Laurie L NDE

Experience Description

Growing Up

I was born and raised in Queens, New York, the youngest daughter in a family of five children. My Mom and Dad raised me Roman Catholic, and worked two jobs each to be able to send myself and two of my siblings to Catholic school. I attended private school from 6-8th grade, then an all girls Catholic school from 9th-11th grade. My parents weren't devout, and more times than not missed church on Sundays, but managed to get the family to Mass during holidays.

I was always a 'sensitive' child, having the ability to see spirits from an early age. Back when I was five or six, I would tell my family members I saw floating orbs and they told it was just my imagination. After some time, I began to lose that special sensitivity. When I was 17, my parents moved to Port Charlotte, Florida and I attended my senior year of high school in a co-ed public high school.

Before leaving New York, I was accepted into the Delayed Entry Program in the U.S. Navy, and would join the service after graduating high school in Florida, in May of 1985. I was sent to basic training at RTC Orlando for eight weeks, then I traveled to FLEASWTRACENLANT Norfolk for Ocean Systems Technician Analyst school for 16 weeks, then to NOPF Dam Neck, Virginia for 4 more weeks of training.

After successfully finishing training for my rating, I was sent to my first duty station, U.S. Naval Facility, Coos Head, in Oregon in November of 1985.

The Day I Almost Died

It was 1986, and I was 19 years old when I had my NDE. I was in Oregon, and at my new duty station, it was common to get involved in outdoors activities with my co-workers. The Morale, Welfare and Recreation (MWR) office at NAVFAC Coos Head encouraged fun and entertaining hobbies and excursions for all service members and their dependents. We could rent ATV's, RV's, camping equipment, paddle boards, boats, fishing and surfing gear. MWR also offered plenty of sports activities and weekend tickets to various activities. Among their offerings, was a day trip to go white water rafting on the Rogue River. It was interesting, but I wasn't a great swimmer. I was soon pressured to sign up for the white water rafting trip because everyone in my watch section was going. I purchased a ticket reluctantly, joining my co-workers on the Rogue River for their May group tour.

The current that year was historically higher and swifter than normal because spring had arrived, melting the snow in the mountains. I uneventfully traveled through the Class II, III rapids in an inflatable Sevylor one person kayak during the morning. The paddling seemed easy and the flow of the water and conversation around me was rather relaxed. The vast majority of the rapids were pretty forgiving. We stopped at midday for lunch on the shore and to take a rest break before continuing our trip to much more challenging sections of the river. After a few minor rapids in Mule Canyon, our guide led our group into the most dangerous part of the Rogue, known as Blossom Bar. The Class IV section of the river was clogged with huge boulders, and swirling hole like vortices. The standard route through the churning water to pass the boulders required me to make a crucial left-to-right paddling move to avoid being swept into a lineup of rocks known as the 'Picket Fence.' My failure to do that quickly, caused me to slam into the boulders, and roll out of the kayak into the freezing water.

I wore a life vest, but the current dragged me right into a boiling hole of turbulent water. The shock of the cold water caused me to gasp, and in doing so, I inhaled river water deep into my lungs. I became disoriented, losing my spatial orientation in the water. I could see the sky above, but couldn't reach the surface to get air. The current dragged me down the more I fought against it, my lungs burned as panic set in. I suddenly believed that I was going to die there, and the last thing I remember was saying, 'God please help me!' Without oxygen, I grew weaker and eventually stopped struggling entirely. I went limp in the cold darkness of the water, and suddenly I could no longer feel the burning and ache of the water in my lungs. The darkness around me grew completely white, and I felt like I was rushing at light speed through a tunnel. I felt warm as the pain left me, at peace with myself and the environment around me.

Unconditional, pure love radiated all around me, and into me. LOVE covered me like a warm blanket from an unknown source.

As I left the tunnel, I was aware of parts of my body that were visible like my hands, arms and chest. Looking down I couldn't see any feet. I did see a silver cord attached to my body which had a luminescence to it. Looking around me, I could see a room that appeared to be formed from pure white clouds, yet wasn't solid. In the room were three beings, made of shimmering crystal. Light shone through them like a glass prism, forming a rainbow. One was larger than the other two, but all of them spoke to me. I was afraid of them, and they seemed to realize this. Instantly, they transformed into what I recognized as angels. They didn't have bird wings, they had fibers like fiber optic cables that were shaped like wings and pure light shone through the fibers, forming colors in all shades. When they spoke, their messages were sent telepathically. They could read my thoughts.

