Katharine S Possible NDE

Experience Description

I had been in great emotional distress for a few days due to losing my family in a breakup and homelessness, so I got to the point of killing myself and choose to do so via pain med overdose. I took each pill around 2 o'clock in the afternoon of the 20th. Iit was like 40 degrees outside, mostly cloudy. I then left my house in a tank top and skirt after setting a time-delayed message on my phone; it was 2:30 by that point. I walked 6 blocks before the pills made me so I couldn't physically function. I crawled into a nearby grove behind a house, laid down and listen to my heart beat. Then I felt it stop and I faded quickly thereafter.

That was when I saw images flash and flicker by at first, then it became clear like I was sitting in a faraway place, almost dream like except I couldn't wake myself and I could feel, see, hear things like it was real life. I sat on the ground, some type of soft white/grey marble it seemed like as if it was both cushiony and rock hard at once, and there were figures up on this judge like looking stand made of the same material but I could see most of them but not all of their figures at once; there was like 5+ people. It was an open building of sorts, like there was no wall part a couple feet and the ceiling was gone, it was bright yet earthly toned.

Suddenly a noise behind me and a woman walked behind me, asked how I was here but I couldn't speak, and she nodded as if she knew it all; she had darker red hair, shorter than me it seemed (I'm 6'1), and a soft gentle voice that radiated warmth and love. She walked further up and started talking to the other figures, but they didn't like what she said. I couldn't hear it; it was like they talked on a different level even though I could see lips moving. She got more 'heated' with them, and one stood up and walked forward moving its hands in what seemed to be an angry fashion. Another 2 stood and moved towards her but they carried weapons, some type of sword on one, and a tall polearm looking weapon for the other.

The woman materialized a long staff, as the 2 attacked her. She seemed to be quite experienced and masterful with her weapon, the other 2 did as well but it seemed not quite enough as she soundly smacked them around. The others raised and joined in with different weapons but she seemed unaffected and promptly beat them up with her weapon. I have no idea how much time it took, it felt like days, but visually seemed like seconds; almost felt like time was irrelevant yet was absolute at the same time. But she stood above them, and they backed off and seemed to give her what she sought, then gestured to me and it all faded fast but I heard: You don't belong here, go home. It was the same voice as that lady who fought for me.

I woke up looking at the clouds in the sky reflecting the towns light, it was completely dark and far colder than before I laid down.

It was ice cold, I was freezing, I sat up painfully and immediately vomited, I felt like I was going to vomit again but I stood and immediately collapsed under my weight. I tried again and couldn't, so I started crawling across the ground; it was wet, cold, but I couldn't feel it at the same time; as if my senses were shot, muddled. After crawling to a tree by the street I tried standing again and had a bit better luck, so I started home which was extremely difficult. Most of the way there I collapsed again, and crawled up the street towards my house. I managed to stand on my feet again thanks to our deck railings and knocked on the door because it was locked. My roommate at the time answered and immediately grabbed me in panicked tears, helped me to the sofa and called 911 and the police to let them know I had been found. I found out at that point that it was 1230am on the 21st. I had been out for 10 hours in freezing cold.

I was rushed to the hospital and kept on suicide watch in the hallway while they waited for a bed. I was so out of it, kept falling asleep they said, and kept trying to keep me awake, I accidently jerked out my IV needle and didn't even notice until my roommate jumped up and said I was bleeding, I felt none of it because of the pain meds. Then I was taken into my room in theemergency room, the mental health staff talked to me, then the doctor came in and the first thing he asked was: How are you alive? You should be dead. But amazingly we aren't detecting any liver damage, no apparent organ failure, nothing; your blood work still showed dangerously high concentrations of oxycodone, but you seem much more cognizant than when you came in. We're going to keep you on IV fluids and watch you for a few more hours.

That was my experience.

My Primary care doctor and I have discussed this in depth many times since it happened, and confirmed I should be dead based off everything that was happening at the time: It was freezing that day, like sub-40's during the day, sub-30's maybe even 20's at night for 10 hours with just a tank top and skirt, fatal levels of medicine. She believes I clinically died that night, that there was literally no possibility that I should have survived; even if the oxycodone and Tylenol didn't kill me the cold and rain would have. Which mirrors what theemergency room doctor said, which I got information on thanks to my roommate who never left my side the moment I got back until a few days later once she was sure I was safe.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: Jan 20, 2017

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Suicide attempt Drug or medication overdose Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function)

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness It was about the same I think? I'm hoping I'm answering this in the right manner. Though I guess when that lady entered I felt less of a of need to be guarded than I do in real life.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It was highest once the 'other world' became clear and solidified, once the flashing and flickering stopped.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time either stopped or was completely meaningless. Things happened that felt like they were forever, and yet took only seconds at the same time.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It felt like I could see much better and clearer, my vision is not great 20/200 uncorrected 20/30 corrected, but I didn't have any glasses on. While I couldn't give defined shape to the other beings, the world itself and the woman felt very sharp and clear.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing seemed amplified a bit as I could hear the beings quite clearly even when they seemed to mumble to the woman, and her voice was as if listening to her in better headphones than I've ever listened with. Made my hearing and quality seem shameful.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light in the room I was in was not of this Earth, nor any light I've ever seen, but it felt earthly giving the feeling I mentioned about it maybe being setup just for me; like, it was some sort of dimensional image they created for me. But it wasn't all consuming, I could see beyond the room but there wasn't much to see, but there wasn't a definable star to emit light either.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was like another dimension of sorts, things felt radically different than anything I've felt before, but it also felt like that's all there was to this 'world' around me; and I couldn't see anything in the distance even though I could see far into the distance.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Before the lady entered the room I felt nervousness, some fear, unease. After she came in I felt extremely calm, centered, focused yet uncaring like I was in my mother's embrace as a little girl.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic I had no faith in specific human defined gods or goddesses, but believed in their existence in the universe.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Just going from believing in a Goddess after not, it's quite a big change, but I also adopted a whole new religion since; specifically, a religion dealing with magic. Though I do wonder if I would have had I not died?

