Lauren J NDE

Experience Description

I was in the middle of teaching yoga to a few students, when I just collapsed. I dropped dead, went kaput. Just like that. With the flip of a switch, my heart turned off. At the age of 29, I had a Sudden Cardiac Arrest (SCA). There were no symptoms, no warning, and no genetic history of heart issues in my family. One student kept my heart going with CPR for 20 minutes until the ambulance arrived. I was later told, that the emergency medical technicians revived me with an epinephrine injection to my knee. As they rushed me to the hospital, I entered into a fit of seizures. Upon arriving at the hospital, I was put into a medically-induced coma as doctors waited to determine the status of my brain. No one knew at the time if I would wake up or who I would be if I DID wake up.

For me, or at least whatever spirit or essence resides within me, my experience of the situation was quite different. It was as though I suddenly existed outside of the boundaries of time. There was no linear progression, no going from point a to point b. Instead, time became a bunch of 'wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff.'

With no memory of having arrived there, I was walking through a hauntingly, magical wooded area. It was an old-growth forest with trees so tall and thin that their scant canopies reached up to the heavens so it seemed. At least it was past where my conscious self could see. Their trunks were narrow, smooth, light and refreshing. Their leaves were green with just a hint of fall coloring. There were giant birch trees, but in a forest I’d never before seen or visited in real life. It was a completely foreign world. It was quite possibly the farthest I’ve ever traveled and yet I have no real way of measuring the distance.

The whole scene was that part of the afternoon, close to sunset. It was not quite golden, but the color when the light is about to start fading away. The colors were otherworldly, suffusing everything in a golden glow. The light was coming from all around,yet there was no single source that I could tell. I couldn't tell you the colors of the leaves, they were so far over my head. It was as though the forest stretched upwards for forever.

What struck me the most, though, was the silence. The silence so complete, so unlike any other forest I'd ever been in my waking life. Normally, forests are almost as loud as cities with chirping birds and insects, rooting animals, the rustle of the wind in the leaves, leaves crunching underfoot, and water rushing in streams nearby. But here, the silence was anything but oppressive. It was liberating in a way. The earth was carpeted with a bed of soft leaves, somewhere between green and goldish-red in color. As though I was in the autumn of my life.

The silence that surprised me the most though was the silence of my thoughts. Normally, my mind is anxious; rushing along in a whirlwind of thoughts that constantly compete with each other for my attention. In my waking reality, I have layers of thought, such as a song I have stuck in my head on one layer, a daydream of the future on another layer, a reality of the present pulling my top-of-mind attention. But here, all thoughts melted away into complete stillness. It was like a pool of water without ripples. Total calm. Total oneness. Total peace.

I was completely and utterly at peace. I was one with everything. I had no scattered thoughts and no concern about my destination. I was just walking on the path, completely undistracted.

My footsteps made no noise as I walked the path behind myself. I was my spirit, and my spirit was hovering behind my body. My body and I were holding hands with some sort of silvery, androgynous Being. The Being was languid and lithe, tall, silver, and clothed in white with shoulder length, silver hair. The Being was beautiful and yet somehow faceless and sexless. He/she/it held my hand and guided me along the path. This was no one I'd ever seen before, but appeared to be some sort of spiritual guide. Perhaps it was an angel, though I could see no wings?

The path curved up ahead, getting lost among the trees. Somehow, I knew that if I followed that curve in the path, I would cease to be. I would 'go on' and my physical life would be over; not that I could remember my physical life in this space. I was all set to go on, I welcomed the sensation, and I didn't want to leave those woods. I loved every single second of this place. After all, walking through the woods is one of my absolute favorite things to do. I had no comprehension of where that path led. I just know that I was so peaceful, happy, and so enveloped in the glow of the Universe that I didn't want to leave the woods.

Suddenly, my spirit self felt a jerk behind my navel. I felt a tug, like a cartoon hook around my mid-section. It was a physical pull at my belly-button, yanking me away from the curve in the trees. My steps halted and I could no longer move forward. I was physically incapable of taking another step towards the bend in the trees. 'I have to go', I thought and turned away from the bend in the trees.

