Kenneth N NDE

Experience Description:

After I suddenly passed out without warning, I found myself in a black, silent void. I strained to see any light but there was none. There was no sound, no touch, no smell, nothing. I felt totally alone with just my thoughts. I remember thinking 'So this is what it's like to be dead!' I felt that I was still me, but not who I was in life. But rather the core essence of who I really am without any ego identity. After a short time, I began to feel so lonely that I began to call out. 'Is anybody there? Please help me!' I then began to pray to God, 'Hello! God! Jesus! Please help me!' Almost immediately, I began to sense that I was now moving through the black void instead of just hanging in place there.

I could see a very small bright light in the distance and I was moving towards it. I felt that I was moving at an incredible speed but there was only a slight breeze sensation on my face. I raised my hand up or I felt that I raised my hand up in front of my face to see if I could see it but I couldn't. I noticed two things at this time. Firstly, was that there was endless streams of little flickering, fluttering dim, little light things on either side of me that were also headed towards the light. Secondly, I seemed to be able to see 360 degrees in every direction simultaneously. I needed only to will my attention in one direction to concentrate on one thing.

I wondered what the flickering, fluttering little lights were so I began to force my will to concentrate on one of them that was closest to me. As I concentrated on it, I could see that it was just a dim little light fluttering around like a moth or like Tinkerbell from 'Peter Pan' except not as bright. Then to my surprise I heard, or rather telepathically heard, it say in the voice of a little girl, 'Mommy what is he looking at?' Then the other little glob of light next to it said in the voice of an adult woman, 'He's looking at us dear.' The little girl asked, 'Why?' and the mother said, 'He's just curious. He wants to see what we look like.' We were getting closer to the light in the distance and as we got nearer it got bigger and brighter. Then I began to notice that I was slowing down.

I also noticed that I could hear something. I remember thinking 'What is hearing?' and relearning that concept. I then thought 'I hear sounds!' and relearned what sounds were. 'They're not just sounds they are voices!' and I relearned what voices were. They're not just making sounds they're speaking words!' and I relearned what speaking words meant. They're not just saying words, they're saying a name! I relearned what a name was. They're not just saying a name, they're saying my name!

As soon as I came to that realization - BOOM - I was back in my body and opening my eyes. My body was soaked in a cold sweat. I was surrounded by nurses who were saying my name and rubbing my hands and arms. My reclining chair was reclined so far back that my head was practically on the floor with my feet in the air. My shirt was completely unbuttoned and there was some kind of clear gel on my chest. A doctor was standing next to me holding two shock paddles attached to a crash cart defibrillator. He said, 'Whew! We thought we had lost you there. Your heart was stopped for two and half minutes.' As I gathered my composure, I looked around the room at the others who were there pumping out their blood and the looks on their faces were as if they had just seen a ghost! I felt as if I could read their thoughts and the overriding thought being expressed was, 'Let me out of here! I didn't know you could die from this!'

For a period of about one year after the event, I felt like I had special psychic abilities. I could sense things before they happened. I felt I could read and empathize with other people's deepest feelings. And I could sometimes, sense spirits and sometimes communicate with them. I also have the certain knowledge that there is a life after death because I experienced it. I was clinically dead for two and a half minutes. Your core essence continues on. No name, no identity, no ego but you do continue after this life. It's no longer a hope or a belief, it is a knowing. That is immensely comforting!

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 1983

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Loss of blood Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I was selling my blood plasma for money to make ends meet. I hadn't eaten for twenty-four hours and was probably dehydrated as well. Normally, you wait until your first bag of red blood cells is returned before starting to give the second bag but they let me start to pump-out the second bag of blood without receiving my first bag of red blood cells back. My blood volume level dropped so low that I passed out and my heart stopped for two and a half minutes.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? All of it.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster than usual Read the narrative.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More so than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could see 360 degrees in every direction simultaneously.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't think I was hearing audible sounds, it was telepathic communication.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Neither

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain Streams of little lights going to a distant light source.

Did you see any beings in your experience? Saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Read the narrative.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Bright, very distant.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Clearly mystical or unearthly realm read narrative

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Bewilderment and amazement.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Neither

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? Neither

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? Neither

Did scenes from the future come to you? Neither Very accurate however I had no control over what events I could foresee. I can't recall what they were now.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? A barrier I was not permitted to cross; or 'sent back' to life involuntarily

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Christian

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I have a knowing now.

What is your religion now? Liberal Christian

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have a knowing now.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? Unidentifiable voice

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? Saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Read the narrative.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I value others much more now. I'm not as superficial and materialistic as I once was.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Empathy almost telepathy. Could and did sense some spirits and communicate with them.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The feeling of utter aloneness at the beginning.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes People can tell I'm telling a true experience not a made up story.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was not something I had ever given much thought to. The experience happened without warning and didn't fit with any pre-conceived notions I had ever had or even heard of.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Read narrative.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No