Leea W NDE

Experience Description

I had spent years battling more than one auto-immune disorder and had undergone a few surgeries related to my chronic illnesses. In addition to that, within the space of 13 months I had undergone two heart surgeries and a fractured spine that needed to be fused. The fractured spine occurred while recovering from heart surgery while awaiting brain surgery to remove a tumor that was diagnosed the same day as the heart condition.

I was losing my balance and peripheral vision as a result of the tumor and consequently fell down a half-flight of stairs and broke my back. It was while in the hospital with a post-surgical spinal infection following the fusion that I began to leak cerebral fluid through my nose. The doctors told me that I could not wait to recover from my respective surgeries but would have to undergo brain surgery as soon as possible. I mention all this because I had suffered greatly and because of that and a poor quality of life, I told my husband that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES did I ever want to be revived should I die; this had been long established and I had a standing DNR. I even made my husband practice saying, 'No, I do not want my wife resuscitated.' I was adamant!

On the way to the emergency room, I yelled, 'Call Jason! Call Jason! I need to hear his voice. I am dying.' Jason is my son. It was urgent that I needed to say goodbye to my son.

Everything happened very rapidly upon my arrival at the hospital. I had vomited so much that I was dry-heaving but lacked the strength to bring my body into an erect position in order to vomit. Blood tests were run and a diagnosis of post-surgical hyponatremia was made. I lapsed in and out of semi-consciousness.

When the Phlebotomist arrived to draw blood, my husband immediately recognized her as a Phlebotomist we befriended during my frequent visits to lab for regular blood draws. Her name is Shirley. My husband reported that she drew the blood and her face went pale. When he asked her what's wrong, Shirley said, 'I cannot tell you or I'll lose my job.' My husband implored her and she showed him a vile that looked like it contained only water. It was clear and not red. There were no live red blood cells, a foreboding sign of things to come.

I can't say how long it was until I absolutely KNEW I was within minutes of dying but there came a point where I was certain of it. If you can visualize a soap bubble blown and floating in the air until it pops, that's what it felt like to me. My cells felt like bubbles that were popping throughout my body. When the ultimate realization came to me that I had two, maybe three breaths left, I instantly became terrified of dying. I, like many people, had always flippantly said that I'm not afraid of dying. But here I sat, right on the cusp of my last breath and I was afraid. I experienced the same kind of adrenaline rush one feels when they come within a hairs breath of a life-threatening car accident. My heart was in my throat. I felt fear. Then came the shame I felt because I was going to die terrified and feeling ashamed of myself. The feeling was sad, ugly, and overwhelming; meanwhile breathing was getting harder and harder.

I had not been given any hallucinatory drugs or pain killers. Then I had an experience at the apex of my fear and shame; in all my anxiety and fear. I suddenly felt a hand rest on top of my right shoulder. The hand gently gripped my should and drew me backward toward itself. I was enfolded into the arms of this magnificent, loving presence. There was no tunnel or journey. My fear and dread were completely gone as if they had never occurred. I found myself instantly in this incredible sea of living light. It's so hard to describe accurately as I was a part of this sea. It was in me and through me. This space of light was alive and nurturing. With me was a divine presence that I immediately associated with Jesus.

I can only relate this experience as being in the universal womb of love. It is a love that is nothing like what we humans call love here on earth. I basked in this nurturing environment and received information via intuitive knowingness. I was told I would return because I still had work to do. With that, I was instantly back in the hospital room. My husband was sitting across from my hospital bed with his head down. I was positioned to his left and slightly above him. I saw my body in the bed.

I also saw a nurse in the doorway. She raised her voice loudly as she addressed my husband, 'Mr Winter, Mr. Winter, do you want us to enforce the DNR?' Strangely, I recalled my having made him practice saying, 'No, let her go.' I was right there whispering in his ear, 'Say yes; say yes! Suddenly, he lifted his head and said, 'Yes! Do everything you can.' As if I were drugged, everything faded to black. I would awake days later surprised that I had spent six days in the hospital. My husband said I had rambled for days as if I were in conversation with God.

After my near-death experience, I had instances of intuitive knowingness with a certainty that was uncanny. I never attributed it to myself but as continuation of a two-way communication started while outside my body. I can attest with absolute certainty that when the body-vehicle is dropped, our consciousness does not blink, not even for a nanosecond.

