Kaitlin S Anesthesia

Experience Description

I was admitted to the hospital at 37-weeks pregnant for an induction due to high blood pressure and symptoms of pre-eclampsia. After about 40 hours of the induction, baby’s heart rate started to dip. My blood pressure had also risen to where I was now considered pre-eclamptic. The decision was made to do an emergency c-section. I already had an epidural so we wheeled in ready to go. I remember started to freak out a little - I also hadn’t slept in 48-60 hours or eaten. I was ready to meet my baby but also to be done. I remember asking the nurse for something to help calm me down as I was so scared. The anesthesiologist told me he could give me something but that I might not remember the birth. I said that was fine as I was too agitated and nearing a panic attack.

My timeline is fuzzy from here on out.

About 15 minutes after they gave me something to calm me down, my partner was permitted to enter the room. I don’t remember seeing her or us taking at all. I remember telling the nurse I was going to throw up, she said I wasn’t, and then I did. I also was shaking so badly they had to strap my arms down. Around this time is when I had this experience. All of a sudden I was watching the surgery from above, like a corner of the room. I wasn’t shaking anymore and was very warm, almost like I was being hugged. My entire body felt warm and comfy, like I was under the most amazing blanket.

I then was in a tunnel of sorts. All around me was bright white lights, but not blinding. Like a glow. And there was a woman there. I knew who she was without knowing her name. Like in the moment it made complete sense SHE was there but now looking back I’ve never met her. It is 100% possible this is my grandmother who died before I was born and for whom I’m named. She said to me, you can keep walking towards me. But if you do you’ll reach the point you can’t go back. You’ll reach the point of no return. And I said something like but it’s so cozy here. And she said yes. But your girls need you. You need to decide. And I remember it being a very hard decision, I wanted to stay in that place forever.

But I then remember her fading away and I became aware of my body again and my wife was slapping my face screaming. She was saying someone help there’s something wrong. She said I got a look on my face that looked like I had died and it scared her. She told the doctors who said I was fine, they were monitoring me, etc. but she said she knew me and there was something wrong so she took it upon herself to slap me! Around the same time, I asked about the baby. The nurse said she would be out soon. I then remember them telling me she was out but heard nothing. I started yelling 'why isn’t she crying? Someone tell me why she isn’t crying!!' And about a minute later, she did. A very cute cry too! They later told us she was born asleep and they had to really wake her up to get her to cry.

After the surgery was complete they wheeled us into recovery. I told my wife and the nurse immediately what happened. My wife believed me, as she saw my face, but the nurse said it might’ve been the sedative they gave me, nothing happened to my vitals etc. It took me awhile to share the experience again. When I finally did with my mother, she said when giving birth to me she had a similar experience. Eerily similar. She had never told me that story, only that when giving birth she hemorrhaged and almost died. She said she never shared her experience after someone laughed at her. Since telling my mom, I have become fascinated by the experience. Was it the sedative? Who was the woman? Why did I want to stay so badly? What would’ve happened if I did?

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 3/24/2020

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Childbirth Life threatening event, but not clinical death I was giving birth via a c-section

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes The surgery but only briefly before I moved to the tunnel I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness Normal

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I’m not sure in understand this question. I guess “in the tunnel?”

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I had no sense of time. It seemed like I could have sat in the tunnel and decided to go back or stay for however long itvtook: time was irrelevant

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision was blurrier than normal, things were present but not 100% recognizable. I watched the surgery from afar but it was like I wasn’t wearing glasses

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Slightly better - more atune

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes A glowing light All around like a tube of candle glow

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I don’t know who she is but I know who she is. I can’t explain it other than it made sense SHE was there but it Gould have been several decreased family members

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes See above

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Happiness, comforted, cozy, loved, eager, excited

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I can’t

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life I don’t recall specifically choosing to go back but I must have

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant Holidays and some services. Not serious about organized religion at the time of the event.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant Slightly more organized about going

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I believe in God and heaven

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists. I was still ME but no body

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt love but also it was clear I am/was loved. Love is also the reason I decided to come back

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life. I don’t fear death anymore. It has given me a different perspective on grief as well

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It felt unreal, made up, too insane to explain

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I remember it in great detail but I also had my first child at the same time, so I tried to memorize that experience as much as I could as well

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The feeling of safety and warmth is very comforting when I think of it

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it right away and was made to feel weird. Took about a year to share again and only because one day I googled near death experience and read about others and realized wait, that’s exactly what I experienced too.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew it was real. I knew what I saw and felt happened

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Still solidly convinced that happened

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No