Ken M NDE

Experience Description

I have kept his memory buried in my brain for decades. I would bring it out once in a while, mention it to someone. Regret mentioning it and tuck it back in the attic of my head. It bothers me that there is not much to it.

My parents took me to a pond where other parents sat on blankets and beach towels on a damp pond bank while watching their kids splash around. My father got me a small short log to ride. I got the hang of it pretty quick, at least, I thought I did. Pretty soon, my goal became a quest to get close to the center of the pond, where most of the action and most of the kids are. I worked my way around the pond, trying to find a shallow place to get close to the yelling and laughing, when I lost contact with the ground. I stretched to get some kind of contact with the floor of the pond when my log rolled over. I couldn't swim.

I remember the water was a murky greenish brown. In the surprise of it all, I gasp some air, I got water. My last thought was kind of an exclamation, 'I didn't know I could breathe water!?' - I'm getting old, I may forget a lot of things in years to come, but I doubt I will ever forget that thought.

Then there was a blacker than black, empty. void. It only lasted moments, milliseconds, perhaps?

Then I was above the pond water facing the bank of parents lying on blankets and towels. I did not look; my impression was that I was just above the pond. My parents are right in front of me, about 40 feet away? I was wet, I should have felt something. I don't recall feeling anything, or having any particular thoughts other than curiosity about was just happened and is happening. I'm staring towards my parents.

A man, on a blanket next to my dad jumped up. As he did, he leaned into my dad and my father was quickly on his feet along with the man. Dad and the man were running right towards me. I saw splashes, large droplets of water heading to my face. I don't recall feeling any of it. Then, they both reached into the water to the right of me.

Next came void like thing/feeling/nothingness, like before. Next, I was on a blanket with a lot of people looking at me. I asked what was wrong? They told me and I objected saying I watched the whole thing; I was above the water. My dad said I never came up, which is what he always would say the few times I tried to discuss it. I have wondered about my father's reaction. He seemed upset when I told him I saw the man get up first. He admitted the other man reacted before he knew about it, and it was the other man that pulled my out of the pond.

I still wonder if my father was upset about? Was it that the other man saw what was happening before he did, or if it was contrary to his belief that we will be resurrected from the grave?

I don't recall my mother talking about it, ever. She was there. My mother was a housewife. Far more religious than dad. She eventually became an ordained Pentecostal minister. Since my father worked nights, I was around my mother a lot more than my dad. Still, nothing from her other than comfort during the event, and no talk about it after.

As for my father, you know that feeling people give off when they don't want to talk about something? That's how I felt when I tried to talk to him. So, I decided to tuck it away. Not to ponder or elaborate. Just preserve the memory and hope one day someone would say, 'that happened to me too.' At which point I hoped to discuss and maybe understand a bit of what happened?

The experience has left me feeling odd about religion and the churches/preachers I was exposed to. My parents were extremely religious. They dragged me to church four or more times a week. I turned away from religion at around 10 years old. I refused to go to church, I no longer wanted to go on vacations with my parents. I started staying home at 11 years old. I cooked and took care of the house while they went about for a couple of weeks at a time.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 07/05/1959

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Drowning Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function)

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness I really didn't feel odd or anything. Just wondered what was happening. No fear, no joy, just curious, which is pretty much a constant state of being for me.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was above the water, looking at my parents. Although, I didn't look around. I didn't look down at the water. I just looked their way.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It bothers me that I did not see, or recall anything to my left while looking at my parents. I saw pretty far to the right. Not to the left, it's like a green bottom tan to brown on top, blurred mass to the left of them. I was staring at my parents. Peripheral vision fine to my right. Why scrambled nothing to the left of them?

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't recall ANY sounds.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Just curiosity.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant It was contrary to my parent's beliefs that we stay in the grave until called. My parents would cut me off when I tried to discuss. I really haven't discussed this much because of their attitude.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Many ways. It made me uncomfortable listening to the preacher. I no longer believed every word. I questioned everything. Still do.

What is your religion now? Do not know I feel there is life beyond this. It doesn't make sense to me. I feel like I'm missing something I knew at one time. I feel like this is not my only life.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Four or more times a week at church I would hear about the resurrection, heaven and hell, judgment, which was the second coming of Christ. Defiantly put my parents off.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I started believing in reincarnation. I keep trying to reject it as it is silly. I guess it's best explained as an unwanted, not really a belief but a persistent feeling of past lives which runs counter to what I want to believe, which is this is it. We die, and we are gone. I'm living with a damaged body and a lot of pain. I'm tired. I don't want to live on.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain For years after this I have felt that I have been here before. had other lifetimes. Still do. However, I am not aware of anything more than I have explained here. I have wondered if during the black void time I experienced, if something unconsciously happened to me gave me these feelings or if I'm just trying to fill in the blanks. I don't know. I find this all bizarre and not logical at all. I have some beliefs; I don't know where they came from or why I continue to entertain them.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Unknown Before and after. Some of my answers make it appear that my views have not changed. The way I view many things has changed. While I may say, I believe this, how I see it and feel about 'it' has changed. Keep in mind, I was 8 at the time. That was 1959. There's been a lot of events in between that time that has also effected by spirituality. It's hard to say I don't believe in god, as I do. It's hard to define, as the question I have is, what is god?

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes With my parents. I felt odd towards them after this. Probably because they, in their way, denied the event by not discussing it with me. Remember I said my parents were Pentecostal and I would say extremist. I graduated high school at 17 and left home. I love my parents, but they represented things I couldn't believe in.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes My parent were very religious. They didn't want to talk about it. No one since has shown any interest. Although, I may have brought it up to people other than my parents 4 times in the last 60 years.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I kept the memory of the events buried. I didn't try to explain them. They were too strange. I preserved them, didn't want to twist them up to something they are not. There's nothing spectacular, no messages to save mankind, no past relatives, no angels, no lights. Just little me, above the water watching the adults. Why none of those things? That's what I want to know.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Not anything that I can say was a direct result of the event. I did put up a heck of a fight not to go back to church which I finally won when I was 10.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes This happened 61 years ago. I've tried a couple of times to talk about it. Maybe 4 times? Nothing ever came of it. I've always felt empty about this topic as most don't have anything to say about it. It's a conversation killer.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I believe what happened. No one wanted to talk about it. The possibility that it didn't happen has only recently crept into my mind, 61 years later. And that's because I am in a lot of pain and I would like to take my life. But something tells me that's a very bad idea. That something always comes back to the memory of this event. Why? no idea. Perhaps it offers me a way to be a coward about it. Which is why I question the memories after all these years.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real The memory has been the same, consistent all these years. I remember it quite well.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No. Not much to it. But, that's all that happened.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? None. For me, my experience was not as complicated or eventful as others. So, I'm not the one to ask.