Kathleen B NDE

Experience Description

I was in labor and at some point in the night, I had my daughter. I pushed when the doctor said not to push. There was extensive damage done and the doctor put 120 stitches on the inside to repar the damage. Partly because of my medical issues and partly from depression, or unhappiness with my life, and youth, whatever, I wanted to die.

I came into a light or a white light came around me. It wasn't a big space. The light was bright, warm, and pleasant. I felt for an instant that I absolutely understood the entire purpose and meaning of the universe. I absolutely knew everything. It was beautiful and unbelievably wonderful. The light seemed to be just around my head. Then the most beautiful and man's voice I have ever heard, told me that he cared about me and loved me. I felt it this too as he asked, 'Do you want to live or don't you?' In that second I wanted to live more than anything I have ever wanted before, or since.

I then felt like I could see myself unconscious, in my hospital bed. Yet, I felt like I was sitting up and a little above and to the right side of my body. There were two men at the foot of the bed. They were dressed in white coats. One man had hat and a clip board and the other man had black hair and glasses. The man with the glasses said, 'We are going to have to get in touch with some family here,' and the other said 'There is nothing about family in this chart.'

At the same time that they were talking, I felt like I was sitting up and telling them that I was going to be fine. I don't know how long it was before I regained consciousness. I do remember that I was released from the hospital with an entirely different attitude on January 5, 1969.

While I was in the hospital, I kept trying to tell people what happened and they kept telling me that things like this happen when a brain doesn't get enough oxygen.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 12/1968

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth. I was pregnant and had tried to walk to the hospital in a snow storm. I had hypothermia. I tried to get myself to the hospital after my water broke. I was delivered to the hospital by a policeman. I was told that they couldn't get my temperature up and that I had lost a great deal of blood. I didn't want to live.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes The two medical people at the end of the bed were talking to each other and I could see myself looking very pale while lying in bed. I couldn't tell if I was asleep or unconscious. But, I felt like I was to the right of my body and slightly higher, not sitting on the bed. I was outside of my body but I felt like I was telling them that I was going to be fine and wasn't going to die. I couldn't get anything across to them. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than norma. This was fifty years ago. I have never had that level of consciousness or alertness since that time.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I could see and understand the meaning of the entire universe with crystal clarity. There aren't words in the English language to adequately describe that experiences.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision seemed more acute as I remember it. Now when I look at something, I see an object or a person, etc. Then it was like everything was part of the experience, like it was one connected universe and I was a part of it.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard a man's voice that thought was Jesus. He said, 'Do you want to live or don't you?' The voice was so gentle, kind, and beautiful. It was like stereo in comparison to my ordinary hearing, since it was all-around sound. The doctors sounded clear, but I don't remember that their voices were different from ordinary hearing.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The whjite light surrounded me. It was bright, but it wasn't glaring. I don't remember a tunnel, I just remember being suddenly washed with light. I had never even heard of such an experience then. I was raised Catholic, and I was never a very good one. I didn't have a reference for mystical or other-worldly light. This light was very bright, white, warm and it surrounded me.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The white light and the man's voice. The clear understanding of everything in the whole universe.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Most of the experience until the point when I couldn't make the medical people at the foot of the bed understand that I was going to be fine was truly magnificent.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. This experience is still so clear in my mind and there are words to adequately describe it. I was surrounded in the white light and I knew everything, everything, absolutely everything there was to know in the entire universe. It was wonderful. I couldn't wait to tell people about this experience, and when I came to, the experience was gone except for the memory.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life. The man with the wonderful, kind voice asked me, 'Do you want to live or don't you.' In that second, I wanted to live more than anything in the world and I chose to come back.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes This experience gave me the courage to escape the religious dogma and search. I read books and searched for understanding without the fear that a jealous god is going to crack down on my life and punish me. I used to be absolutely trapped in what 'people would think,' that began to change after this experience.

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I was raised Catholic. It was all about Hell, and punishment, and there was no kind, Jesus voice. Religion was punishment, and if you were a girl child and not putting yourself last you were doing something wrong. This beautiful experience was nothing at all like any experience I had ever had.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I began to question and search and discard the things that didn't fit for me any longer. I hadn't been able to discard these things before because I believed there was a mean, unforgiving God up there who would punish me. I began letting that go, which is not to say that it happened quickly. It took years.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. When I went into the light, I heard the most beautiful man's voice imaginable. I remember thinking that it was Jesus talking to me. I heard the voice but didn't see the speaker.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes During this entire experience I felt that I was connected and part of the whole. I felt I was one with everything that happened.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I felt at the time that the man who spoke to me was Jesus.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I came to know Everything about the universe. I remember that it made such sense. Everything was crystal clear, but I can't remember any of it. When I told hospital staff about it, they told me it was caused by being deprived of oxygen.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes When the man's voice asked me if I wanted to live, or not, I remember thinking that it was a choice that I could make. He wasn't saying I have a purpose for you, or that you need to go back and do some special task. It could have been my 'time.' I could have chosen to die or to live, and I really wanted to live.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life This is a difficult question. I believe in God, but I am not sure he is one entity. I think he might just be energy. I had more direction after this experience. I have been successful. I have raised four successful children: a CPA; an RN; a Psychologist, and an Attorney. An occupation isn't an absolute measure of success but for a woman from a large family who was raised in a shack and with a life steeped in religious control mechanisms, I have done well. I believe this experience touched my life and put me on a better life path.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes This was fifty years ago. I have grown. I have a great marriage and great friendships. My relationships back then were not successful.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes When I regained consciousness and tried to tell people about this incredible experience, I couldn't do it justice. I couldn't even come close, and the hospital workers I told, initially, told me it happened because I didn't have enough oxygen in my brain. One person, I remember, cited a bunch of studies to prove to me I was mistaken about it being a special experience.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I feel like these memories are crystal clear for the most part. I don't remember clearly if the man with the kind voice spoke to me before I had the sense that I understood the universe or not. Otherwise, fifty years later it's still more clear than any other experience I have had before or since.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I think you have this answer from the previous questions.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Rarely. I shared it immediately with hospital people. They assured me that nothing special happened to me beyond being oxygen deprived. I don't really remember sharing this experience very often in the last fifty years. I may have told my sisters and a cousin or two. But I search and read books to try to find answers because I believe in a few years I will go back to this place when the time comes.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I knew the experience was real, but I wasn't sure about the cause of the experience because I had been deprived of oxygen. I remember one of the hospital people I told relayed to me some studies and how a lot of people think they have experiences like I was describing.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It was more real than any experience I have ever had before or since. It was my lifetime's most real experience.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes A friend who is psychic told me to buy the book Journey of Souls by Michael Newton. She said there is someone who needs this book. She wasn't sure who, but she said read it and when you become aware of the person that needs it give it to them. I read 40 some pages into it when I learned from another friend that her daughter had fallen down her steps and struck her head and passed away. I felt that she was the person who needed the book and I gave it to her. My experience has helped me not to question these things. I believe the universe if helping people get what they need and if we are open sometimes, they will use us to do that. Another experience I once had was meeting a person I was absolutely sure I had known in some other life. If my experience hadn't helped me to open my mind to possibilities, I may have missed this.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I thought it was a good questionnaire. I don't have any suggestions.