Malcom R NDE

Experience Description

We had a party about a year after I had been shot.

Two people started doing a tiny amount of drugs and passed out almost right away. There was a lot of the drug left on the table. No one would tell me what it was before I took it, but I guessed it was fentanyl. I ate three big rocks of the stuff, figuring there wasn’t enough narcan in the Midwest to bring me back. They called an ambulance. The first responders did manage bring me back. When I got to the hospital my heart rate was 16BPM.

Before I was revived, I had the most amazing experience I’ve ever had. I don’t remember seeing the Beings, but I felt them taking me somewhere amazing. It was bright. It was as if I was being lifted through a beautiful, bright mist or clouds and closer to what was lighting them up and making them so bright.

I woke up super sad that I couldn’t finish my journey, but I understood that my brain was shut off somehow. I made to understand that I’m here for a reason. I think I’m meant to save more lives, but I need to find out how from within myself. I'm not sure to do that yet.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 11/2023

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Suicide attempt. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) I tried to kill myself.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I had no emotions except for one I can’t really name. It wasn’t Happiness or joy, but maybe acceptance would be a good word. It was more than an understanding that everything was going to be okay.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Before and after I stopped breathing.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. Time is a crazy concept and I’m not educated enough to comment on time and its properties and even if I did, it just seemed like time didn’t matter.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was like an instagram filter that brightened the whole universe.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard nothing.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain It was bright with clouds or mist. I don’t know really what was going on just that everything was going to be okay.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It’s unlike any light you or me would normally ever see. I think it’s more than light. I believe the light could be knowledge somehow being inserted into a brain that’s not functioning.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. I was going to the most amazing place imaginable. I didn’t see it, but I was being taken there.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I think acceptance is the best word but there’s not a comparable emotion I’ve really felt. I knew everything was going to be okay.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. Not everything. I was given some knowledge on how to be a better man and treat people.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? I know there are some types of beings that take you to where you go when you die. When I stopped breathing I felt them taking me and it was the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt. I could not see the being but I knew they were taking me where I needed to go and I knew everything was going to be okay. It was like traveling toward the sun through beautiful clouds. What you said on JRE about people who die almost always feeling sense of peace or that they’re exactly where they need to be is 100% right. Not breathing for minutes made me realize death is not to be feared but embraced. You may have a horrible death but I know now even if that happens to me everything will be so amazing afterwards. I was raised Lutheran and still try to believe. Not breathing for several minutes has restored my faith a lot.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I stopped going to church but feel more in touch with my spirituality than ever.

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant. I was almost killed as a baby as a close family member which caused me to be angry at religion and god the older I got. I became a bad man. I then got shot two years after getting sober and got angrier and my faith was pretty much gone. I killed myself. I tried to kill myself soon after, I wanted to go back and go to wherever I was going when I stopped breathing. After long reflection and meditation, I realize I’m supposed to be here.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I thought “heaven” might be real but now I know it’s most likely a real place. I wish I would have made it all the way to where the light was.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I try to be a good man. I am a much better person than I was 5 years ago before I got sober. I’m a far better man after I almost died.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. I clicked this because I didn’t hear or see them. They were there; I felt them.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I grew up Lutheran so I may be biased but I felt what people might call angels. I know they’re not historical figures but that’s the closest.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes we are like an Aspen grove, connected spiritually. We need to be better to each other.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I think “God” is the light.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Make people’s lives better.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes We are here to make others lives better.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes I was being taken somewhere by the most amazing beings and it was unlike anything you can imagine.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Just that death isn’t a bad thing it’s just a part of our journey to wherever we go next.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes, I was abused a bit taken from my parents before my first birthday with over a dozen broken bones. My whole life felt like that story, just repeating until I saved my first life. I tried to kill myself after that because walking was so hard and other factors which led me here. The light made me aware that those experiences were so I would never hesitate when in danger. I realized when horrible things are happening I need to be the calm in the storm to minimize people being hurt.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I think it was love I’ve never really felt love before. Whatever I felt was the most amazing thing I think a human can experience.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I stopped going to church. I don’t think the Bible is translated correctly or is misinterpreted. I believe in a God more than ever now though.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? I now do whatever I can to make peoples' lives even a little better. Before I was selfish and didn’t treat people well sometimes.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The Latin based languages I know don’t have a word for what I experienced. Heaven and angels would probably be closest.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I don’t think it was my brain experiencing what was going on. I guess it could have been the DMT released when I died.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Death should not be feared it is probably the most peaceful thing you will experience once your brain stops getting air.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I only shared it with a friend who had also been shot and my grannie. My friend saw all black so he thought it was interesting because when I saw him in the hospital I thought he was dead. He looked like a fresh dead body.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Just what you hear online and in church. But I saw your podcast and knew I needed to help you with your research.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I don’t think the experience was in my brain. You’re more educated than me obviously but from what I understand is if the brain has no oxygen all activity stops. I think somehow the experience was stored in my DNA or my soul if you believe we have souls.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It hasn’t changed since I woke up in the hospital.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Death is not a bad thing.



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