What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age Wiccan, with alternative beliefs in a Goddess.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I've long believed death is more than we make it, those beings and that lady definitely re-enforced that perception. But, it also changed my perceptions on death in ways I didn't believe or expect. Such as how I'm not afraid of death anymore, I believe more strongly in a Goddesses existence, and that life could have more to it than just living because we were born. But whether it's for all beings or am I and perhaps some others special somehow?

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I've started to believe more in advanced beings, and adopted Wicca as a religion; partly because I felt a strange aura off that woman that I could only describe as magic; I just don't know how magic feels exactly? It felt like an invisible flood in the room, but I don't know how to describe it. Perhaps just a show to keep me calm?

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin The woman who entered and fought for me was humanoid in appearance, but I felt like she was far more than that an magical presence; I've often wondered if she was a Goddess, but why would one fight specifically for me?

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes This lady who spoke to me and fought for me didn't feel like just some being that existed out there, she felt something far more that with her aura of extreme calmness and wellbeing as if a mothers embrace made her feel like she may be a Goddess. But I never heard a name, her appearance didn't match any deity I know of that we have, but the others seemed cautious of her except 2 that first pulled out weapons but even that seemed more of a show, I had the impression they expected she would stand down; except she didn't, but she didn't bat an eyelash in beating their butts almost like she could win without exception.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Just the knowledge I'm not supposed to be dead yet, it gave the impression there was something I was supposed to do. But not specifically beyond that, though it has made me question if I would be returned here if I did such action again. Not quite immortality but it has made me question it sometimes. More philosophically than an actual plan to test it I should point out.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife probably exists

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain Only that she seemed concerned that I was there, she had to look to see what happened; and apparently she did not want me there yet. That almost seemed like she could see all things and just plucked my life's information out of my mind and see it like a video to rewind or fast forward at will. She seemed unphased by my life's experiences, or maybe didn't want to show any emotion, or my suicide only that she wanted me to go back immediately.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life. I'm less fearful of dying the topic of death is pretty casual to me now, but I don't fear living either (well I do but not in ways that matter to this topic), I feel more like there's someone out there who was willing to fight for my life even when I gave up on it. That maybe there's something significant in my life that will make the traumas I've been through since worth living. But I do still struggle with suicidal thoughts and actions, but they aren't related to this. I get to joke I'm immortal. lol

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It felt very ethereal, magical, like it was and wasn't fully there or I was or wasn't fully there. Maybe both? It was super real, but felt like it was dream-like or created for my presence maybe.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I remember the experience quite well, surprisingly, perhaps because I recited it all immediately to my roommate and friends to keep it in my mind while under such extreme doses of drugs, as they did help recite it back with me the next week.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes My intuition has become nearly on spot every time about things, almost like a 6th sense or feeling the future, but I can't control it I just feel it frequently and am learning to listen to it; but when I do, it's usually right and always points 'the right way' when I listen. I also seem to have a more calming aura myself, I'm really good at bringing people down from emotional extremes; not everyone, but many. I often act as a pseudo counselor to my friends and family when they need someone to talk to, and it usually works really well. Things I didn't or couldn't do prior to this experience.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The Goddess resembled some appearance of a woman I write about in my story; I'm working on a sci-fi story I started when I was 14yrs old; it's main character is a feline-humanoid (more human than feline in form) and she's a Goddess of Creation with deep red hair and somewhat short (about 5ft). I've wondered if she, and they, knew this and that's why that world and her appearance was made so? A familiarity if you will to explain what was going on in a way my eyes and mind would grasp it? Or did I sense all of this as a teen and just dismissed it as impossible, but created a book out of it instead?

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Just the time it took to crawl home, I shared it when my roommate right away until we were separated as I was taken by ambulance and she had to drive; we then resumed at the hospital and through the next couple days. She scoffed at the idea of a Goddess, but seemed supportive of me specifically. I've since shared it with others, some are fascinated, others dismiss it.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably not real I didn't quite think such a thing could be real, neither did my roommate, though some people did others thought it was a hallucination of some sort.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I firmly believe it was real now. Now whether what I saw was itself real and not a creation for my comfort I don't know, nor do I know if any of those beings were truly provable Deities but I believe she is. Or I'm just going crazy, either way. ^^

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I think I covered it as best as I'm able too. ^^

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Only thing I could think of is maybe using non-masculine specific references to just a God, and instead use neutral terms since it appears a deity could be anything if it so chooses; and appearance may vary by the person experiencing them?