And that's when I woke up.

I was in a hospital bed. The reality of the pain and confusion slowly blinking into focus all around me. My Aunt Karen was in the room, a confusing enough moment to bring me back to consciousness. She lived in Tennessee, and yet I was in Texas. For a moment, I thought I was hallucinating or dreaming. She couldn't be here. But she was, she had flown in to help my mom.

The next few days passed in a haze of pain, medications, soreness, and trouble swallowing as they removed the tubes that had intubated me for days.

I found out the other side of the story later.

Throughout my 4 day coma, my fiance (now husband) sat by my side, holding my hand and begging me not to leave him. My mom joined in his prayers. I was convinced that only their voices had called me back from that place and ripped me back to earth. Because that's what it felt like, l I was ripped back from the oneness into the pain and confusion of living.

I spent two weeks total in the hospital, having procedure after procedure as doctors tried to understand and determine what had happened to me. They were stumped. My heart had no deformities, no clogs, no structural damage of any kind. In fact, they said, aside from the fact that I had dropped dead, there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. The only thing they could see was a slight magnesium and potassium deficiency, and they concluded that it was probably Long QT - a symptomless, genetic heart condition triggered by the perfect storm scenario.

I had a defibrillator implanted and was sent on my way the next day. Now, almost two years later, my device has never gone off and I haven't had any heart issues since (knock on wood).



Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1/2/2017

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Sudden Cardiac Arrest. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) I had a sudden cardiac arrest, died for 20 minutes (during which time my students kept my heart going with CPR) and was revived with adrenaline injections. I then entered into a series of seizures, during which time I was not conscious, and was subsequently 'put on ice' into a medically-induced coma for 4 days.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I felt completely one with everything and completely awake. I was mindful of every leaf falling, every footstep, and every visual sensation as though I'd gone from black and white into a technicolor world. Since that experience, I've learned that my experience is how many people describe moments of enlightenment.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Depends on what you mean by consciousness and alertness. In the spiritual realm, I was completely awake, more awake and aware and present than I'd ever been in life. On the physical plane (aka the hospital) I have zero memories of that time.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. I lost all sense of time and am pretty sure I stepped outside of the realm of time.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. In my vision, I saw everything and noticed every detail. Everything was sharp and clear except around the edges, where it was slightly hazy. I'm normally very observant in life, but this was magnified somehow. It was like I'd imagine people feel when they're on drugs or something.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was nothing to hear. Everything was the most beautiful, liberating, peaceful silence I'd ever felt.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I encountered a spirit of some sort. But it was no one I'd ever met or known before. Their face was hazy, nondescript, but beautiful. There was something altogether familiar and strange about them at the same time.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes As I described in my NDE description, the light was unearthly, suffusing the trees from all around with no light single source. It was like a golden tone, right at the beginning of sunset when the sun is still high. It was golden and glowing all around.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. It was some sort of birch forest, or at least birch would be the closest trees that meet the description of what I saw. But they were distorted somehow by looking otherworldly and suffused with a glow. Their tops were so tall that I couldn't see them. The color of the leaves was somewhere between green and golden/reddish glow. The scene was ethereal, mystical, strange, and stunning. I was walking on a path through the trees. The path curved around the bend, so I couldn't see where it ended.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt cComplete oneness, wholeness and peace, tranquility, calm, and total acceptance.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. After my experience, I read about Enlightened beings who describe moments of enlightenment. That's the best description I can think of for my death experience. I had a moment of enlightenment. Everything made sense and I was at one with everything. I was completely wrapped in the glow of the universe and at one with the light. There was no longer anything to understand.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will. I was walking on the path and ready to go on. Suddenly, I felt a jerk behind my navel that stopped me and I couldn't physically walk forward anymore. I then knew I had to go. So I turned around and woke up back into real life.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Do not know. I'm spiritual but not particularly religious, and certainly wasn't much of anything at the time of my NDE. I pull from Buddhist philosophy with Christian background and elements. I ultimately believe in a universal oneness that some call it God, the Universe, or whatever.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes They've gotten deeper. I've gotten more spiritual, and have been seeking more connection and spiritual practice since my experience.

