Maria NDE

Experience Description

I was attacked in November 2005. I had been pregnant for six months. I was kicked in my belly, beaten and struck on my head. I don't remember much more about this attack. I can remember the beginning of the attack, but then everything is missing.

The next thing I can remember was in the hospital. I had a perspective of an observer and I looked down on a young lady, who lay in a bedside. There were a few people standing at her bedside. First, they were speaking to each other, but then they started to talk to her more forcefully. They touched her and clapped their hands in her face trying to get her to wake up. They called her a name, which I didn't understand. It sounded like 'Eira', which is not my name.

In the same moment, I was drawn into a tunnel and was standing inside of it. It was a peculiar feeling but it was not unpleasant. From very far away I heard the voices of the persons at my bedside. They seemed to be very far away. I heard them as though I had cotton in my ears. I turned away from this end of the tunnel and I looked in the other direction where I saw a light beaming at me from there. I no longer heard the voices of the people. I didn't hear anything at all but this was not unpleasant because it seemed that I could listen to the silence.

There was an indescribable, unbelievable love coming from this light. There are no words for it. Words are just inadequate to describe this love and this peace, which filled me and flew through me from the light.

I approached slowly to this light, but without moving myself. I knew there, in this light is my child, my daughter, who has been taken from me in such a cruel way. I didn't see her, but I felt her presence and her love. I also felt the presence and the love of other beings but I couldn't see them.

Suddenly for some reason, I stopped or was stopped. I still saw into the light, but I didn't approach it any more. I felt that here was a boundary and that I had to make a decision. I wanted to go to my child but I knew that my decision wouldn't be accepted and in the same moment, I was sent back. It was not that someone was talking to me, but a feeling that I had to go back. Then I heard the voices at my bedside again and I felt how life was tearing at me. It was tearing me back to life, back to the people. I didn't want to go back and I tried to resist but I had to go back.

I kept looking in the direction of the light and the love. The light decreased, until it wasn't visible any more. The love stayed. It lasted in me. The voices became louder and clearer, the tunnel disappeared and suddenly I was back in the bed. The first thing I felt was pain.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 10.11.2005

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related. Childbirth. Criminal attack ich war im 6. Monat schwanger und wurde überfallen; dabei schwer verletzt (Tritte und Schläge in den Bauch und Kopf). Ich lag dann auf der Intensivstation nach einer OP bei der sie mich wieder zusammengeflickt haben. Mein Kind war tot. 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' Yes, I was six months pregnant and was attacked. I was badly injured, hit in the belly and struck on my head. My child was dead and I was in the ICU.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal In the tunnel at the boundary

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? In the tunnel at the boundary

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Everything that was far was near and everything that was near was far. There was no time, at least not linear as it is here. Everything was somehow 'now'.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was much clearer and there was no difference between far and near. I don't mean that I had no depth perception. It is hard to put into words. Everything was near and far away at the same time.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. In the tunnel, the voices of the persons at my bedside sounded very far away like hearing through cotton. Then they couldn't be heard. There were no sounds any more. But I had the impression that my hearing was much more accurate than normal. Even though there were no sounds, I could hear the silence.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes A dark tunnel with some kind of rings or small dark stripes. It did not seem to be made of a physical material.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I couldn't see them directly, but I felt their presence. On the one hand the presence of my daughter and on the other hand the presence of the beings. They were directly in the light in front of me. We didn't talk to each other, we just sensed. If we exchanged something, it was love.

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes There are no words for it but I can try it. It was very bright, but did not blind me. It was warm. It was very soft and gentle. This light flew through me and gave me an unbelievable amount of love and peace. Everything flew through me.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Unconditional love, sympathy, hope, complete absence of fear, total peace, complete feeling of security.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes There seemed to be a boundary in the tunnel. When I reached it, I was stopped, but not really physically. It was more knowing that if I go on past this boundary there is no way back to this life.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Moderate

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes It is more difficult for me to join in relationships of any kind. I feel a superficiality in most of the encounters I have and I really have a problem dealing with this. All the irrelevances and interpersonal problems seem to me so meaningless and I refuse to deal with them. I isolate myself, even while I am wishing for a deep connection to people. Maybe I've become strange since then.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes In the years since this happened, I could remember it. I could feel it all again and again and see the pictures. But as soon as I tried to express it in words, it was not possible for me. There were just no words for it.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The persons addressed me with a strange name 'Eira'. I ask myself if there is a meaning and if yes, what is it? And then there is this silence, which I could hear. Since this experience I am really sensitive to noise. That could even be a result of my head injuries. But the silence I am able to create now here brings me step by step to a more peaceful mood. Since then I find myself more and more looking for the silence.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Because of my education as a nurse and health instructor I was in contact with death and dying. I read about this topic a little bit, but I didn't deal deeply with it.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It felt real. My mind rebelled against it and named me a chucklehead. But every reasonable explanation, which I was looking for, which I tried to make up, couldn't convince me that this was not real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Because it still feels real, even after such a long time, as though it was really experienced. It feels as real as learning to ride a bike.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No