Justin H NDE

Experience Description

I was adopted twice; both adoptions were broken by abuse. I don't remember my childhood. I joined the army at age 18 and never looked back. I made myself into a modern success story as evidenced by my running a $60m division of a Fortune 500 company. But the afternoon of February 3rd, 2022, on my 41st birthday, I was in a bad accident. I had severe injuries and my lungs were crushed.

As I was panicking and fighting for breath, I started bargaining with 'God' for my life back. During this 'bargaining' phase, my childhood memories unwound like I was an observer looking at a movie of my childhood. I was given perspective to the things that happened to me. At some interminable point, I was jarred back to the present. I was still dying. I felt the utmost, chilling cold, as God said, 'You don't bargain with me.' I snapped to full awareness and everything started going red and black. I was struggling to maintain consciousness, and deny my situation. I guess I was going through the 5 stages of grief, very quickly. I remember at least one teardrop; and when I accepted that I was going to die, my psyche shattered. The concept me of 'ME', my life experiences, what makes me unique, it all shattered and broke. In my last moments, I felt a sense of absolute shock that the concept of 'me' was an infinitesimally insignificant data point in a greater whole. As I grappled with what that 'whole' was, I died.

The best way I can describe what happened next is that my consciousness uploaded to heaven. Call it my soul. I felt like I was being beamed out of my own head. Then I was 'there.' Was this heaven? It was pure light. I felt togetherness. My consciousness; my soul and all of our souls are fragments of a greater whole that I'll call God. It felt like being on a megadose of painkillers; an absolute, euphoric, warm, fuzzy, and belonging feeling.

I didn't ask God questions. I thought questions, and answers just materialized. Everything, that includes the universe, reality, and life are separates sparks of God's wholeness. God is a scientist, the way that we would think of a scientist. The purpose of everything is to experience things, and bring those experiences back to the whole so that God can learn about it. I feel like I connected with or briefly engaged with a couple of people I know to be dead, in a 'Oh hey, you're here too' sense. Then I was leaving. Leaving was a horrible! I felt lonely and like I was being ripped away from the warm, unified light. I was soundlessly screaming in terror. And then I was back in my body.

My psyche was still broken as I had general aphasia. I couldn't remember my name, or what my native language was since I speak several. I'm a polyglot. I couldn't remember anything except the terror that I was back and I didn't want to be.

I was in the hospital for 5 months. I didn't discuss this with anyone. I don't think I ever will.

When my disability ended, I went back to work. I'm still a great problem solver, crisis leader, and an effective manager. I won't say that I'm looking forward to dying again, but death holds no terror for me now.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 2/3/2022

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) I had an accident and died, then was resuscitated.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes. I explained this already. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness. No different as far as I can tell.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Immediately prior to dying. I was fading, then adrenaline kicked me to full alertness, and then I was gone.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual. I explained this in my open form document.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It's hard to explain; my senses were more vivid than usual in that I was paying attention to all the sensations I was being exposed to.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't think my hearing was affected.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain. I definitely felt my consciousness stream out of my head, but I don't remember a tunnel effect.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes. I had a brief discussion with Steven Hawking. Like, 'Oh hey, you're here. I'm a fan.' He shared a sense of not wanting to go back to Earth, even reborn into a new body.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I explained the light in my open form document.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. I explained this in my open form document.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I explained this in the open-form document. I already filled out.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. I explained this in my open form document.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events. I explained this in my open form document.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I'd call myself agnostic. I'm not sure what I would call myself now. I don't go to church, and I haven't talked to anyone about any of this. Most of my life, I've just assumed that when we die, that's the end and there is nothing else. I don't believe that anymore.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. I explained this in my open form document.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain. I didn't ask around for Jesus or Buddha or anyone else.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I explained this in my open form document.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I explained this in my open form document.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I explained this in my open form document.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Earth is Hell. There isn't a lower dimension, or a pit of flames, or anything like that - Earth *is* what we would think of as hell. This existence.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes I explained this in my open form document.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I just explained it on the last page. This is my first time putting it into words.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No.