I hesitate to share this part, but because it did actually happen and because I know that these experiences are part of the 'work' I came back to do, I am compelled to share. There were more than a few instances that I still, to this day, find hard to digest with my human mind. A few of my post-NDE experiences came in the form of being the recipient of precise communications and information from souls who had transitioned and who sought to offer assurance to a loved-one who were grieving. One experience, happened with a perfect stranger at the shopping mall.

I also experienced an instant and insatiable appetite for mathematics and physics. I consumed volumes of books. I understood and could elaborate upon the thesis offered. I read dozens of books on Ancient India, the wisdom of the Vedas, Upanishads, and the Mahabharata. I experienced myself as being a part of a living field, the Akashic field, the Higgs Field, the Unified Field, Ether and etc. I further experienced everything as living sentients and being humans as holographic fractals of Supreme Source. That is manifest in a form relative to our resonate frequency. There were also profound intra-personal/spiritual experiences with animal sentients that defied human logic or expectation. Had I not recorded them, they would be hard to believe.

As my meditation practices matured, I came to the realization that, at least for me, the place I went in my NDE was exactly the same place one visits during transcendental meditation. Thus, making meditation a valuable practice for omy mental, physical, spiritual health, and for preparation for that journey that begins upon death of the body.

There is so much more, including another NDE, but this one is paramount and has had an everlasting effect on me.

Post Script: I recently required a high-risk surgery related to my aorta. Because arteries and valves were involved, it was essential that I have blood on standby for transfusion should the robot nick a vein, artery, or valve. When I told my surgical team that I did not want a blood transfusion, I received a mixed look of consternation, disbelief, and trepidation as I was bluntly informed that my life would hang in the balance. I smiled and told the young surgeons I had total confidence in them and that I had no worries. There was no more fear, only a wonderful knowingness of the bliss that abounds went we leave this mortal domain.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: September 6, 2013

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related. Life threatening event, but not clinical death. I had undergone brain surgery for the removal of a tumor approximately a week before my NDE. I had returned home but felt weak and quite ill. On the evening of September 6, 2013, I experienced an internal feeling that is still hard to properly describe. I felt as if I were literally dying; it was as if I could feel the cells in my body collapsing within. After nonstop vomiting and a violent headache, I collapsed. My husband managed to get me into the car and headed for the nearest emergency room.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I described this experience in detail in my narrative. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. In truth, it was and is not comparable. Here, on this plane, we speak in terms that are entirely dependent upon consensual agreement based on what we can describe via our senses and our limited levels of consciousness. In that place, there is no time or judgment. There is simply an expanse of beingness and of knowingness of All, that surpasses my ability to relate it in humanistic terms.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At the moments before I experienced intervention via the hand on my shoulder, while in bliss, and upon my return to the room. Being in 'the presence' was the deepest, most profound of my experiences. But I carry that with me even now.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. The sense of timelessness was same timelessness experienced in meditation. There are no limitations such a time, body, language, thought, etc. In this place, it is an infinitude of potentiality.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I answered NO to questions 6. and 7. because thoughts are limiting and entirely human as is sensory perception and reception. When I was within the dimensional awareness of THE ALL, there is no limiting mechanics such as thoughts and senses as I was ONE with ALL. We ARE ALL.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I can only offer the answer proffered above. Human perception is not a capable or worthy vehicle for conveyance of the experience of being in the space of the ALL. As an example: there was a moment I wasn't feeling or aware of the energy called 'wind.' I 'was' the wind.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I did not see a singular light. I was embedded in a living sea of light that was alive, nurturing, and went in, through and all around me. This description is woefully inadequate but words are not enough to relate the totality of this experience to others.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. I entered a warm and soothing sea of light. It felt like being a womb of love; a place of nurturing and love; a familiar and serene place; and a birthing place.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? LOVE 'EMPIRICAL TRUTH 'AUTHENTICITY 'SUPREME PEACE and TRANQUILITY

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. I've described this in my narrative. It's impossible to relate in humanistic terms, but it is an experience of simply dropping that which binds us to human identity and limitations. Thereby we are within the unified field of all knowingness.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future. This is a long story. To suffice, I came to see everything that would happen in the near future. When I returned, I had a knowingness as to readying myself and my family for what I saw to come.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other faiths- New age. I had spent years as a Christian and had begun to explore alternative spiritual paths such as Buddhism, Zen, and ultimately Self Realization after my NDE

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes It is the path of self-realization that defines both our purpose for being here and the essence of near death experiences.

