Kathy O NDE

Experience Description

I had a rough life as a child growing up. My parents were very strict with me, not allowing me to have any friends. They kept me in the house and even had a tutor coming to the house to school me. At age 16, I got sick of it all and just wanted to end my life. I took a whole bottle of my fathers medications, which I believe had something to do with his heart. My mother had been out running errands. When she came home and found me on my bed, I was just barely alive. She called 911 and they rushed me to the nearest hospital. I was taken directly into the emergency room and they immediately began working on me. They were trying to pump my stomach for any remaining pills, hooking me up to machines, and etc. I could hear everyone talking and the doctors giving instructions to the nurses on what do to. Then I heard the words, 'We are losing her!' I could hear my heart barely beating on the heart monitor, and then it stopped.

I was standing outside my body at the head of my body, but behind all the emergency room staff as they worked frantic to revive me and bring me back to life. I wasn't in any pain. In fact, I felt nothing. But I stood there in shock to see my body lying on the gurney while they worked on me. I watched as they pulled out the pads to shock my heart, put tubes down my throat, and were placing IVs in my arm.

Then, I felt a tap on my left shoulder. I turned to look at who it was and then I was gone. That's when I found myself surrounded in total darkness. There were no floors, no walls, no ceiling - nothing. I was huddled down with my arms wrapped around my folded legs and my head buried in the bends of my knees, in a fetal position. Then I heard a voice; it was a deep voice but it was comforting at the same time. I turned to look in the direction of the voice and saw a man standing there. He had no wings, so I assume he wasn't an angel. He was wearing a long, leather coat that went all the way to the floor. His hair was combed back as if he had gel in it. The man was standing there and appeared as if he had something in his fingers, like he was playing with it or rolling it around. But there was nothing in his fingers, kind of like picking at his finger nails.

He tilted he head towards me and said 'This isn't want you wanted, it is?' I was starting to cry and replied, 'No, it was stupid and I was only trying to get attention.' Then he said to me, 'Do you see the light?' I looked around and far off into the distance was this light, like looking through a prism with rainbow colors generating from it. But it was very far away and very little to see, but it was there. That's when he said to me, 'Suicides are not allowed to receive the light; they remain in darkness.' I don't know if he was using this as a scare tactic to frighten me, or if he was speaking the truth, but I wasn't going to question him. Then he spoke the words which I will never forget as he said, 'Life is a gift and it's not up to us to take it.'

At first, I didn't understand what he meant. But later, I knew as I figured it out. He then said to me, 'It's not your time and I am going to send you back. But I am also going to put you to work for us. You'll know when the time is right and how to accept it and learn how to use it.' I had no clue as to what he meant by that, but I agreed with him. I told him, 'Thank you' and I was sent back.

I woke up lying in a hospital bed, connected to so many machines, with tubes down my throat. There were heart machines and so many sounds of beeping. I was hooked up to an oxygen machine and anything else they could connect me to. But when I awoke, I heard voices. I heard sounds like I was standing in a crowded room and everyone was all talking at once. It was like being at a party or a gathering. But the only people there were the nurses sitting at the nurses station next to me. They weren't talking, but working quietly, staring at patient charts and writing down notes in them. I realized I was in the ICU unit and there were other patients in there with me. The nurse came over to check on me and noticed my eyes were open. She was excited and started asking me to blink, node my head, move my fingers and toes. I had no problem doing any of it. I looked at a clock on the wall across from me, and it was showing 2:00 a.m. I was able to turn my head and look out a window. I noticed it was dark outside, so I assumed I had been out for just a few hours. My mother must of found me earlier, around 4:00 p.m. on my bed.

I thought I had only been out until 2:00 a.m. that morning. I was wrong. The nurse told me that I had been in a coma for 32 days! She told me not to try and do anything strenuous and not to speak too much because I needed to rehabilitate myself. I was weak and my mind was a huge blank. I don't remember anything while being in this coma, nothing. I had no dreams, I heard no noises; it was just one big blank. I wanted to know why I heard all these voices around me, so I asked the nurse. She asked, 'What voices?' At that point, I thought I might have brain damage. I was assured that there was nothing wrong with me. As far as brain damage was concerned, I was fine.