Looking into their eyes, they were shades of intense colors that changed and shifted with electric sparks. Almost as if I were watching a DVD still spinning in a DVD player. And the love radiated from their eyes, as if I were the most precious creation God had ever placed into existence. It was as if they knew me intimately, yet I didn't feel uncomfortable feeling that they did.

The larger angel said, 'You have arrived too soon, the time has not come yet for you to be here. You must go back and finish your work on Earth. But since you are here, we will show you things.' The larger angel held a large book, but its pages were like images instead of words. I saw scenes of my life from the moment of my conception to the moment I fell out of the kayak into the river. The pages flipped rapidly, like watching a movie. I was instantly reminded of all the things I did for others, or failed to do for someone. They showed me a man I didn't know, whose face I could not see clearly, and many children that were still yet to be. One of the smaller angels said, 'I am Yahshael. I have been with you since the dawn of time, and I will be with you for eternity. You must go back, you have to be there for them. I will show you what you can look forward to until then, then you have to go back to your body.'

Instantly, Yahshael and I were teleported to the center of a vast golden field. I could hear the most beautiful music and I could feel it moving through me. The breeze blew against the tall golden wheat stalks, and as it did I could feel the spirit of all things living around me: animals, plants, the elements. I was one with them. I looked up and saw a huge ball of light that cast the purest, warm light all around me and felt God touch my skin. He knew me, he loved me no matter how imperfect my Earthly life had been. I was perfect and whole, I felt no pain. The angel took me up higher, and I felt like I was soaring endlessly. I could see a huge waterfall with no beginning and no end. Love and peace reigned here. I sensed the presence of loved ones that had passed on, but I didn't see them. We moved over the golden field, and at the end of it, was a country fence, and beyond that was a enormous tree with a canopy of gold leaves. When the breeze touched the leaves, they would fly off the tree's branches in the shape of colorful birds of all varieties. There was a lake beside it, and it flowed on both sides of the boundary. I looked down into the water, and it had a gloss to it like liquid mercury does. But when you look through it, you can see people that are living on earth.

Yahshael said again, 'I have been with you since the dawn of time, and I will be with you for eternity. You cannot cross the barrier. It is time for you to go back to your existence on Earth. You have work to finish first.' Words could not express the sorrow I felt to have to leave that place. I cried and begged for him to let me stay. He said, 'When it is time, I will come for you. But now-' And with that, he wrestled my spirit back into my earthly body, with so much force that I was popped clear of the rocky hole that I was trapped in under the water. All the water I inhaled came flying out of my lungs, as I gasped and took a panicked breath of air. I became aware of the pain almost immediately in my chest, and the hand of a rescuer grabbing me by the back of my life vest. I nearly knocked him out of his kayak, and then someone else on a bigger water boat pulled me up into the boat and back into this Earthly dimension. It took me a long time to understand why I am here, and still I question. 'why me?

I even did research about the Rogue River after my near-drowning. Over 21 people have died at Blossom Bar since my NDE. They died, and I survived.

Because of my NDE, I am closer to God, and realize now that life is not a series of consequences, but of parallels and choices. My choices directly affect those around me, and we are all interconnected. My purpose had not yet been fullfilled, it would take me years to realize that I was meant to heal others. My sensitive abilities grew stronger after my NDE. I am empathic, claircognizant and clairaudient now. I can hear the voices of those beyond the veil, but still have not trained myself to see spirit clearly with my human eyes.

My NDE has and will continue to be the most metaphysically profound experience I've ever had. I was brought to tears writing this memory of my experience, because my words pale in comparison to all the things I saw, felt and heard during my journey into a heavenly realm. I'm not religious, but I remain closer to spirit than ever because of my NDE. I know that there are dimensions beyond this one, and that I am here for a reason.

I have a purpose, and until it is fulfilled I will be here.


Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: May 1986

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drowning Life-threatening event, but not clinical death Near-drowning

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I am empathic, and able to discern other's moods and emotions. I can hear the voices of spirits and have premonitory dreams and thoughts.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I stopped struggling in the water and went through a tunnel of pure white light.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning A moment in that realm seemed like an eternity compared to where I had been in the river while drowning.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could see much clearer after the experience than I did before. Colors were much more vivid as well. The white light was the purest I've ever seen and it didn't cause me to want to shield my eyes from the glare.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could not hear spirit voices before my NDE, but could immediately after