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths: Self Realization and liberation of the Soul/Consciousness.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. The belief that there is a higher source/God. We are eternal souls/consciousness. Those we confirmed and thus remained consistent. The narrow and restricted belief systems hoisted upon humanity in the form of religions was shown to be a falsity that was inconsistent with traditional religious values.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I went from unknowing to knowing, from confusion to certainty, from hope and blind faith to truth, from empty to overflowing, from precarious conditional love to unconditional boundless love, and from fear to serenity.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. There was no audible voice. It was what you'd call telepathic communication that was a knowingness.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes For me the presence was Isa (Jesus).

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I described this in response to the previous question.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes We are that supreme awareness experiencing itself, in fractals of awareness and unique individualized experience.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes But I must say that is not unique to me. We are all vessels/instruments of this wisdom and knowingness. We have merely forgotten who and what we are, why we are here, and what our journey is about. This is why we are given the teachers we call the caterpillar, the butterfly, the salmon, etc. The examples are all around us.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes 'As Above, So Below.' 'As Within, So without.' This tells us that we need but look at the Divine's last remaining true witness, nature for wisdom regarding this inquiry. I received the caterpillar as an example. We are akin to the caterpillar, we are birthed or hatched into this world. We sleep, move, consume, grow, and presumably die. But it's what happens in that chrysalis when the earthly body is dissolved and new being emerges that contains the magic. For when the butterfly emerges, it has in its being, a calling. It is inexplicably drawn to unknown lands. In this journey, it travels afar to reach its home. It's birthplace and its resting place. Consider the salmon. It is drawn to its spawning grounds and so too are we. We are drawn to something greater; something beyond our earthy limitations. We try to satisfy this yearning with material things, intellect, beauty, lust, power, etc. But self-realization of our true nature and purpose, and our return to source are all our purpose of being. This is what I was shown, what I experienced, and what I share now.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes I believe I have described this knowingness in my narrative and in previous text boxes. I will add to it that I saw that we are all holographic fractals of supreme consciousness that is experiencing itself as a singularity. This supreme consciousness is formed to create another note in cosmic awareness, wisdom, and love. We are all notes in a divine symphony.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Of this, I am uncertain as to how and how much to share.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes We see hardship and difficulties as bad things. But in truth, they are our greatest teachers. These experiences are doorways, or a fork in the road. We can choose an opportunity to learn, grown, and make wiser choices. We create karma in all we think, feel, say, and do. This includes what we call good, bad, indifferent, etc. We are constantly interacting within a electro-magnetically polarized Interference Field of energies. It's a dance, so to speak. Once we realize this, we are afforded the wisdom of having a broader perspective that informs our decisions and behavior.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Hmmm. To this I cannot speak well. The answer is yes, but it is beyond words. The closest I can come is that Love is the very glue that holds everything together. It is so much more than what we humans define it as. Yet, we have glimpses of love when we see a baby born; when we watch a sunset; or hear beautiful music or a beautiful haunting voice; when we experience awe and wonder.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. Considering my verbose answers, I quote Jane Austen relative to my discourse, 'You have delighted us long enough.'

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? It has to do with that heightened and border perspective I spoke of earlier.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes This is an ironic question for the obvious reasons apparent in the inquiry. Above this, I cannot speak further.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Like any other experience that marks us for life, an NDE marks one in ways that exceed any human standard.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I described some in my narrative.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Nope, it's all amazing and wonderful and can be bound up in one short description - a profound course correction.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have told a few people about my experience, But, more important to me was implementing the course corrections. I experienced being more of what we all came here to become was what has driven me, along with an unquenchable thirst for truth, wisdom, and being of service.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. Truth is its own and best defense. By that I mean to relate that sentients who are still in touch with integrity KNOW truth when they experience it. And that's the key to this particular truth; being EXPERIENTIAL is self-verifying. There is absolutely not one iota of doubt relative to my experiences, the phenomenal and verifiable occurrences that followed, and the evidence of my life itself.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. Same as above.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Oh yes, and quite regularly, or as often as I am willing to engage in meditation and the practice of silent retreat.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I wish to thank you for your work and for creating this forum. I never quite knew where of even if my story belonged anywhere but my heart. Now it is here where I offer it back to the universe and say 'thank you so much.'

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