Leila D NDE

Experience Description


Describe the Experience: When the doctor told me I was dying. I knew I was terribly sick but the news made me emotionally freeze, followed by fear. My loved ones came to my hospital bedside and said their final goodbyes. My pastor said a final prayer for me. Everyone was leaving my room. My son looked back and said, 'Goodbye mommy, I'll come back to see you tomorrow to brush your hair.' This was so heart wrenching. In my thoughts, I cried out to God to please help me because I did not want to die. I could not stay awake any longer.

Next, I was above my body. I knew that I was dead. It was dark in the room, but I could see light. I was fearful at first, but the closer I got to the light. my feelings started changing. All fear and negativity disappeared. I did not walk into the light, yet it felt like I was being pulled into it; it was like being slowly sucked into the light. This light was so bright, yet it wasn't blinding and it didn't hurt my eyes. The light was soft and comfortable but brighter than looking at the sun.

When I reached the brightest point, I was no longer moving. I was at peace. I felt so many positive and wonderful feelings, such as calmness, peace, joy, love, and trust. In that moment, my experience was orders of magnitude better than any kind of earthly experience. For instance, I consider a mother's joy and love felt from the birth of her child is the best earthly feeling. But this experience makes that appear like a drop of water compared to a vast sea or ocean of this experience. There was no other place I wanted to be.

I could see a white, shadowy, female figure. I heard a voice, but the Male voice did not come from this figure. I was told to go back, all is well. The voice wasn't heard with my ears, but with my mind. I wanted go get closer to them, but couldn't. I knew that this was the boundary. When I refused to come back, the white, shadowy figure came closer to me. I knew this was my grandmother who raised me. She was bathed in soft, bright white light. It looked like cottony-soft clouds, unlike wearing clothes. She told me that it wasn't my time and that I had to return. She didn't say why, but I knew it was because my work on earth wasn't done. My children needed me. This knowledge didn't come from me, it was given to me in that moment. Yet still, I did not want to return.

In one quick movement, I was back in my body. The light was gone and I woke up in my hospital room as I gasped for air.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 2004

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Out of body experience I was in total and complete liver failure; my other organs were shutting down. The doctor contacted family members told them to hurry and get my loved ones to say their final goodbyes, to have my pastor say my final prayer ,and to get my affairs in order. He expected they had 24-48 hours, at the most.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. In this experience, I felt an inconceivable level of consciousness. I now have no questions of whether there is an afterlife.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The closer I got to the light and at the brightest point in the light. I do want to note that despite I had religious beliefs prior to this experience I still had questions doubts on some things and I was not practicing my religion or active in my church at this time. In this experience I felt an inconceivable level of consciousness than I knew to exist. I now have no questions of whether there is an afterlife.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I do want to note that despite I had religious beliefs prior to this experience I still had questions doubts on some things and I was not practicing my religion or active in my church at this time. In this experience I felt an inconceivable level of consciousness than I knew to exist. I now have no questions of whether there is an afterlife.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. All of my senses were heightened. I could hear but I wasn't hearing with my ears and I was very aware of it.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain When I first was aware I was outside my body above it, it was dark but a light that got brighter as I was 'sucked' towards it. Couldn't really describe it as a tunnel because no definite shape of what we know as tunnels but completely surrounded going from one point to another but it was everywhere no matter what direction you looked it was toward the light. I can't definitively say it was a tunnel.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My grandmother who raised me but passed when I was 11 years old.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It's in the story already hard to explain.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Started out fear quickly overcame by Love joy peace calm trust such wonderful tranquility uplifting and connected belonging part of a whole 'universe'

