Kali K NDE

Experience Description

Six months before my NDE, I had an incredibly, peculiar dream with elements of deeply religious symbology. The contents of the dream struck me as odd; especially considering at the time I was a devout atheist, and grew up with no religious affiliation or inundation as my family was generally agnostic. When I experience my NDE, I suddenly realized the nature of this dream as a sort of premonition.

The dream began with me sitting atop the branch of an old oak tree, overlooking the waves crashing along a quiet beach. Behind me, lay a thick forest. The scene was pristine. There was an indescribable archaic feeling of the site, almost as if the scenery had been untouched by human hands as it existed before all of civilization. I looked down at my body, shocked that I existed as a third-person observer. Typically, I experienced dreams in the first-person. To my surprise, I wasn't a human being at all; but a small red bird, similar to that of a cardinal. I sat next to my then-boyfriend, who was also in bird form. As we were observing the tides coming in, he points out the encroaching waves and saying that it must be high-tide. There was a particular wave climbing higher and higher. I recognize a switch in me that turned on. It felt almost robotic, and I sprang into action. In that moment, my consciousness almost separated from my physical body. As I watched myself from the third-person, I recognizing myself down below. I was no longer connected to the thoughts of my physical self, but instead began to become perplexed by my own actions. I saw myself begin to take branches from the tree in which I was sitting and fashioning what appeared to be a life raft out of the twine and branches. I understood then that this was no ordinary tide, but a tsunami was approaching. As I began this instinctual attempt for survival, my boyfriend was spleading to know what I was doing, and why I was doing it. He exclaimed that we needed to run, but something in me was tuned him out. At the very last moment, as the tsunami crashed onto the shore, I pulled myself and my boyfriend atop the raft. The wave engulfed everything in its path, and suddenly we were surrounded by a 360-degree view of nothing but the vastness of the ocean.

I began rowing the raft, with a fierce sense of urgency that perplexed myself, as well as my boyfriend. He continued pleading for an explanation that I continued to tune out. All around was the blueness of the deep sea and clear sky. Suddenly, through my fervent rowing, the raft collides with a wall. I begin to realize that the scene before me was painted on this wall. It was almost identical to the end scene of the Truman Show. I look up at this wall to see a ladder-like system, beckoning me to climb up to see what was beyond. For some reason, I was unable to use my legs to climb this ladder containing 13 metal rungs. As I began my ascent, my boyfriend stayed behind. The ascent was incredibly difficult because I could only use my arms to move up the ladder. But with each step I climbed, my weight began to become lighter and lighter as my body began to transform into a human figure. By the last few rungs, I felt nearly weightless, practically floating over the top of the cliff.

When I arrived at the top, a bright white light permeated everything as far as the eye could see; further distorting the landscape by a thick fog. The light was blinding, but not painful. It obstructed my view of anything beyond 10 or 15 meters. The only visible object was an elliptical trellis, garnished with beautiful white roses. My consciousness returned to my physical body, and my viewpoint returned to first-person.

I was dreaming naturally and felt called to walk beneath the trellis, to discover what was beyond the fog. I began to approach the structure, and after taking a few steps, a figure appeared from beyond the fog and approached me from my right. The older man was about 5' 11". He wore a long red robe and was carrying a wooden staff in his right hand. His beard was long and white. He walked gracefully towards me, stopping me from approaching the trellis by placing his staff on my chest. I looked at him curiously, asking why he stopped me. He replied with four simple words, that have stuck with me. 'You're not ready yet.' Confused, I asked him what he meant. Again, he said, 'You're just not ready yet.' Then he turned away, and disappeared the way he came. At this point, my boyfriend thrust himself up and over the cliff. He seemingly did not experience the weightlessness that I had during my ascent. He caught the last glimpse of the man before he disappeared through the fog. He asked me who the gentleman was. I replied that I didn't know. He gestured to the trellis, questioning why I hadn't pursued the path beyond. I told him that I couldn't cross the threshold. He asked me why not? I told him that the man told me I wasn't ready yet. Then I awoke from my dream.

As I awoke, I was incredibly perplexed, especially considering my lack of religiosity in the context of the contents of this dream. There was no doubt that the gentleman that appeared before me was a god-like figure, regardless if I was a believer or not. This observation was unequivocal. In addition, there seemed to be aspects of my dream that felt deeply symbolic, despite my unfamiliarity with religious texts. This dream differed in intensity from others, and felt viscerally real in many respects. However, I had no inclination as to the relevance of this information, or what could have been meant by the figure's contention that I 'wasn't ready yet.' And so, I put this dream away, unable to discern it's significance.

Six months later, everything made sense. The dream was was a premonition of my NDE. The NDE was brought about by a heart-attack. I felt intense chest pains and then numbness in my extremities. This lack of feeling began to spread to the center of my body.

I began to feel weightless, as my consciousness began ascending towards the ceiling. I looked down on my suffering body with pity. Then, the room filled with a flash of bright, golden light. I traveled through a tunnel that revealed the cosmic secrets of my place on earth. I had an intense feeling of understanding, yet this knowledge was such that it could not be described in human terms. There was a sense of calm and peacefulness that washed over me with this knowledge.

