience Description 287:

The first experience in 1971 I came out of the drug extremely fearful. Didn't remember much. In 1972, same procedure, same dentist, when they administered the drug I entered the void. Feeling of slowing tumbling through grayish void, very alone, no one to answer my questions, 'Where am I? What am I doing here?' No awareness of body. Suddenly a light appears. I immediately go to it. Sensation of speed, hurling toward the light. I remember thinking, what if this is death. What if I go there, I can't get back. The split second I have this thought the falling away happens. Hellish, the proverbial wailing and gnashing of teeth, and realizing you just lost your chance to be with God. Eternal failure. I come out of the drug during surgery scared straight. I remembered some.

In 1973, again same dentists, they administer the drug, I'm back in the void. I realize that I have been here before. The light appears again. No hesitation I go to it. Getting closer. All of a sudden I think, 'What if this is a trick? What if this is bad?' An extremely fearful situation. Boom! I'm falling away. Hard to describe this hell. Again, I come out of the drug extremely scared. I remember everything. Start studying religions, philosophy, especially God always described as light. After this, the dentists refuse to work on me.

In 1974, my mother took me to a different dentist. At the time I didn't realize what was happening. The dentist was totally unaware of my reaction. Again, when given the drug, I'm in the void. I'm totally familiar with this now and what is going to happen. Again the light. Again hurling toward it trying to put my total faith in what that light is. Again failure. Then I'm back in the void. The light again appears. Instead of going to the light I basically prostate myself in its presence and plead, 'What is it I can do to be with you? How can I serve you?' Boom. I'm with God. I can remember laughing hysterically, not in a physical way, but the impulse that would make you feel that good. I can remember repeating over and over again, 'Is this what it's all about.' Then an annoying sonar type sound. It's distracting. It is more warbled and in time becomes the voice of one very scared and frantic dentist. He has me by my shoulders and is frantically yelling at me to open my eyes. The nurse is trying to pull the needle out of my arm. A very intense moment. I remember everything. I learn true humility and now treasure it.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 1971,72,73,74 possibly in 1956

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-relatedAllergic reaction Life threatening event, but not clinical death Extreme blood pressure drop. Ceased breathing.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes No form.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I felt very conscious, very alert.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I find it hard to describe the void, the tunnel, the light, as a space or time thing.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes See main narrative.

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Just the light. Does God count as a being? Just kidding.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes See main narrative.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was total love before I was pulled back. Nice place to visit.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? From total eternal failure, to total feeling of love. I experienced both.

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I've come to the conclusion that it's so simple, it's hard to explain. It's just love.

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Humility and humility. I now see that light in everyone I meet.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes Went to the light willingly. Knew it would be good. Just wasn't sure how to do it.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No Dentist brought me from a long way back. He was absolutely shaken by what happened.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Just as most NDErs just feel great with life.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There wasn't any information available on the subject in the early 1970's. Mostly kept the information to myself until I fully understood what was happening.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Mostly the gift of knowledge. It's time for me to share it. I must have oral surgery again soon and I know what will happen. Feel I wouldn't fare well if I took this knowledge with me.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Being with the light. Doubting the light.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes To some it's very important to them. To others just interesting conversation.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I've scared doctors all of my life with bad reactions to shots and blood tests and such.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Has there been any tests involving someone that knows when he will go back to this experience. Under surgery, I know I will go there.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I attend the St. Louis IANDS (International Association for Near Death Studies) meetings hoping for answers to questions. I feel that's why I am contacting you. I've been extremely hesitant in the past.