Kevin Mc SDE

Experience Description

From the moment I saw my wife, there was no other for me. She felt the same, as there was no other for her. We were inexplicably drawn together. We dated for a year, lived together for a year, and marriage the following year. We were overwhelmingly in love - the couple that other couples ask 'How do you guys do it?' The more time we spent together the happier we were over 20 years.

My wife was more athletic than I. She ran daily usually at 5AM. She was a marathoner, practiced yoga, ate very healthy, and very rarely sick. It came as some surprise in December 2012, when she got a cough. She went to her doctor and was told that she had 'whatever was going around,' the flu or something, and was put on antibiotics.

A week later there was no improvement. So, she went back to the doctor for an x-ray. It showed nothing in the lungs that would cause the cough.

On Christmas Eve every year, we held a large celebration at our home. This is how healthy she was 10 days before passing over.

On December 26, 2012, she was sent to a hospital with different lung imaging machine. Again, the results came back with nothing to be alarmed about. There was a slight inflammation from coughing, but due to a lower than normal oxygen level she was held overnight. Daily tests were done as she quickly got worse and worse. Five days later, they told me she had a mass showing up that looked like cancer. They told me she was not going to make it and would not be leaving the hospital alive. I was in shock, just devastated!

I went to her, with tears streaming down my face. She asked me if she was going to die. I said in a quiet, broken voice, 'Yes'. She was extremely calm. I told her I would trade places with her. She reached out, touched my arm, and said in a calm authoritative voice 'It's not your time.' I was taken back a bit because it didn't sound quite like her voice.

I never left her side. On 01/03/2013 she motioned for me to come closer to her because she couldn't speak well. She said, 'I will find you up there' and pointed up. I went to hug her, with endless tears running down my face. She pushed me back as she said as she pointed at my chest, 'We won't look like this, but I can see your soul.' I hugged her tight and said, 'Please do baby.'

On 01/04/2013, she opened her eyes about 10AM and said, 'I love you so much.' I answered, 'I love you too.' These were the last words we spoke and in retrospect, these were probably the best last words that could have been spoken.

She had 3 brothers and 2 sisters; they were there with their spouses around her bedside as her body shut down. I was kneeling down next to her head. My parents were behind me.

I was inconsolable, my world, the love of my life was suffering and dying right in front of me. She couldn't breathe and it was killing me. Suddenly, she turned her head and looked directly into my eyes. I looked into her beautiful, blue eyes. Instantaneously, I was somewhere else. I was in a dark grey or black space with about 30 tiny pinpoints of light above me.

For me, what I saw was NOTHING compared to what I FELT. I was being thoroughly and completely engulfed in unconditional LOVE! I was in such complete awe that I was not aware of my wife or anything except the LOVE that was radiating through me. All the stress, sadness, fear, any and all negative thoughts and feelings; were replaced with LOVE & JOY that transcends all human understanding. I felt more ALIVE than I've ever felt. I was enlightened to EVERYTHING. It was a true spiritual awakening.

There was no time where I was. I find it impossible to fully explain what I experienced. I've been questioned many times and try to narrow it down but I can't. If I were to totally guess, it felt like I was there between 4 months and 4 years. In an instant, I was returned into my body. My wife was still looking into my eyes. This whole event felt like I experienced it through my chest not through our eyes. She turned her head toward the ceiling, exhaled and transcended. I said in a loud voice 'IT'S A MIRACLE'!

I looked around to see all the grieving family members at the bedside crying, looking at me as if I'd lost my mind. I exuberantly asked my brother-in-law, 'DID YOU SEE THAT?' 'Yes', he replied. I was elated! I asked, 'What did you see?'

He said, 'She opened her eyes.' I asked, 'For how long?' He replied, 'about 14 seconds.' I asked to everyone else, 'Did you see that?' I incorrectly assumed that everyone had seen this miracle. They slowly left the room into the hall of the hospital in their own grief.

I've now figured I was consoling her for about 7 seconds and was gone for about 7 seconds. I lost ALL fear of ANYTHING, especially DYING! My interests align with almost no one. My old friends have fallen by the wayside. I have no interest in power, prestige, fame, competition, or anything like that. I have a deep reverence for nature. I see the world and it's immense beauty. I see clearly that we are all ONE with everyone and everything. I see the beauty in humans and I also see how they are being misguided on so many levels. My life is gone. I am now Life itself, just like everyone and everything. So many people try to compartmentalize my experience trying to understand it. I tell them they cannot THINK their way to understanding it; that seems to confuse them more.

I was a Christian before the enlightenment, believing in GOD and the teachings of JESUS Christ. That remained. Now, I don't believe. Now I KNOW! I came back with a much broader understanding beyond Christianity. I have no need for religions. It's all inclusive, not exclusive. I am now a child of GOD!

I found that when I no longer fear death, that my perspective on earth has changed. I lost a need for things to be GOOD or BAD because they just ARE. I'm not always happy but I'm always at PEACE. Peace will always trump Happiness. I've transcended the earth, yet I'm still here. My prayers have come back strong and with one overwhelming message SHARE YOUR STORY. So, that is what I'm doing. May GOD bless you all; May you find Love and Peace.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 01/04/2013

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Illness of My Beloved Wife Other Clinical Death of my wife My wife was dying and I had every intention of following her, I simply could not imagine life without her.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I felt more ALIVE out of body that in body.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? While I was Out of my Body.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. No time existed where I was

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. clearly, but not with my eyes.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I wasn't hearing like every day. I was just understanding with no need to hear.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes small pinpoints of light 30 or so above me.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I was in a dark grey or light black area with specks of light above me, understanding all that was being revealed to me.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Exultation.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I was shown everything. That we are one and part of everything in the universe.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant I considered myself a Christian, not any particular sect of Christianity.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I'm with no doubt a child of GOD. Jesus it the way for me access GOD. He died for our sins. Others may have a different way to access GOD, its all the way it should be.

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths I have no use for 'religion' anymore.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience It's in my story

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes it's in my story

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin it was not a voice, life was being revealed to me not using words

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes It expanded my view on everything.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Yes, there is a universal connection.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes GOD was they only (presence), again words don't explain it.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes it's in my story. Love is the way, the truth.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes LOVE

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes There is without a doubt life after the death of our bodies.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes People are being miss guided intentionally or not.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes The whole message was LOVE!

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I look at everything in a new way so, in a way everything has changed.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I don't want for anything, My body needs nourishment, water, and that's about it. It makes it difficult to have a 'typical' relationship.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Words don't exist that could convey the experience.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience It was 10 years ago and I can recall it as if it just happed.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can feel people's emotions, even if they are trying to hide them. As in many cases.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The whole collapse of ego. I can also stop thinking at will. A true gift.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes immediately.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes aware of it but didn't give it much thought.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real absolute Truth. the most real of anything on earth.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Same as above

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Be Thankful.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? None