Kavis NDE

Experience Description

The most important thing to note is the night this happened, I was out with friends and surrounded in every direction. I remember staring blankly off into space feeling void of any feeling. I’m not sure I knew in that moment that I was going to die. Later in the evening, we went to a friend's house where someone asked me if I wanted a ride home. I told them "no". I was still feeling nothing; No pain, No anger, and No sadness. I arrived home, walked over a bottle of pills and swallowed almost the entire prescription. I remember sitting on the couch and waiting. I remember getting up and walking towards the laundry room and slowly losing my ability to walk. I was lying on the floor in the same painless, emotionless state.

I don’t know how to explain what happened next. I was in what I would equate to a deep meditative state. No audible thoughts were coming or going but I remember feeling like I was forgetting something. This feeling came across my whole body that I was here to do something. I couldn’t move my legs but I still had use of my arms somewhat. So, before I completely lost my ability to love my hands, I dialed 911. I’m unsure if a was truly getting a busy signal but that’s what I remember. Finally, the call went through but I couldn’t answer because now I had lost the ability to talk. The police tracked the called and it felt like forever but it was only 10 minutes according to records. I remember my eyes shutting but feeling the warmth of the ambulance lights inside. I could hear them speaking around me. I could feel them pinching my toes trying to get a response. I remember thinking “I can hear you. I can feel you. I’m here” I didn’t feel panicked but I did feel myself wanting to be heard. Time was absent. I know the moment my heart stopped beating.

My experience seems to be different than any I’ve read. I felt myself sort of leave my body but I was being pulled upwards. I remember looking behind me and seeing a black hole of sorts. It felt like an immense pressure pulling me up. As I was being pulled up, I remember looking down and seeing my still body on a table. I saw a doctor at the head of my body who was looking down at me almost sad. Then I felt a feeling I had before. It was that feeling of being alive to do something and it was the strongest feeling I’ve ever felt to date. While I was trying to be pulled up with such force, I fought against going with every fiber of my being. I didn’t see any beings. I can’t say I saw God. But I can say when I looked back, although no words were ever spoken, I was told if I let go I wouldn’t be in pain anymore. I would know peace. I would be free. I didn’t feel like I had accomplished whatever I came here to do. Whatever “it” was, it was greater than just my own peace. My purpose was bigger than myself somehow.

When I awoke, I felt different. Though, I think it’s taken me a few years to tune in. My intuition has always been there but I felt it more amplified. I don’t know how to explain it without sounding like a nut job but sometimes I will get these feelings that I just have to do something. When I fight those feelings, I tend to pay a great deal. When I listen, I’m rewarded. For example, the feeling I need to end a relationship without any real knowledge or explanation as to why. If I don’t, there always seems to be a negative consequence. But, on the other hand, the feeling I need to be/move somewhere and when I listened I was almost immediately rewarded with a pretentious job I never thought I’d get.

Something else that happened to me, I was never really good at math but had a sudden interest in statistics and trends. I also walked away from this experience with an understanding that nobody is all bad. Or all good. I used to think everyone was inherently bad or malicious. People have a tendency to quote scripture in ways of condemnation or mockery. From this experience, I KNOW with every fiber of my being that all we are expected to do is try. There is no right or wrong. That everything boils down to “intent”. I feel a sense of, unity in our core values and what we all truly want. Even if we have different ideas of how to get there. The last thing I’ll mention is the more I tune into “that” part of myself. The more I tune into my body, mind, intuition and energies the more I have this continuous out of body experience. It’s like a part of me is always outside myself. Like my soul can’t fit.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 9/18/2016

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Suicide attempt Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function)

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal It's like I just “knew” things. Things I never even thought of before and I knew I had to move forward

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was looking over my body and decided I needed to go back to it.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I’m not sure how much time passed. Whether it was seconds or hours.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. When we look at something we see it for what it is. During the experience I felt hyper aware. I didn’t just see things. I felt them. I saw the doctor below me. I could feel his sadness

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I didn’t hear voices. I felt them. I didn’t hear words and sentences. I felt them.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes To clarify, there was a tunnel and I was being “vacuumed” up in/toward it but I resisted

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light wasn’t in the tunnel. It was like a glow around it/in the room. And it was more bluish white.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place I didn’t fully enter but I could feel it there

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt like I could feel the doctors sadness. But, was able to separate that from the feelings and emotions I was having on my own. I didn’t feel scared. I don’t feel like I was at “peace”. I felt like I knew what waited for me on the other side. I could feel the peace, Happiness radiating towards me but felt this overwhelming feeling that I had a mission or something to complete that was greater than my own peace.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others Part of me wonders if I would have gone up if I would have spoken to a being or God. But, when making my decision to return to my body I somehow knew that if I went all the way up, I would not be able to return to my body. It’s like I wasn’t going to have a choice but then I fought and did.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life I felt like I had to pull against going up. That I was being asked if I was sure. Like I was being told it was time to find peace but that I chose to return. I felt in my sole that it was not a typical choice

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I view the world as spiritual and connected. I’m not sure I feel connected to any specific religion

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I didn’t really have any solid thoughts about my beliefs. I knew I wanted to believe in God. But I wasn’t sure what that meant

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Definitely more attune to body, soul, nature, God and how it works as one

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify I didn’t “hear” a voice. I felt the voice

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I felt it

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I felt it

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I felt like I just understood more. I feel like I knew more and walked away understand concepts and things I had struggled with my whole life. I just had a sense that I am here to do something. I know that the only way I will figure out what that something is, is to listen to my body/the universe when it speaks to me because it does speak to me

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes I could sense it with every fiber of my begin.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Only that I knew they happened for a reason and that our bodies tell us when something is right or wrong and the cause and effect of not listening

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I feel like although it’s taken me several years to hone in on what I really learned, I feel like it’s helped me understand myself and others better. It taught me to listen to my intuition and Fight for what I know I need/want.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes In a lot of ways, I’m more of a loner now. I feel different. It’s hard to connect with people when every day I feel something I can’t explain. I also get exhausted easily because I do feel almost like I’m sucking in energy good and bad and I grow tired

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I feel like these experiences are hard to put into words because there are just some things you can’t truly put into words. Feelings you have that no earthly explanation would be able to provide. Unless you’re open to these ideas and thoughts, you’ll likely think the other person is crazy. I just don’t talk about it.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I’m surer. I can feel things. I can feel other people's thoughts/emotions. I’ve become A LOT better at deciphering what the vibrations mean over time. At first I felt any negative feeling I got was directed towards me. I now understand it’s just what they are feeling and not typically directed at me.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I think my fight back down. As I read stories, I feel like I haven’t come across people who made a similar choice to mine. I’m not sure why mine was different. I’m not sure why I got the sense I wasn’t done and that it was so great that I fought to get back and resisted a feeling so great I felt it from “in between” but it has to mean something

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I’ve never been so sure of something in my life

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I’ve only just started looking into the experience as a whole because I want to understand and I sometimes feel crazy for what I feel on a daily basis. I find comfort in knowing that some experienced something similar

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Though not at much directly after, but now every day I can feel and sense things with my body. Things that aren’t necessarily words but I understand the meaning

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No