Kelsey F Drug Experience

Experience Description

After work, I was tending to my horse. He got spooked and kicked me, sending me flying into a stable wall. At the time, I thought I had a broken arm. So, I drove myself to the nearby hospital approximately 15 minutes away. On the way, I found it increasingly hard to breathe. I had chest pain. I was calm and rational, ruling out a panic attack. But I was very concerned that I was having a heart attack. Upon arriving, I was immediately admitted and was in quite bad shape at this point. I was given morphine, stabilized and assessed with having a broken rib, collapsed lung, and potentially a broken arm and collarbone. I needed a procedure to insert a drain into my chest, but was awaiting the surgeon to come in from another case. My partner arrived at this point to support me.

I recall the surgeon arriving and found it uncanny that he shared the same name as the horse that just kicked me. We all joked about it while he drew a picture on the whiteboard about what had happened inside my chest. He explained what he needed to do to fix my lung. He said he would give me some ketamine. He talked about dosing, and that he would start with the small dose and increase if needed. I felt the ketamine go into my body, but it felt different than the icy morphine.

Immediately I fell backwards out of my body, and had a sensation of going up.

What I remember now: I remember a squeezing and spinning sensation. And then a vast, empty black space. It felt like a place I was not supposed to be. When I recall it now, it was black nothingness and also everything-ness. It was like I was in the 'in-between' that was distinctly above where we are now on earth. A void is a very good name for it. I also remember a sensation of still being present in the emergency room. I could see and hear people, although I distinctly remember also not being there. It was as if I was in 2 different places at the same time. I recall hearing the doctor say 'Oh dear, she's quite sensitive. I only started with the small dose!' I recall seeing a group of nurses on the other side of the room watching me shout about other space; happily enjoying the show. But I also recall being in a black place, and being quite scared of where I was and what was happening to me. I also remember a sensation of my head spinning around on my neck.

What I said during the experience (recalled from my partner who was present): My partner was holding me down during this experience, as I was quite animated. He says I was shouting about being in outer space, spinning around, and looking at all the colors. I didn't recall this.

Before & after:

- This event happened on my dad's birthday 13th October. My dad has was undergoing a life changing experience himself. Not an NDE but a guiding force entered his life.

- After recovering, I found I had zero desire to have horses or to ride competitively. I immediately gave it up and moved to a different city. There were some strange synchronicities that appeared in my life in the 12 months following the accident that I chose to act upon because I was more aware of them.

- I felt like a door was opened for me on the day this accident happened. My entire life changed. Before, I was just doing the human thing - working, paying taxes and trying to enjoy myself.

- Before, I had been under a lot of pressure in my life trying to balance everything. On reflection, it seems like I may have been ignoring or unaware of the signals. I believe this event was an extreme message to get my attention; a prod to get me to go in a different direction.

- As it turns out, a lot of people in my life have had interesting experiences, including my partner. When he was younger he was punched in the head and knocked out. As he fell to the ground, he lived an entire lifetime. He recalls it being so boring and mundane. He had a conventional car, a suburban house, an average wife, 2 kids and a boring job. As he hit the ground he woke up. He's worked hard not to have that life.

- I hope one day we can understand these experiences more deeply, and have open dialogue about how they influence us to be the people we are.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 13 October 2022

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening. I was kicked by my horse into a wall and sustained traumatic injuries including a punctured lung.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes. I saw and heard the conversations in the hospital room. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. It felt like I was in 2 places at once.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? In the 12 months following

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual. There was no time

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I had vision of two different places

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was no noise in the void, but I would have heard things there I believe.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was more of a void.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fear and excitement. Pressure and spinning

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist I had had not been largely exposed to death. Only through the death of my grandmothers and my cat. I recall distinctly when my cat died in my arms. The moment she died I was holding a shell; it wasn't her anymore.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am more open.

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths: It's something that doesn't fit into a conventional religion box. It's not Jesus or Buddha - those are human constructs. It's much bigger than that. Spirituality is probably closest. I don't consider myself religious. I just hold beliefs.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I previously believed people lived and then died. Now I believe there is much more to life.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I'm listening now. I'm meditating. I'm aware that we are more than our physical body.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I gained an awareness of more than what we are.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I have an awareness of more - something bigger.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes It felt like it had something to do with outer space or a matrix. I may be biased because I work in IT (information technology). But when you play a computer game and you stick your head outside the programming language, or the colors and pictures that have been loaded? Something like that. I felt like I saw outside the game. But then, who wrote the game?

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? I moved away, and changed. I am different myself.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It felt like a prod in the right direction, because I wasn't listening to the signs. But I don't seem to recall in detail the actual event itself.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. It is burned into my brain.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Intuition. I've also started to see auras and energy balls/sparkles. Sometimes, I feel like I can hear messages; like a download maybe.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I reached out for help after my experience and I heard back from something. Maybe it was nothing or maybe I made it up when I was suffering and confused. But so far, my life has improved.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes After 12 months, as I needed time to understand it myself. Now, I seek to share with people if they are willing. People seek logical explanations. Even those who have had unusual experiences. For example, my partner who lived a lifetime rationalizes his experience as a concussion. My other friend who floated above her body explains it away as a childhood dream.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. Terrified of what I went though. I was pretty shocked, and really struggled to find words to explain to people. I remember having a conversation with my partner in a cafe and caused a scene after breaking down. I said, 'I think you are the moon to my earth.' This was shocking to both of us, because I was a very logical person suddenly sounding crazy.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I think some higher intelligence had been trying to nudge me on my path for some time. I had ignored these messages. So it nudged a bit harder. I can't replicate the event, and for some reason I can't see all of what happened to me. Some other weird stuff continues to happen. I can't control it yet but it would be cool if I could.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain. Not re-produced but I have new experiences

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I do think it is strange that the event happened on my dad's birthday (who is also having a life changing event), and the surgeon shared the name with my horse. There are some strange things there that do make me wonder.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Ask about the synchronicities.

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