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I felt out of kayak into dark river water. When I surrendered to death the water became white and formed a tunnel that my spirit was funneled into.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I only could feel their presence, but I didn't see them.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was pure, sometimes having form without having form.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Instantly, Yahshael and I were teleported to the center of a vast golden field. I could hear the most beautiful music and I could feel it moving through me. The breeze blew against the tall golden wheat stalks, and as it did I could feel the spirit of all things living around me: animals, plants, the elements. I was one with them. I looked up and saw a huge ball of light that cast the purest, warm light all around me and felt God touch my skin. He knew me, he loved me no matter how imperfect my Earthly life had been. I was perfect and whole, I felt no pain. The angel took me up higher, and I felt like I was soaring endlessly. I could see a huge waterfall with no beginning and no end. Love and peace reigned here. I sensed the presence of loved ones that had passed on, but I didn't see them. We moved over the golden field, and at the end of it, was a country fence, and beyond that was a enormous tree with a canopy of gold leaves. When the breeze touched the leaves, they would fly off the tree's branches in the shape of colorful birds of all varieties. There was a lake beside it, and it flowed on both sides of the boundary. I looked down into the water, and it had a gloss to it like liquid mercury does. But when you look through it, you can see people that are living on earth.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt a sense of warmth, of intense LOVE and PEACE that radiated all around me, and through me.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I realized that I was supposed to finish out my life here, that I had a purpose to be here to help someone.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events The larger angel held a large book, but its pages were like images instead of words. I saw scenes of my life from the moment of my conception to the moment I fell out of the kayak into the river. The pages flipped rapidly, like watching a movie. I was instantly reminded of all the things I did for others, or failed to do for someone.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future They showed me the image of a man I didn't know, whose face I could not see clearly, and many children that were still yet to be.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic Non-practicing, but spiritual

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths Non-religious, liberal views, Spiritual.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience It was Heaven, or a Heavenly dimension that I had traveled to. There was ABSOLUTELY NOTHING comparable to what I saw, heard or felt during my NDE to being here on Earth.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I am worthy of love, and I needed to love myself enough to love others.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Looking around me, I could see a room that appeared to be formed from pure white clouds yet wasn't solid. In the room were three beings, made of shimmering crystal. Light shone through them like a glass prism, forming a rainbow. One was larger than the other two, but all of them spoke to me. I was afraid of them, and they seemed to realize this. Instantly, they transformed into what I recognized as angels. They didn't have bird wings, they had fibers like fiber optic cables that were shaped like wings and pure light shone through the fibers, forming colors in all shades. When they spoke, their messages were sent telepathically. They could read my thoughts. Looking into their eyes, they were shades of intense colors that changed and shifted with electric sparks. Almost as if I were watching a DVD still spinning in a DVD player. And the love radiated from their eyes, as if I were the most precious creation God had ever placed into existence. It was as if they knew me intimately, yet I didn't feel uncomfortable feeling that they did.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes That the image of the man and children, were the faces of my future husband and my two children.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes One of the three angels revealed himself as a being of light that had known my soul since I was created and would continue to be with me for eternity.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I believe I met my guardian angel, and two archangels during my NDE. I felt the presence of God all around me.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes That I had a job here on earth that I had to finish to completion before I could return there to stay forever.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I believe I died and what I experienced was heaven. I felt the unconditional love of God.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt the most perfect level of love imaginable during my NDE, it was intense and given without condition or expectation. It was as though they radiated adoration and love from their eyes and directed it at me. It was as if they knew every cell of my being.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I converted from Roman Catholic to born-again Christian and remained conservative until a few years ago. Now I am just spiritually aware, and not getting myself sucked up into religious zealotry.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I was in an abusive relationship at the time, and it caused me to become more confident and strong, so much so that I left that relationship more focused on improving my self-esteem and assertiveness.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Words pale in comparison to the actual experience of what I saw, heard and felt during my NDE.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. My memory of the events that transpired during my NDE has never faded, it has only become clearer.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I feel the emotions and moods of other people, and am highly sensitive to my environment (physically, mentally, emotionally and metaphysically) I am clairaudient and claircognizant.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? That I have an angel watching over me that has been with me for a VERY LONG time. The golden tree with the leaves that turned to birds is something I still see in my dreams and it fills me with a sense of peace.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes They were stunned. Some people thought that God and heaven didn't exist before hearing my story and changed their mindset.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably not real I wasn't sure if it happened, but images began to come through weeks after my experience through very lucid dreams.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I remember everything that happened during my NDE in great detail, and recalling it often brings me to tears. I want to go back.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I think I have covered all areas of my NDE

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Less repetitive questions would be a suggestion.