Lawrence H NDE

Experience Description

On or about Jan 31, 1977 I started feeling flu-like symptoms (fever, chills, general weakness and fatigue). Over the next few days, I became worse and was prescribed antibiotics. However, I continued to have a high fever and was transferred by ambulance to hospital with great difficulty breathing. I was immediately transferred to the ICU and put on life support. I recall several medical procedures being performed (insertion of breathing tubes, IVs. bone marrow biopsy, renal biopsy, blood gas monitoring every 15 minutes, chest x-rays, nuclear tracing). On February 12, at 9:42p.m., I `straight-lined`. What followed in the next 2-3 minutes was very dramatic and profound, as well as life altering!

I felt like I was floating in space (saw vivid colors of the universe like floating gases). Then, I was drawn to a very bright and peaceful light. It felt like I was on an escalator, moving upward without moving a muscle. When I reached the top, the light disappeared and I was in darkness. Immediately a voice called my name. I turned to the right but saw nothing. A voice called my name for the second time. I turned 180 degrees to the left.

Standing there, on a slightly elevated stage, were my Grandfather and my Uncle (both of whom had died). My Grandfather asked me if I knew who they were, and I replied 'yes'. He smiled and said they wanted me to come with them. I thought about my wife and baby daughter and told them that I could not and that I must go back! `The choice is yours', he said. He reached out and shook my hand and said 'Take Care`. The handshake felt very warm and full of energy.

I recall waking up in the ICU and thinking that everything was going to be okay. In fact, it was the best feeling I have ever experienced. Within 3 weeks, I was discharged from the hospital and after several tests to satisfy the medical personnel at in Canada, I returned to work as an Air Traffic Controller in July 1977.

One of the most interesting aspects was the morning I was discharged. The ICU doctor came into my room and placed my chart on my bed. Without saying a word, he continued to the window where he stood watching an airplane depart the airport. He then turned to me and asked, `do you believe in God?' Coming from a medical, scientific mind, I was surprised. I told him 'yes'. 'That is good' he said, 'I have been working in the ICU for over 20 years and there is no way that you should be alive! Someone gave you a second chance and you better make the best of it!' That statement changed my life! I do not know if I have made the best of it and sometimes I wish I had gone with my Grandfather the first time.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 'February 12, 1977'

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I had a severe viral infection (virus never isolated or identified) which led to cardio-pulmonary and renal failure, resulting in death.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No No

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Warm pure energy (pure love) I have never felt that euphoric feeling before or since.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When my Grandfather shook my hand.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. As far as physical vision I noticed no changes.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No changes noted.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

The experience included: Tunnel

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was dark all around except for the light. I felt like I was ascending towards the light, as if I was on an escalator.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Warm inviting light. Normally, my eyes are very sensitive to bright lights, but this light did not hurt my eyes.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Happiness, peace, love.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

The experience included: Awareness of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I was given a choice to return. I was 24 years old and was married with a baby daughter. I wanted to return to them.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant I am very `spiritual`` but am now very skeptical of organized religion

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I believed ,as a Christian,in life after death. However,this experience was different than I could ever have imagined

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I try every day to be a good person and I look forward, in a positive way, to going `home` again! Greed and vanity were no longer of any value in my life.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify A voice called my name twice. I did not recognize the voice until I turned around and saw my Grandfather.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes My Grandfather and Uncle were there to meet me and would have taken care of me if I had chosen to go with them. They both looked healthy and happy.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I felt it in the light,and especially in my grandfather`s touch

Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Human qualities of greed and vanity became irrelevant. I try every day to be a good person and I look forward, in a positive way, to going `home` again!

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I do not like or associate with phony people who are greedy and full of vanity. I have also become withdrawn and am definitely not an extrovert. However, I try to be on good terms with most people.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Seeing my grandfather and talking to him. I felt love in the light, and especially in my grandfather`s touch. I felt more positive and reassured. I used to avoid talking about death, but now I am at peace with it.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I never discussed it with anyone for about 5 years. Talked to my Grandmother about seeing grandpa and we both cried.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I should have died like the doctor told me, but I knew I was given a choice. I became somewhat introverted; I had to search for answers and my truth.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I have read extensively on NDEs and the afterlife and I am convinced my experience was real and valid. I could never have fictionalized such an amazing experience.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Scenes in the movies `GHOST' and 'DRAGONFLY' have come very close to my experience.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? When my wife was dying, I held her and told her to go through the light and everything would be okay. She died peacefully in my arms. My experience helped her to go home.