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths. Truth is one, but the paths are many. Buddhist philosophy with christian roots. The occasional Hindu/yogic chants, meditation and prayer are parts of my practice. Nature is my cathedral.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I had suspicions that all in truth is One before my incident happened. But my incident has definitely transformed me into a highly spiritual person with an absolute conviction of that belief now.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain. They haven't necessarily changed, only deepened.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. The Being was tall, lithe, languid, androgynous, beautiful, and clothed in white with shining, silver hair. The Being had silent footsteps and graceful movements.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I felt completely at one with the universe. It was like a great light had absorbed me. It was a light free from all suffering. The light was of peace, understanding, acceptance and complete tranquility. I describe coming back to life as being 'ripped back from the oneness.'

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain. There was definitely a spiritual guide there who was holding my hand. But it all felt like stepping into the Oneness - The heart of the Universe - perhaps another name for God.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? I am uncertain if an afterlife exists. I knew if I continued to follow the path, I would move on. And I know I wanted to keep going and wanted to keep living in this peace.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life. I am now much more spiritual than I was before. Also, much less anxious and much less fearful about life.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes and no. They've gotten deeper, richer, and more spiritual. I have less room or patience for toxic people in my life.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It's so rich, layered, and nuanced that words cannot do it justice. There are things that others can never and will never understand just by my sharing words. To truly understand, you have to experience what I experienced. My thoughts were slowed down, which is remarkable in and of itself for me.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I have no idea what was happening to my physical body at the time of my experience. I was walking in the woods. That was my entire experience and reality despite my physical body going through so much trauma on earth.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I was always highly sensitive and aware of others' emotions before the experience, now all that has been heightened. I'm much more attuned to my 'gifts' in this arena, if you will. For example, before, I could sense tension or discomfort if people in a room were tense or uncomfortable. Now, the feelings almost cripple me and I'm working hard to insulate myself a little. I've almost puked at the smell of others' pain now. One time, my heart starting vibrating when I met someone who was clearly in an abusive situation. Now, while the intuitiveness is the same, the physical results are heightened. I can feel the pain and hurt of others in my physical body and I now have a physical reaction to them.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes A few months. Some doubted, some questioned, some told me it was probably the drugs. Some were in awe. Some believed I'd met angels and communed with God.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. To paraphrase Dumbledore in Harry Potter, 'It doesn't matter if it was only in your mind, that still makes it real.' So whether it really happened, or it really happened only in my mind, that makes no difference to me. I honestly don't care what other people think about my experience. It was MY experience. To me, it's truth. To me, nothing was linear and it all existed outside of time. That experience was more real to me than what anyone said was happening in the hospital. It brings me peace, and raises so many questions. I have experienced a moment of enlightenment and walked in death. I'm stronger and happier for it.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. To paraphrase Dumbledore in Harry Potter, 'It doesn't matter if it was only in your mind, that still makes it real.' So whether it really happened, or it really happened only in my mind, that makes no difference to me. I honestly don't care what other people think about my experience. It was MY experience. To me, it's truth. To me, nothing was linear and it all existed outside of time. That experience was more real to me than what anyone said was happening in the hospital. It brings me peace, and raises so many questions. I have experienced a moment of enlightenment and walked in death. I'm stronger and happier for it.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I realized perhaps I died before. I mean in this lifetime, not any past-life things. Which, if it was an undiagnosed genetic issue, could very well have happened. Though the last time didn't involve any hospitalization and I was alone when it happened. I had a very similar experience several years ago. It was the same silence, the same absolute peace and oneness, except that time I was floating in a cool pool of water with my face just above the surface. There were no beings around, nothing around me. It was just me. I was gazing up at the bluest, clearest sky I'd never seen in real life. It was a vast openness. I was surrounded by vibrant, red earth and mountains so red it was like someone took a red paintbrush over the Utah landscape. It was tThe bluest blue contrasting with the reddest red. In total, it was a peaceful stillness. Then my head went under water and I awoke.