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe Just given knowledge that the purpose is greater than the here and now, that nature the world the universe and the afterlife is all one, that our purpose is so much greater than we live it, that there's so much more and not to fear. Completion is not earthly.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Yes like a movie in a flash but it wasn't concerning to me it was simultaneous to the rest of what was happening.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I didn't decide to return. I didn't want to return when experiencing that you'd never want to return. That experience all left behind you didn't fear or worry you knew all was well but I was told to return given knowledge that it wasn't my time that I was chosen and all was well I had to finish what I was meant to do here in earth. As to definite knowledge of exactly what that is, I'm not sure if, but it did include letting me know God's plan and my children needed me. I was disappointed that I was sent back despite being scared and not wanting to die prior to this experience but prior I did call out to God to save me that I did not want to die, pleading on behalf of on children.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant I had my faith but not practicing or participating in it or my church.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I want to read more of the bible to study it more to learn how much of it I thought I once knew that I've come to realize I was just a baby in what I know and just when I think I get it all understood I discover how it goes in so much deeper even. It's with the entire universe and everything in it is like a tightly woven fabric of many colors of the strongest threads that are unbreakable. The closer you look the finer the detail you notice and how the threads are not individual as they seem as one.

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant My religious beliefs have never been stronger. There are no doubts or questions in my mind that there is a heavenly place, this I know to be true!

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I had religious beliefs but drifted away from my church. I wanted to believe and yet too much in life had happened to not have questions. But this experience I knew there's an afterlife. I knew the voice was from God/Jesus. But it's a feeling not a particular thing to explain. My written experience says what I experienced and that's how I know that my religious beliefs I once questioned. I no more questioned I now KNOW without any doubts.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Head string on my religious beliefs, the afterlife, and the real meaning and purpose of life.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I knew the voice I heard was from God or Jesus.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes The knowledge was given to me on a telepathic level not in words not in events but by being there in that moment, it's not a matter of time. Time is irrelevant, all else we worry about here on earth is irrelevant. It's a higher level. No words to explain.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes The voice I heard with my mind not my ears I knew was from God, I knew in the light it was God like being in the light you are in him or his presence surrounded encased in all of God. It's hard to explain and I know my words aren't explaining it to the extent of it or maybe not even in the right description but there are no words.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Already stated in previous comments.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes That it's not ours. That we are just a part a belonging to a much larger complete oneness. We are all part of the universe part of one entirety. That it's not up to us we can ask but ultimately it's up to the master plan that is not ours.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife probably does not exist Yes The closer to the light the knowledge is just thee in a feeling, you sense it feel it know it are experiencing it.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes There's nothing to fear. Life is like a young child that scared of swimming in the lake. They fear it until they are in the lake and learn to swim. Then they don't want to leave it. Life is either a blessing, the only choice we have in it is to either enhance that blessing or live in the lessons.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Part of the plan to form us into becoming whole/goodness.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes That earthly love has nothing on the after earthly life love. Love is everywhere and surrounds us. We feel God's love, but it is God's actions that tells us we don't just feel love, we must become love.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I believe the enemy came after me with a vengeance after I was sent back. I believe there is a great spiritual war between good and evil that exists and the closet we are to God the harder the enemy tries to bring us down.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Separates toxic from good. Don't compromise your values, God doesn't.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It's like watching your entire life like a movie but in a single millisecond all the while you are very aware of what's taking place. The feelings are so wonderful that there really are no words to explain. It's like knowledge given without words and feelings that have no words in our vocabulary.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? That I was chosen to be sent back. Not very many are. That I believe is pretty special.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I was scared to shared it. Everyone has seen it on tv and I watched how others react to it. I didn't talk about it because I didn't want to be criticized. It took me about 5 to 6 years later to speak about it to family friends. I was dismissed as being hopeful or dreaming. I didn't share gain until later when I talked to the pastor who said my final prayer. Since then, I've not been afraid to share it. I feel bad for those who choose not to believe.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain Watched on talk shows but I have to admit I truly didn't believe them until after my own experience.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I believed it as soon as I woke up after the experience. No doubts or questions because all my questions/doubts were answered.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Same as when it first occurred. I think being more aware that God truly dies exist and now many other unimaginable experiences and close calls fits right in with the battle of good vs evil. No doubts. My faith is only strengthened by my life's struggles fir I know there is more to all if this. I will follow the Lord always.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I too did not believe in these kinds of experiences I wouldn't say I thought others were lying. I'd say I was more apt to believe they had a dream or some kind of off balance or medication issue but now I know better.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I'm unaware of what time mine happened but I would be curious to know if there are certain times of day that are more common to experience an NDE.