Katalin F NDE

Experience Description

As I was fighting to stay afloat in the freezing temperature of the water, I could feel the weight of my boats pulling me under. I was exhausted, the water was so cold I couldn't catch my breath and I couldn't seem to be able to swim, all I could do was try to stay afloat. I looked at the moon, which was full, large and low on the horizon. I said, 'I believe in you God, please don't let me die this way,' and with that I went under from exhaustion. My lungs where burning, I felt like they were about to explode and my brain was slowing down not wanting to think anymore.

I thought the words, 'release me' and in that instant I was released from my body, the pain and exhaustion was gone. I was next to my body and acknowledged it and with that acknowledgment, I started moving through a portal. It wasn't my conscious decision to do so, I was just aware that I was still me just without my body and that I was moving through a portal. This portal wasn't taking me up or down, it wasn't an earthly direction, I was aware that it was into and through, like an inter-dimensional thing. I ended up in this place like a waiting room, it was dark, not like a regular waiting room, it was just a place. I was aware of an older lady and a young boy; it wasn't that I could see them so clearly, it was more like I could just sense their presence. They were like me, a being without a specific physical presence, but more shaped by who they were. I didn't recognize them as anyone I knew nor did they pay attention to me, we were just there. I'm missing some memory here but I think I transported again or the place changed while I stayed the same.

Next thing I remember is this tear-dropped shaped orb came toward me it was clear but dense and it was meaningful. As it came up to me, I focused on it and as I focused on its colors rotating and revolving started to form images and through those images I realized that I recognized and the it all started to make sense. I cannot tell you what it was that made so much sense. All I know is that I felt I had answers to questions, things made sense and I was relieved and satisfied. The orb left and I started moving through another portal, this one brought me to 'him', who was he? He, she, it, I am most comfortable referring to him as Christ. He was home, love, I knew him well and he knew me. I was very happy to see him and he was glad to see me, he liked me, he loved me, he adored me. I was such a dark, puny, pathetic looking being and he looked at me as if I was just perfect and wonderful, fully adoring me.

How can I best explain this? I was just a young child, about four years old. It was like thinking you lost your mom but the whole time your mom knows where you are and that you're safe. So, when you find her, you run to her, anxiousness turning into relief. She is not worried she just gathers you up in a loving embrace and all you know and feel is the relief and joy of that. She loves you more than anything and you feel so safe and cared for, nothing else matters. That's what it feels like.

After our embrace we started communicating our love not diminished or set aside during the talk, I couldn't take my eyes of his beautiful face. He didn't look like a person. He was a light, the light, this light is intelligent, loving, healing, nurturing, and safe and kind. The light is wise and very real, more real than anything you can hold in your hand. He did have an outline, a shape, a form, not just a blob of light. That is why I refer to him as a 'he' because to me his form was more masculine than feminine. Every time I think back to him I smile and relax, I wish so badly I was still with him. I wish we all knew and felt him.

Anyway, we started communicating, we didn't need to speak words, it's a very limited form of communication, you know. I just had a thought or a feeling and he acknowledged it and me with him, very simple, very pure. I don't recall the exact, entire exchange but I remember the gist of it. He told me I was going back and why it was to be that way. As he was letting me know this, something was happening past him. It was like being in a dark room, cracking the door open just a bit, revealing the light coming in from the hall just outside that room. That's what was happening. We were in the dark room and the door was cracking open to reveal this place that was attracting my being like a moth to the flame and what he was saying didn't matter because I just wanted to go there, I had to go there, I belonged there. He sobered me a bit, with the reality of the situation. I had to go back. The funny thing was I knew that I could defy him I knew I had the will to say, 'No I'm going through that door,' but I also knew that he was right and that I had to go.

As soon as I resigned to go rather than defy him, the decision was made. We instantly and with great force, moved away from the light. As we were moving, I watched him in amazement. He looked very much like a God in the form of a lightning bolt. So handsome and strong and powerful! There we were back in the river next to my body and without hesitation he put his mouth over my body's mouth and he breathed life back into it and in an instant he was gone as if he had never even been there. I felt his absence it was so dark, cold, lonely, and pointless without him. I watched my body come up to catch my first breath. It was awful to watch this body come up for a breath of air, it looked so haggard and grotesque, like a nightmare. As soon as I filled my lungs with air, I jumped back in my body, I didn't will it, it just happened. Instantly I felt the mind-numbing burning pain and exhaustion that inflamed my body. I heard a voice say, 'Float on your back.' I mustered up all the energy I had to flop my body over so that I was in the position to float on my back, I looked up at the moon and thought, as long as I can see the moon I know I'm alive and with that thought I blacked out.

I woke up motoring closer to the shore; I mean I was moving so fast that it couldn't have been me moving but something propelling me. I felt a pain on my right side between my ribs and underarm, as if I had all my weight baring on a log and the bark was scratching up my skin. I looked to that area, but that area where I felt the log under me was hollow. So I extended my left arm over to my right side between my chest and arm. There was nothing there but I felt it. The pressure of my weight bearing down on top of the log so that the bark of the tree was tearing, scratching into my skin. This was real but there was nothing to be seen. I looked all around me, nothing but me in the river and me motoring toward shore but I was upright in the water and my legs were still, I was not the one doing the moving but I was moving. My feet touched high ground and I scattered out of that water and up the shore as if something in the water was after me trying to turn me into a mid-night snack. The water was so cold that when I got out and was exposed to the air my skin felt like it was on fire. I looked back out into the water but there were no logs to be seen anywhere, nothing was in the water to help explain how I was propelled to shore.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 11-17-94

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident drowning Other I can't prove clinical death because I was not hospitalized. Drowning.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I don't know how to answer this. I was conscious and alert the whole time except when I blacked out. I would say I was more conscious and alert when I was in my body because that's when I felt the danger and the pain. Outside of my body I was more relaxed because there was no physical pain.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time was not an issue, it just didn't matter.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Like when I looked into the orb, the colors the clarity was amazing.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love, love so pure I could talk about it for hours!

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal spiritual with a religious background in Christianity

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Liberal spiritual with a religious background in Christianity

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes But I forgot it as soon as I went back into my body; my guess is it's supposed to be that way!

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Words limit the experience.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, meeting him and hanging out with him. Can't wait till I go back!

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I talked about it a lot after it first happened. People were generally amazed by the story, I don't know if they believed me that it really did happen but it was a positive response. I don't talk about it anymore, not sure why, but I'm here telling you, people should know that death is a wonderful journey, it's not to be feared.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I'm sure I was aware to some degree, I was sixteen and it was sixteen years ago, I don't remember details but I know I didn't study or research it before it happened.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real That it happened, it is a real experience. Someone could spend all day trying to explain it away and I would just smile at them pleasantly feeling kind of bad for them because they just don't know.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I have tried to look at it from a scientific or speculative view but the driftwood that dragged me to shore always reminds me of how real it actually was. You can't explain that away!

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No