Kim M Probable NDE

Experience Description

I just remember it was pitch black. I couldn’t see anything, but I could hear screaming and what sounded like big angry animals or devils. These were awful sounds. I can’t describe the smell, but the closest would be that it smelled rancid at best. I was unable to move. I could feel claws and teeth tearing at my skin. I was being eaten and torn to pieces. The pain was unimaginable. But I didn’t die. I couldn’t scream, nor could I get away. I couldn’t understand how I was still being torn apart. My arms had been ripped off several times and I could feel something eating my stomach. Yet, I didn’t die. I just kept suffering. At one point, I knew this was hell, I was dead, and this was going to be my eternity. That’s when I started to come around.

At first I thought I had a horrible nightmare. But when I tried to get up and move, I realized that I was much more drugged than I needed to be. I began struggling to get the drugs up. I don’t know how long I was out before I woke up. I don’t believe I was awake for more than 20 minutes when I forced the pills up and passed out again. The pills had not dissolved all the way, so I believe vomiting up what I could maybe saved me. I don’t know how long I was on the floor before my boyfriend found me. In total, four day had passed. Once I passed back out, I did not die again. I just slept off what was in my system. I was afraid to tell because I shouldn’t have take prescription medications that weren’t prescribed for me and I was afraid of going to jail. I did not want to get my friend in trouble for trying to help me sleep.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 8/1991

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Accident. Drug or medication overdose. Other I was alone. I died. Then I woke up terrified at what I’d experienced. I had trouble sleeping, so a friend gave me three pills and said that I should take all of them at once and I’d be able to sleep. She was prescribed to take 3 pills at a time because she weighed almost 300lbs. I weighed only 92lbs. I was out for 4 days. I had what I can only describe as a hellish experience. I jolted up and drug myself literally to the kitchen for milk which I downed from the carton and then forced myself to vomit several times before passing out again. My boyfriend found me on the kitchen floor not breathing.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness. It was normal

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? While I was being torn apart

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. The pain was intense and it lasted forever. Time was slower

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. 20/20

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Normal. I like loud music then and now.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place I could not see. But I felt strongly that I was not safe at home in my bed.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt extreme fear, intense sadness, hopelessness, and confusion

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated. I was told to believe in god. We went to church if someone died or got married. I didn’t and still don’t believe in god or Satan.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Atheist

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I wasn’t a religious person. I was still young and hadn’t completely been brainwashed into believing by my not very religious family. Today I am an Atheist. But I had this experience and I have no doubts that I was experiencing hell or something hellish. Being atheist means I don’t believe in god. And I don’t believe in Satan either. I believe I died and went to hell. But I didn’t see the devil. I guess he was busy that day

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I was as afraid that there was a hell and I needed to examine my life more closely, especially my behavior towards others.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify. I heard screams from others who sounded far away. Everything seemed to echo. I did not hear words, just screams of agony and pain. I also heard the sound of my own body being repeatedly torn apart and bones snapping. I could hear whatever was eating my stomach. It was horrific. Even though my arms and legs and head had been pulled off several times, I could feel my arms and legs being bitten and eaten at the same time that my body parts would be being pulled off again.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Unknown No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes I was very aware the I was irrelevant

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Unknown I suffer PTSD. I was suffering from it at that time but didn’t know it. I think my experience helped me to begin to question how I was living at that time.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I’ve never told anyone. The words are easy. Saying that I think I went to hell is hard, especially for an Athiest.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I’m an Empath. I probably was an empath at the time of the experience, but I didn’t know it. Or maybe it happened after? I don't know for sure.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of it was confusing and horrible.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real. I’m still very confused by the experience

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably not real. I didn’t go to hell. Maybe that’s just how my mind was able to understand wherever I actually was.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No