Suddenly, I experience a life-review. My life played before my eyes, detailing every supposed insignificant event I had ever had. It played before me like a film on a screen. The experience felt as if it happened in both an instance, and yet in an eternity. This dichotomous experience permeated every aspect of the event. Not only did I experience the life-review as it occurred from past to present, but also present to past. I saw every event from a 3rd-person perspective, but also re-experienced the events as they happened in real-time. I felt a wave of emotions from every event I had ever experienced, as a never-ending cycle of joyfulness, grief, love, angst, peacefulness, anxiety, and etc. The most impactful part of this experience was reliving my most traumatic moments in which I was emotionally hurt by another. During those events, I not only felt every emotion that I had experience in that moment, but every emotion that the person inflicting pain upon me was experiencing. Not only this, but I also felt every emotion that the other person had ever experienced in their life up until that moment. This was incredibly enlightening for me, and provided me a grand sense of empathy and forgiveness for the most egregious harm I've felt. It wasn't as though I had a sense of the exact circumstances of their past, or an omniscient sense of their specific history that I could take as impossible knowledge back with me after this experience. But, I had a greater sense of knowing and understanding of their emotional state that lead them to these awful actions. I also understood how my actions could have unintentional emotional consequences for others. I understood how I could be conceived as an enemy in someone else's story. Everything made sense in those moments. The indescribable lessons I learned from these events gave me an unbounded sense of peace, understanding, and empathy. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that everything happens for a reason, and moreover, that everything HAD to unfold the way that it did.

When I came back from this experience, I never let go of the indescribable feelings of knowledge and lessons I learned. I also finally understood what the figure in my dream intended when he told me I wasn't ready yet.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 09/14/2020

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Heart attack Life threatening event, but not clinical death Heart attack

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I had a sense of everything happening at once. Everything from the past, future, and present, from every part of the globe, from every human perspective. There was an inter-connectedness that cannot be described.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The Life-review.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Everything happened at once. Time was no longer describable. Events appeared to occur in both an instant and an eternity.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The events of the life-review happened in both a blip of time, and an eternity. Events unfolded incomprehensibly fast.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My normal hearing was dampened, the way I experienced 'hearing' was telepathic in a sense.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The tunnel experience is so hard to describe. I understood from this travel my own place in the universe, but also the interconnectedness of every other event and sentient being.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A golden flash of bright light, so intense yet not blinding. It enveloped everything.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Immense understanding, unfounded compassion and empathy, peacefulness, serenity.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. I understood my own place in the universe, as well as the history of all others in my life. I felt as if I understood the reason for everything, including earthly events and the natural order of the universe.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control. I experienced every event in my life that had occurred from past to present, and from present to past. The events seemed to appear from memory, as well as events that I had forgotten as soon as the moment had passed, but immediately recognized them as my own.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist I was a bitter atheist, angry at the suggestion of a divine being that allows earthly suffering

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I consider myself spiritual, whereas I was a bitter atheist before.

What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age. I consider myself spiritual, and acknowledge a higher power in a non-anthropomorphic sense.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I was an atheist before these experiences. I did not believe in God, or a divine being. I was not only a non-believer, but was incredibly angry at the thought that should a God exist, he would allow atrocities and suffering on earth. It seemed counter-intuitive to the notion of a divine being that suffering should exist, and other further instantiated my belief that there was no such thing.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I am open and inquisitive towards spiritual and religious beliefs. I am no longer angry at the idea of God. I value the challenges I face as opportunities for growth and experience.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin In my premonition dream that occurred 6 months prior to my NDE, I experienced a figure that approached me. He was an older man, with a long white beard, red rode, and wooden staff. As I attempted to approach a threshold beyond the fog, he stopped me and told me 'you're not ready yet'.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain. In my premonition dream, the figure that approached me seemed only explicable as God.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes It was revealed that all conscious experience is a fragmentation of this divine energy, and is unique by spatio-temporal existence. Yet this God energy itself is not limited by spatio-temporality, and extends in its infiniteness. The reason for our fragmented existence is for God's experience in which cannot be had due to his nature.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes There was a definite understanding that a non-anthropomorphic God-like energy governs the reason for our existence.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes The purpose of our existence was revealed. The nature of all events' necessity was unveiled as an interconnectedness.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Life's purpose is for God's expression and experience. All that is possible will be, God itself can't experience existence, and so his consciousness is fragmented in such a way that our sentience allows for a specific expression of one of his infinite attributes. This expression allows for an experience that God can't achieve on his own through his non-spatio-temporality because he is infinite by nature.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Everything that happens is for a reason. Not only this, but it HAD to have happened that specific way, and could not have been otherwise. Challenges are unavoidable, and without them, God could not extend his infiniteness and experience could not be had in and of itself.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I have a newfound gratefulness for all of life's events. I feel that life is purposeful and meaningful. I no longer view the challenges of my life with angst, but understand their significance as being a part of my story. I have unbounded compassion and understanding for others. I no longer feel miserable from the trials and tribulations I incur. I have hope for the future. I feel satisfied with my life. I no longer fear death, and feel at peace with the inevitable.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? I have a stronger, more empathetic relationship with my family. Yes

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The knowledge was so profound, so meta, that it can't be expressed in language.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. This experience felt more viscerally real than life itself. The impact of this experience had more weight than any other event in my life, and so I recall it more vividly than other experiences.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The life-review gave me a sense of empathy and compassion for others that has significantly changed my disposition in life.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes A few hours. The person brushed me off, and didn't believe me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. After my experience, my premonition dream made sense, and only solidified the belief that this experience was real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. My life has significantly changed for the better. I have looked into the phenomenon of NDEs and understand I am not alone in this experience.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? My experience included a premonition dream 6 months prior, I think it would be worthwhile to include a question regarding this.

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