Loren M Probable NDE

Experience Description

I survived an ascending aortic aneurysm and had two open heart surgeries within 20 hours. I have no memory or sense of time or duration, only incident.

I became part of an intense, brilliant light with no visualization of any entity, object or Being. I could hear a myriad of vocalizations but could not decipher, interpret or understand any language. I felt like I was a part of something. I was at peace, an incredibly peaceful and brilliant peace that I still find difficult to articulate.

I have shared this with my spouse and she's encouraged me to write about this and I find that difficult to do. I have coined a 'pet phrase' that I shared with a colleague who also experienced death. I told him that my experience was like an omnipresent present, unparalleled peace in the absence of consciousness. When I shared this with him, he turned pale and quietly, surprisingly said, 'yes'!


Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: February, 2012

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) I survived an ascending aortic aneurysm and had two open heart surgeries within 20 hours.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal. I don't know how to address this query. I could not differentiate myself from this omnipresent light. It was as if I was part of this brilliant light, not separate from it. Consciousness wasn't necessary.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I don't believe that I was conscious at all until several days later after being released from post-op cardiac intensive care. I do remember healing rapidly as I had surgeries on a Monday and was discharged on Friday of that same week. I was struck by such a rapid recovery and I can only attribute that to my experience. I thought, maybe more felt, that my near death experience was the impetus for this recovery.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. I could not differentiate time or anything. It was much like being completely, unreservedly part of something greater than 'I'.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I can only say that the ethereal realm is beyond our ability to 'gift' the experience to others. I do know that I am not afraid to die now, and I can't say that out loud as most would 'run' to the suicide thoughts which is the farthest from the truth.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could not discriminate any language at all. It was more a feeling of presence or belonging and there was no discrimination of language.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Metaphorically, I was a part of this light, not separate from nor able to 'see' or differentiate anything at all.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. The only words I came up with to describe my experience were: an unparalleled, omnipresent peace in the absence of consciousness.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Without a doubt, I was a part of everything; not a separate entity.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic I was born and raised as Catholic, even considered the priesthood, but over time I have rejected religions as being 'big business' profiteers.

What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic I have rejected religions completely.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I no longer award any credibility in any faith-based practices that promote 'heaven' and 'hell' or 'God's'. That, to me now, is mythology. Yeah, and I once was a devout Catholic guy who once considered the priesthood!!!

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I am more in doubt religions and their postulates.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify The only 'necessary' voice I heard was when I returned to my body, presumably in the post-op CICU, when I resisted returning to my body. What I heard was 'it's not necessary to struggle'. I have a vague awareness that I recall a voice iterating my attempt to remove my trachea breathing tube as 'don't resist this'.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain I'm not sure about what you mean by 'special knowledge' as much of what I experienced. I would categorize as 'special knowledge'. I KNOW that I am part of something beyond my intellectual capability to describe rhetorically. It is very much like knowing something that you just cannot explain in a way that others would NOT interpret to fit their belief schema.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife probably exists No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Unknown

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The only person I dared speak with about this was my spouse. When I attempted to discuss this experience with others, 'they' interpreted my experience into their belief system and tried to explain to me what I experienced. So, I stopped sharing anything with anyone other than my lovely spouse.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I find it difficult at times to set aside my urge to discredit all religions because most folks on this planet find religious affiliation comforting.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Several weeks post-op, I shared my experience with my spouse.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I have been a clinical mental health practitioner and counselor educator for the past 50 years. I have heard and read 'stories' about NDEs but the experience of such an event in my life was never anticipated.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I found it difficult to share it with anyone, even my beloved spouse. It took me a few days and she helped me fill in some blanks because I was not conscious for several days. The other 'amazing' things were my rapid recovery and healing and I believe that these, too, were an outcome of my experience.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. The only belief I can carry with me derives from the fact that something ethereal occurred in my experience that manifested in rapid recovery and the ability to articulate the experience.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No