It was another week before they released me, as doctors ran tests on me to make sure there wasn't any damage. My parents came to visit and spent time with me. They were mad of course, but soon realized that I wanted to have a normal childhood and to be treated right. Then I got released and sent home, but also was on doctors orders to remain on bed-rest and try to regain my strength back before doing anything.

The voices continued, but not as much since I was at home. A few years later, I realized that I was hearing the dead speak. They didn't talk to me, but I could hear them. When I acknowledge them, then they were talking to me and excited that I could hear them and speak to them. It took years to figure it all out and learn to adjust to my new gift. I had to learn to shut it off, like turning off the dial on a radio to make the voices stop. Then I only would allow them to speak to me when I was ready or wanted them to speak to me. Now, being 58 years old, I use this gift to help the dead receive the light. I also help others who are wanting to end their life. I let them know it's not the way out, and what will happen if they do. I share my experience with them. Now I know why that man sent me back and said he had work for me to do. Now I understand and use my experience and gifts to help others who are stuck in between realms or are stuck on earth in spirit. My gift is powerful, and sometimes it is more than I can handle. But I have proven to many that it's real and showed them to prove my point. I have made the ones who doubt, believe.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1976

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes. Suicide attempt

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes Only until I was tapped on the shoulder and then it stopped. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. Once I stepped out of my body, everything became more vivid. I became more understanding how severe my situation was.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As soon as I stepped out of my body

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was in more vibrant colors once I stepped out of my body. Everything had more detail. It is hard to describe.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. During the time they were working on me and I was still in my body, everything had a echo to it. The echo started to get worse until my heart flatlined. Once I was out of my body, everything was very clear. I could even hear heart monitors in the other rooms.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was way off into the distance and I couldn't reach it. It appeared as a prism of rainbow light. It was like looking through a prism and seeing light generating from it.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place. It was absolute darkness. I couldn't see any walls, floors, or ceilings. But yet, it felt like my feet were firmly planted on a floor, but I could not see the floor.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt scared, depressed, upset, and angry

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will. I was told that it wasn't my time and that suicides don't receive the light. It was his decision to send me back as he had work for me to do. However, when he asked me if this is what I wanted to do, I did tell him 'no' and that I was scared but only looking for attention.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I'm not a Catholic anymore. I did become spiritual.

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated. I am just Spiritual now.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I didn't see a heaven or hell, as I felt that the man didn't want me to see it yet.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I became very spiritual, that religion serves no purpos,e and that we are to just live our lives as we should.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. He stood beside me, and was looking down at me. He spoke to me in a deep, yet quietly, calming voice. He stood there wearing a long, black-leather like coat,and was all dressed in black. I thought it might have been my guardian angel, but he had no wings.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife probably exists. I was shown the light. I saw it. But he didn't say anything or show me anything else.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life. That I was sent back with the gift of being able to communicate with the dead who have not crossed over yet. Now, I am able to also speak with the ones who have crossed over. My husband just passed away in November 2018 and I can communicate with him. He told me he crossed over and shares some of his information with me. But he won't go into details.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am a much better person. I was more open with my husband. I even talked him out of wanting to take his life when things got bad. He had the gun in his mouth and ready to pull the trigger and I stopped him.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Because it just felt unreal, like being in a fantasy or a bad dream.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can speak and hear the ones who have passed away.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I think I know now what my guardian angel looks like.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It took about 15 years. I didn't want anyone thinking I was a nut job. I still am careful of who I tell or show my gift. But I have proven my gift to even the skeptics. It shocked them.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. Once my heart stopped, I knew it was real. There's no denying that.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It's because of my gift that keeps it real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? no

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? no